July 10th Friday Update

Yes! I am able to blog this way, it looks like! At least for now! Here we go!

1. 
Watched my Lutheran church service this morning and right off the bat the minister says, "This day has been set aside to celebrate the founding of our nation, and yet perhaps this year in particular we also must recognize our failures, and acknowledge our call as followers of Christ to do better."

An immediate welcome for where I am in my walk with God and mental health.

The Scripture for this service focused on Matthew 11, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." In discussing the heavy burdens we may be carrying at this moment, the issue of self-loathing came up and was immediately refuted with the reminder that God created us, looked at all he had created, and said it was very good. This was followed by whoever is running the church social media posting in the chat, "That means all of you... you are very good." What a contrast to the struggles I continue to have with the church's constant encouragement of self-deprecation.

And the funny thing is, I don't feel like that being reminded that God calls me good gives me a pass to do whatever I want, which is I think is what people fear will happen. ("If you think you're good on your own, you won't need God!") It's a much better motivator for me to do better. If I can hold in my heart that God sees me and calls me good, it gives me the strength to do what is right and to stay connected to God. If I hold in my heart that I am always unworthy, I shrink away and hide and try to not bother anyone, let alone God, because I don't deserve that attention.

2.
Even if things go well with continued reopening and it doesn't result in millions of deaths, I am dreading the moment where everyone else has moved on and I'm left behind.

Where church services stop live streaming because it's too much hassle and people are there anyway.

Where no one will have Zoom game times with me anymore because they can just go spend time with their real life friends.

Where theater goes back offline and I lose my access to the shows and readings I'm able to watch now.

Where none of my healthy friends are worried anymore but I still know it's not safe for me to leave yet.

3.
Some legitimate questions for those advocating for opening schools in the fall. If I could get answers to these I'd feel a lot better about reopening:

• Are exceptions being made for kids who are immunecompromised or have family members who are?
• What happens if (more likely when) a teacher gets COVID? Does their entire class get tested? Does the class quarantine?
• How about a student?
• How about a student's parent?
• How about a student's parent's coworker? 
• If it's in a middle or high school, students are seeing multiple teachers a day. If one of them contracts it, does the entire school get tested/quarantine?
• If an elementary school teacher gets it and lives with a teacher at a different school, does that other school also then need to following testing/quarantine procedures? 
• How are sick days working for teachers who need to quarantine for testing or exposure?
• Who is doing the cleaning? Are additional janitorial staff being hired or are teachers expected to disinfect their classrooms as well?
• Who is going to pay for additional hand sanitizer and school supplies now that class sets of supplies can no longer be shared? Teachers have been buying these on their own for years because of lack of funding, let alone buying separate sets for 24 students.
• If many teachers choose to quit or take early retirement rather than risk their lives to teach in person, what is the plan for replacing them?
• The already stretched substitute pool is full of retired folks who are at higher risk for COVID complications. With fewer substitutes, are students going to miss out on days of school or combine with other classes against social distancing guidelines? Will teachers be forced to teach sick?
• Lunch protocols. Just... how? How are you planning on social distancing during socializing time when no one can wear masks? Is the lunch area being expanded and each child eats alone or with siblings only? How many staff members do you plan on assigning to the lunch area to monitor this?
• How are additional emergency protocols being rewritten to accommodate this? Active shooter protocols, for instance, often involves locking doors, closing windows, and huddling together in corners of the room to be left unseen. Tornado protocols crowd students together in sealed-off hallways. 
• If emergency protocols stay the same, will there still be emergency drills in the fall, thus putting students at risk without an emergency?

I have more. But this is a start.