The Quest for Skye

If you want to read my snarking of The Quest for Skye in order, here's an easy page that will let you get to whichever chapter you need.

Chapter 1 (in which a lab experiment goes horribly wrong)

Chapter 2 (in which we meet Morgan and Tammy Hamilton, our horrible protagonists)

Chapter 3 (in which Morgan explores the ship and meets Malinda Leontiou - and Gym Kim, who we never see again)

Chapter 4 (in which we meet Skye, who is THE MOST AMAZING CHILD EVER)

Chapter 5 (in which Skye astounds everyone by praying and her father tries to pawn her off on a stranger)

Chapter 6 (in which Morgan has a heart-to-heart talk with Doctor L. L.)

Chapter 7 (in which the author doesn't understand words, Morgan and Skye take a Titanic picture, and we meet Maya the maid)

Chapter 8 (in which Tammy and Malinda Leontiou chat as Morgan and Skye get ready to go dolphin kissing)

Chapter 9 (in which the author is super condescending toward working Jamaicans and Skye amazes everyone by letting an old lady borrow her camera)

Chapter 10 (in which we view the convention and it is hilarious)

Chapter 11 (in which Morgan encourages Skye to take credit for someone else's photos and Skye wakes up everyone up in the middle of the night to make everyone look at a comet)

Chapter 12 (in which Skye attracts butterflies and plays beautiful piano music)

Chapter 13/14 (in which the Leontious leave the ship unexpectedly and Skye video calls Morgan magically weeks later)

Chapter 15 (in which Lance the Tennis Player invites the Hamiltons to Greece, all expenses paid)

Chapter 16 (in which the Hamiltons go to a five-star hotel and REALLY REALLY HATE IT)

Chapter 17 (in which the Hamiltons learn the Leontious are dead and that they have a chance to adopt Skye, live on Leontiou Island, and run the clinic)

Chapter 18 (in which Skye is extremely chipper and gives them a tour, and I almost get sick because of how much I hate these characters)

Chapter 19 (in which Skye finally gets to sleep in her own bed again and Maya threatens Morgan)

Chapter 20 (in which Skye really likes to be on time and the reporter comes out of the sea and is thrown in clinic jail)

Chapter 21 (in which we see the terrible technological setup at the clinic, and the Hamiltons discover The Locked Door)

Chapter 22 (in which the Hamiltons toss around conspiracy theories, none of which make any sense)

Chapter 23 (in which the Hamiltons talk with Markus the reporter, who confesses that he hacked the Leontious' computer, although Morgan completely misses this information)

Chapter 24 (in which Lance and Morgan face down the Greek army with a pistol and insults)

Chapter 25 (in which Morgan and Tammy talk about conspiracies and make a terrible plan)

Chapter 26 (in which Ty shows up out of nowhere and the Hamiltons plan to get into The Locked Door)

Chapter 27 (in which the mystery of The Locked Door is revealed)

Chapter 28 (in which Skye is Jesus and the Hamiltons finally decide to stay at the clinic)

Chapter 29 (in which the Americans save the day from the Greeks and the whole Greek economy subplot is wrapped up really abruptly, also Doctor L. L. dies)

Chapter 30/31 (in which Skye has her first near-death experience)

Chapter 32 (in which Skye and Morgan have a heart-to-heart talk about heaven and how she loves Phantom of the Opera but doesn't know the characters' names)

Chapter 33 (in which Morgan runs off to Athens and Skye has her second near-death experience)

Chapter 34 (in which everybody goes to Florida and dolphins are ruined for all the readers)

Chapter 35 (in which Skye plays on stage with Trans-Siberian Orchestra)

Chapter 36 (in which people from the past show up and complete the stupidest secret project of all time)

Chapter 37 (in which SKYE DIES YAY)

Chapter 38 (in which Morgan and Skye are awful, awful people and everyone gushes about Skye)

Chapter 39 (in which the miracle happens and there are PAGES of gushing about Skye which are so nauseating I had to skip them all)