Friday, November 22, 2013

Potential Facebook Statuses

Blog note: Sorry, no Skye today. While the arthritis in my wrist and fingers is being fairly well soothed by my new meds, I've had a week of horrific neck pain. It doesn't feel like arthritis, but rather like I've been sleeping wrong. Whatever the reason, it's made it extremely difficult for me to sit up for long periods of time, and between work and NaNo I never made it to writing this blog. Back next week!

I have been playing for the last week and a half or so with http://what-would-i-say.com, a website that takes your Facebook statuses, scrambles them up, and suggests new statuses made up of the old ones. Sometimes the results can be quite entertaining. To give you some kind of blog today, here are a few of my favorites from the last week:

I've fallen asleep, Jacob and I have to have my hair cut and they said, Oh, no, you

CLOAK! CLOAK! trying to go to school naked shower boy and illustrated by its towels, apparently.

Now Adam and half of various alreadyreleased songs & say goodbye to Jacob and I were all brilliant and not have to HU.

Sometimes it is the next month!

So, my teeth must grow back together!

I got to do illegal things.

Sometimes you just have to pour into something else.

A Weekend in front of our basement is way scarier than anything outside.

It asked her except if the jigglyeyed spiders growing in my mouth, then he was cast in a helicopter, the helicopter will explode in midair and then I WILL to answer his TV but a little while before I get crazy

Both in for an old friend of Dads, one was a duck. Not much a little complicated for the way THROUGH.

I got beautiful if Mama meets Jesus TONIIIIIIIIGHT, we got dyslexia and I am overwhelmed once again I'm open to connect to get going, but I could keep track of my car curled up in my head all day, that

Elizabeth was sitting in total silence for like ten minutes trying to complain about a pear tree!

My mom got nothin' on drugs, but...

Nothing wakes me up in the midst of friends

I'm desperate to start inhaling other animals.

and then Hannibal Lecter didn't know he was allergic to eat/sleep/drink water/get out

It's all good, because if I'm gonna complain, I might have a Les Mis themed wedding!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Movies in My "LOL, Vol. 3" Playlist

Back in May of this year, I wrote a blog about my favorite silly YouTube videos. Well, since then, I have collected more. My third "LOL" playlist has reached 200 videos, which is the most you can have in a playlist, so I have had to start a third.

Since my original playlist was so popular, and since I'm going to have to continue updating as I see and save more amusing videos, I have also decided to (in the near future - read: when I have the energy) make a page at the top of my blog, dedicated solely to hosting the whole list. Every time I post an update here on the blog, I will also add it to the master list page.

So, without further ado, here are some videos I have enjoyed since the last time we spoke about this, although they are not sorted as nicely as the master list is:

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 18

Recap: The Hamiltons have been told Doctor Layland and Malinda Leontiou are dead, and now they have been given the choice to adopt Skye and live on the island forever running the clinic and looking for a cure for Batten disease. They flip out over and over again for no reason, and then finally ask to see Skye. So... here she comes, I'm sure.

Lance the Tennis Player gives the Hamiltons a brief tour of the clinic, but it culminates in finding Skye, who has apparently recently been sick and is now conversing with an elderly lady in a wheelchair. Skye is delighted to see the Hamiltons.
“Oh, I’m getting better. Dr. Rozak said it was the influenza. I never got my Swine Flu vaccine. Oink, oink! Now that you’re here, I’m sooooo excited. Dad, ‘member when Jessie kept jumping up trying to get our attention,” she replied in her perky voice.
GAH. I have not missed this girl at all. I hope her perky voice gets laryngitis and all she can do is bounce and wiggle and not say any of these obnoxiously cutesy things ever again.

She and Morgan ramble about dolphins for a bit, she expresses a wish that humans would always smile (uh, okay), and then the Hamiltons attempt to talk to her about her loss.
“[N]ow it’s better because you’re here. I consider you my parents, too. You’re my mom and dad.”
Of course she does. Frankly, if I had parents like hers who were so eager to pawn me off on the people around me, I'd consider anyone more attentive than them my parents, too.

Skye announces she's going to give them a more intense tour of the clinic.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where I almost give up on writing this chapter because Skye is so annoying and obnoxious and cheerfully embodying EVERYTHING I HATE about fictional children that it was beginning to make me a little nauseous. I couldn't even come up with anything funny to say about it, I hated her so much.

THAT'S RIGHT, J. L. ROTHDIENER. Your book is so bad it MADE ME PHYSICALLY SICK.

But fortunately this is a very short chapter, so I determined I could keep going.

Skye introduces them to another doctor at the clinic, Dr. Rozak, who she proclaims to be her favorite. Dr. Rozak, like everyone else in this bizarre world where medical prowess is not built on actual accomplishments, is a little bit in awe to meet the Hamiltons:
“The privilege is mine. I’ve heard a lot about you, and I’ve read what you’ve written in the medical journals. Are you going to join our staff? I certainly could use some help from professionals of your caliber.”
Does he not already have people on staff who think rare childhood diseases are bad? If not, he's right, he should get some.
“I’m not sure we’ll be here tomorrow morning.” Tammy spoke without thinking. 
Skye’s face saddened. “You can’t leave. You have to give it a chance! Give me a chance! I don’t want you to leave.” A tear came to the little girl’s eyes— something the couple had never seen.
I am pretty sure my first reaction to this is not supposed to be, "YAY SKYE IS SAD," but that's what it was. Tammy hugs her for awhile while Dr. Rozak whispers to Morgan that they have to be very gentle with Skye because she's been through a lot. He then tries to convince them to join the clinic staff some more.
“I’ve heard that you’re one of the top administrators in the medical world.”
"You're so brilliant, you even included a video chat option on your website so people could talk to you face-to-face if they googled the name of your clinic - and you did all this without even knowing it!"
Skye broke the silence. “Let’s get a move on!” 
The Hamiltons were amazed by the girl’s resilience and her ability to bounce back after tragedy, heartache.
First of all, yeah, Skye's resilience and the extravagant praise lavished upon her for it is really going to continue to annoy me me. But secondly, could Rothdiener not decide which word he wanted to use at the end of that sentence so he just included both?

The chapter ends with Skye proclaiming the island a great place to live and then oh-so-subtly says she hopes the Hamiltons will live there with her some day.

Hey, I made it through the chapter without being sick! Now to make it through the rest of the book... One chapter at a time, Hannah, one chapter at a time.

(Chapter 19.)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My 4 Favorite Minor Characters From 30 Rock

Jacob and I just finished rewatching 30 Rock all the way through, so I figured now would be a perfect time to do a quick round-up of my favorite recurring characters from the show. I've already spoken of my love for its main character, Liz Lemon, and now it's time to mention just a few of the awesome others, especially those who have only appeared in a few episodes. This list is in no particular order, just a list of people whose appearance in an episode always made me yell, "YAY!"


1. Devon Banks (Will Arnett). Nothing Will Arnett has done since Arrested Development has really taken off, but this is my favorite of his non-G.O.B. roles. Devon Banks is Jack Donaghy's gay nemesis, and whether he's flirting with Kenneth the page or pretending to be straight so he can marry his boss' daughter and take control of the company, he's always trying to come up with a way to destroy Donaghy.


2. Drew Baird (Jon Hamm). At first glance, this guy seems like the total package, but as Liz starts dating him, she discovers that he has lived in a bubble of good looks his whole life. Everything he does, people tell him he is really good at it, even though it's almost never true. He turns out to be horrifically bad at, among other things, tennis, cooking, the Heimlich, and doing smart things in general. His total incompetence makes him a bad boyfriend but a really entertaining character.


3. Wesley Snipes (Michael Sheen). My favorite of all of Liz's rejected exes, Wesley is a pretentious, thoroughly unlikable British man who insists on using (not really British) phrases such as "foot cycle" for bicycle and "sweeps" for spring cleaning. Despite the fact that he and Liz really hate each other, he decides they're destined to be together because it's time for both of them to settle. She agrees to marry him, but fortunately meets someone else immediately afterward and feels comfortable breaking up with Wesley forever.


4. Dr. Leo Spaceman (Chris Parnell). Nearly every line out of Dr. Spaceman's mouth is brilliantly quotable. He is purported to be an excellent doctor, but when it comes down to it, he seems to be the only doctor anywhere in New York City. He freely dispenses pills to himself and his patients, asks his patients' help in deciphering test results, and laments that there's no branch of medicine that studies the brain. If this list were in order, he would probably be at the very top.

Friday, November 8, 2013

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 17

Recap: The Hamiltons have been flown to a classy hotel in Greece they absolutely hate, where something mysterious is going on with the Leontious. There are rumors floating around that they're dead, but nobody really knows. The Hamiltons and their tennis player friend are going to fly to the island the next morning and hopefully we will find out what's going on.

Lance the Tennis Player meets the Hamiltons in the lobby and they exchange pleasantries:
“Most comfortable room I’ve ever had.” Morgan responded honestly.
“Yes, Layland did everything first class.”
“Is he dead?” Morgan crossed his arms, his lips in a straight line, waiting for a response.
Uh.... and Morgan just jumps right into it. And just look at that body language. He is so needlessly defiant about this. Lance has said he's not at liberty to talk about stuff, they've come this far, why not just go the rest of the way and find out what's going on on your own? Sigh.

Lance deflects the question by saying once again he can't talk about it and they'll find out the answers soon, and then he shuttles them out the door and into a limo (which will take them to an airport, where a helicopter will take them to the island).
Morgan noticed the reporters who’d confronted them the night before, standing by a window, watching them. He shot them a piercing glare.
Sheesh. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed. Morgan needs to tone it down a little. He probably didn't sleep well because he just kept thinking how out of place he felt in that fancy bed.

His cranky suspicion turns out to be well-founded, however, as the reporters actually follow the limo. Lance reassures the Hamiltons that nobody can get onto the island without his permission, and Morgan decides this means it's time to yell at Lance some more. He crankily demands that Lance tell him what he does. Lance, to his credit, remains calm, even saying awesome things like, "I hear frustration in your voice," and doesn't give him much more information. He does say the reporters are extremely liberal, and thus "on the wrong side, politically."

Morgan demands once again that Lance just TELL them if the Leontious are dead.
Morgan’s tone turned more hostile. “Oh, come on. Just answer the question.”
“You seem to be really angry today.”
Morgan’s voice grew louder. “Now, why wouldn’t I be? The last couple months, I tried to contact Leontiou a number of times and never got a response. Suddenly, a strange man showed up in my office with two first-class round trip tickets to Athens, Greece, and ten thousand dollars. We arrive here and are given the royal treatment in an upscale hotel.[”]
So far NONE OF THIS IS REASON TO BE ANGRY. Seriously. He can't be mad at Lance because Doctor L. L. never got back to him. Getting tickets to Athens and money and upscale hotel royal treatment are all good things. But he's been cranky about it the whole time. Morgan is apparently just such a control freak that he can't take advantage of nice things people offer him unless he knows exactly what's going on all the time, and THEN thinks that listing off all the nice things they've offered him is an adequate justification of why he's so irrationally furious.

The only thing he mentions that could actually be cause for anger is that the reporters are pretty annoying. But other than that, he says he's just upset because it feels like a spy novel. Lance reassures him that he and Tammy are perfectly safe, and Morgan just sulks the rest of the way to the airport.

They get into the helicopter, leaving the reporters behind. Apparently, however, the helicopter is quiet enough that they can cheerfully and comfortably participate in some small talk. (I would not have thought this to be the case, and my brief Internet research seems to back me up here.) Lance tells the story of how he got the job with Doctor L. L. after his tennis days were over.
“That’s when Layland Leontiou stopped by, and offered me a job. I had never met the man, but I’d heard about him. Who hadn’t? Many thought he would be the leader of Greece one day.”
“Is he dead?” Tammy asked boldly.
What, do they think one of these times they'll surprise him into telling them the answer?

They get to the island, and we learn the clinic is a 2000-year-old Roman prison and John of Bible fame might have been kept here.
They climbed out of the large chopper and were escorted by two armed guards into the building. 
Morgan immediately noticed the scent of freshly mown grass.
Inside the building?

They head inside and meet Victoria, Doctor L. L.'s private secretary.
Victoria turned toward them and a smile tipped her lips.
A smile did what now? Is this a phrase?

Finally, the lawyers, Alton and Arlen Brown, show up.
Morgan was ready for the mystery to be solved. After all, they knew nothing more than they did the day Lance mysteriously arrived at their clinic. They’d certainly been patient.
I hardly think the definition of being patient is asking, "Is he dead?" every few seconds. But Alton confirms that, yes, Doctor L. L. and Malinda are both dead, from a fire. So I guess they were both killed in that opening scene, although I have no idea how Doctor L. L. died, seeing as how he was pretty far away from the action, safe in his observing office. Maybe he rushed down to try to save Malinda and burned up in the process. Maybe we'll get some explanation for this sometime.

The Hamiltons continue being "patient," demanding to know whether Skye is okay and refusing an offer of more coffee by saying things like, "Please tell us what we want to know." GAH, I hate these people. They can't just wait for the lawyers to explain things the way they need to explain them.

Everybody gets a copy of Doctor L. L.'s will, which indicates that since both he and Malinda are dead, Skye inherits everything. However, Doctor L. L. used to be married to an Italian model, who is probably going to try to fight the courts to take his money.
“I noticed the date of death is blank on the will. Why?” Morgan persisted. 
“Dr. Hamilton, for all purposes, Layland Leontiou is still alive. On paper, at least. If it’s leaked that he’s dead before we have everything in place, the courts will take over.” 
Morgan felt his anger rising. “You’re joking! Isn’t that against the law?” 
“We are walking a thin line,” Lance replied. “Much is at stake.” 
Morgan jabbed a finger toward Barrows. “Don’t give me that. It’s against the law. You’re a lawyer; you should know that more than anyone.”
YES MORGAN PLEASE DO FIGHT WITH THE GREEK LAWYERS ABOUT GREEK DEATH RECORD LAWS WITH ALL YOUR EXPERT KNOWLEDGE ON THE SUBJECT

Seriously, this section is baffling and just makes Morgan looks even more horribly obnoxious than he already does. In the first place, I looked up some sample wills online and they typically don't even have a date of death on them. (Why would they? They were written when the person was alive. Date of death is inconsequential.) Secondly, I looked up information about delaying death certification records, and from what I can find, there's no legal reason they'd have to record it immediately - especially if there were mysterious or unusual circumstances about the death that needed to be addressed before creating a death certificate.

However, this is all just information in the States. If Morgan is out-of-his-mind wrong about how wills and death records work in the States, how much more wrong is he likely to be about how they work in Greece? Much less for a public figure of this magnitude.

Also, why is he even angry about it?

Is Doctor L. L.'s dignity being violated by not having his death date on the will immediately? Why the heck does Morgan even care?

WHY IS MORGAN SUCH A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PERSON?
“I have all the documents for you, Morgan and Tammy, to adopt Skye, and care for her for the rest of her life. I understand that you can’t have children of your own. This is your opportunity to adopt Skye Leontiou, making her your daughter. At the same time, you would protect the Leontious’ dream, using their money in the medical world to find cures and keep this island, this clinic, forging ahead.”
Now, this... this might be illegal. Surely the Leontious had set up their own guardians for Skye, and surely it wasn't the people they randomly met two months ago, and surely the courts can't just be like, "Nope, how about the Hamiltons adopt her instead so they can also take care of the clinic?"

Tammy flips out about the lawyers "bringing our personal lives into this," and wants to leave, but Morgan persuades her to stay.
“Okay. Mr. Barrows, you have our interest. What’s this all about?” Morgan sounded calmer, more rational.
Uh... well, I'd say it's about the Hamiltons having the opportunity to adopt Skye Leontiou, making her their daughter, and at the same time, they would protect the Leontious’ dream, using their money in the medical world to find cures and keep this island, this clinic, forging ahead.
“Layland has entrusted you not only with his prized possession, his daughter, but also with this clinic that he loved. He wants the two of you to take over the clinic, and run it as you see fit.”
Well, at least the Leontious had some say in this. Though you'd think he'd have given the Hamiltons a heads-up of some kind.
“This clinic’s sole purpose is to find a cure for Batten disease. Nothing more! . . . Last year Malinda and her staff discovered a cure for a rare virus, which literally saved an entire village in Africa.”
"And it TICKED OFF Doctor L. L., because this clinic's sole purpose was supposed to be to find a cure for Batten disease! Nothing more! None of these obscure African viruses!"

Oh, we find out why Doctor L. L. chose the Hamiltons to take over. He asked Skye who she'd want to be her new parents, and she said them. I don't know if he just makes it a habit of re-asking her every couple months and adjusting his will accordingly, or if he literally only thought of making provisions for her since he met the Hamiltons.

If the Hamiltons agree to this deal, they'll live on the island, run the clinic, take care of Skye, and, uh, apparently run their St. Paul clinic from here as well, with technology. (Though really, I think the St. Paul clinic would probably prefer just hiring somebody else.)
Barrows sounded confused. “Frankly, I’m surprised that you’re hesitating. Most people in your position would jump at this opportunity.”
Most people instantly agree to adopt new friends' children, move their homes to a remote island on Greece, and take over somebody else's life work with tons of responsibility to find a cure for a specific rare disease. No need to think about all that at all.

The Hamiltons say they need to think about it, and the lawyers give them a week. And now they've asked to see Skye, so she'll be reappearing in the next chapter. Oh goody.

We're 45% of the way through this book. WE'RE ALMOST HALFWAY, EVERYONE.

(Chapter 18.)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Song Lyric Game Answers!

I realized I never got around to posting all the answers. So here you go. Ones that were never guessed are in italics. YouTube links whenever possible so now you can go listen to all my songs!

1. Never win first place, I don't support the team, I can't take direction and my socks are never clean. - Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink

2. A new life, what I wouldn't give to have a new life. - A New Life from Jekyll & Hyde

3. Life could not better be, better be, better be, it could not possibly, no, sirrah, sirrah, sirree. - Prologue from The Court Jester

4. I'm a walking contradiction, my ambition, my addiction, it turns me on. - Uncensored by Ke$ha

5. Well, the world is facin' problems, gettin' bigger every day, we got a greenhouse over Texas and recession's on the way. - There Ain't But One Way (Kickin' Ass) from A Bit of Fry and Laurie

6. I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where oxlips and the nodding violet grows. - Malevolent Oberon Suite from A Midsummer Night's Music

*7. You have to understand the way I am, mein herr. - Mein Herr from Cabaret, performed by Alan Cumming

*8. You'd never recognize the room. The pictures all have different frames now. - Since You Stayed Here from Brownstone, performed by Michael Crawford

9. On that sunny day, didn't know I'd meet such a beautiful girl walking down the street. - Senorita by Justin Timberlake

10. I feel like I would like to be somewhere else doing something that matters. - More Than Useless by Relient K

11. I spend most every day selling myself, calling people on the phone. - Jumpy Bean by Groovelily

12. All alone by the table of food in my wrinkled suit and my borrowed tie. - Big Bad World One by Jonathan Coulton

*13. For you, there'll be no more crying. For you, the sun will be shining. - Songbird by Eva Cassidy, performed by the cast of Glee

14. You were meant to live large, come on, take charge, let's go light the world up. - Super Trouper by Superchic[k]

15. You've been dreaming just one dream nearly all your life, hoping, scheming just one theme: Will you be a wife? - Me from Beauty and the Beast

16. He's a very smart prince, he's a prince who prepares. - On the Steps of the Palace from Into the Woods

*17. Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the Hidden Paw. - Macavity from Cats, performed by Sarah Brightman

18. We'll have an adventure and several long trips, we'll make some new friends and maybe get a bite to eat, all 'cause we say, "Whaddya know, Haddi-Man?" - The Whaddya Know, Haddi-Man? theme song from Homestar Runner

*19. One less bell to answer, one less egg to fry. - One Less Bell to Answer, as performed by Michael Ball

20. Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story, needed a new leader to restore its former glory. - Springtime for Hitler from The Producers

21. We start the story when Mom met Dad and they danced all night and he took her home. - That Spells DNA by Jonathan Coulton

22. This is the one situation I wanted most to avoid. - Mountain Duet from Chess

*23. Sitting here, eating my heart out waiting, waiting for some lover to call. - Hot Stuff by Donna Summer, performed by Michael Ball

24. I can't feel you, I can't feel you, I can't hear you, I can't speak 'cause love don't stink, love don't stink, love don't stink like that cottage cheese. - We Hate You Please Die by Crash and the Boys from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

*25. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Relient K

26. I remember begging my mom for these Z. Cavarriccis, with a striped genera shirt just to rock with these brutinis. - No Turning Back by Out of Eden

27. Usually in the morning, I'm filled with sweet belonging and everything is beautiful to see. - Like a Sad Song by John Denver

28. I guess I'm not too good at keeping love alive for long. - Next Time You Fall In Love from Starlight Express

29. Ich bin Dur und ich bin Moll, ich bin Akkord und ich bin Melodie. - Ich bin Musik by Patrick Stanke from Mozart!

30. God has given me a window and I can finally see the light. - Window by Out of Eden

31. Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues. - Let's Dance by David Bowie

32. The Irish fear nothing and no one, they keep fighting till everyone's dead. I'm not sure where this metaphor's going, I just felt like it had to be said. - Ireland (Reprise) from Legally Blonde: The Musical

33. How have I come to this? How did I slip and fall? - I Know the Truth from Aida

*34. I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that. - Falling Slowly by Kris Allen

35. To test this gold for its worth is the same as testing me, and the fire burns easily today. - Anything Genuine by Smalltown Poets

*36. Sooner or later you're gonna be mine, sooner or later you're gonna be fine. - Sooner or Later from Dick Tracy, performed by Bernadette Peters

*37. Because the world is round, it turns me on. - Because from Across the Universe

38. Alone in the valley, I cry for you to fill me with your peace. - Peace by Rebecca St. James

39. Everything Charlotte says is a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie. - It Can't Be True from 13

40. He's several hours late, the skyline's growing dim, while others deck the halls you dream of decking him. - Never Fall in Love With an Elf from Elf: The Musical

41. Welcome, monsieur, sit yourself down and meet the best innkeeper in town. - Master of the House from Les Miserables

42. What a gyp! This such a rip-off. Every time she sneers at me, I wanna rip her upper lip off. - Good News, Bad News from The Goodbye Girl

43. Forgive me, for I did not know, 'cause I was just a boy, you were so much more. - Wicked Little Town (Reprise) from Hedwig and the Angry Inch

44. Shed no tears for me, there'll be rain enough today. - Stranger to the Rain from Children of Eden

45. What are you gonna do on New Year's Eve? - The Last Day of the Year from Striking 12

46. Some of my old friends are here, the light isn't good but their outlines are clear. - One of My Best Friends by Michael Crawford

47. Tommy used to work on the docks. - Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

48. When the years have all come and gone, they'll find beneath the ground our two bodies joined as one, showing how we were bound. - Dance My Esmeralda from Notre-Dame de Paris

49. He's a very nice prince. (And?) And... it's a very nice ball. - He's a Very Nice Prince from Into the Woods

*50. Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless. Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless. - Gloomy Sunday, performed by Sarah McLachlan

Friday, November 1, 2013

No Skye... But a NaNo Snippet!

Sorry about no Skye this week. Blogging might be weird this month, what with trying to do NaNo. But every time I can't post an actual blog, I'll post a snippet from my NaNo speed story thus far. Today, I present the befuddling bit where my main character explains the origins of his name:
“Now what was your name again?”
“Beastly,” I said. I had always hated my name, my mom thought I was very ugly when I was born so she named me Beastly Hugging Robins. I had always asked her to give me a new name but she just shook her head and said, “This is what you get, you make the most of your life, Beastly, and you can’t complain or it won’t count anymore.”
The midget shook his head. “That is a terrible,” he said. “My name is Edward.” 
“Oh, I wish my name was Edward,” I said with a sigh. “Then nobody would hate me as they do now. Did you know I cannot even drive in traffic because the people shout at me, ‘Oh, Beastly!’” 
“I did not,” the midget said solemnly. “But I’m not surprised. What was your mother thinking?” 
I shrugged. I had theorized too many times before with too many friends for it to do any good now. 
This is going to be a fun ride.