Thursday, February 9, 2012

Top Facebook Statuses of January

Since I still haven't posted that "deep" blog I meant to, or that musical spotlight blog I meant to (I have a show in mind and everything, I just haven't written it yet), here's a little list to make it look like I'm a semi-regular blogger until I finally write something real. These are the top 10 statuses I wrote in January - most liked, most commented on, that kinda thing. Now you can be all updated without even having to add me.

For those who don't know me and my family, Seth, who shows up twice in this list, is my completely crazy 10-year-old brother. He shows up twice because he is hilarious.

Me: I lost my voice.
Seth: Oh. Did you make a deal with Ursula too?
The answer is yes. Little known fact: I used to be a mermaid.

New Sherlock = win. Good thing, too, I've been waiting a year and a half for it.

Me: You're my crazy brother. How do you feel about that?
Seth: I don't feel good about it.
Me: You'd rather be the sane one?
Seth: Yes. (A pause, then he suddenly lunges at me, yelling) GRLARLRBREAERADRAR!
Me: ...Well, I think you've just given up any chance of being the sane one.

One of the reasons I enjoy being home: sometimes my mother will make me an omelet at 11:45 at night, and all she asks in return is a Facebook status about her. That's pretty cool.

So I mostly agree with the sentiments in that "I hate religion and love Jesus" video that's going around, but even if I completely agreed, I couldn't repost it because the guy DOESN'T KNOW WHAT "LITERALLY" MEANS. "I literally resent it"? Really? REALLY, dude? Were people arguing that you only metaphorically resented religion? Knowing how to rhyme words is nice, but knowing what they actually mean is so much nicer.

Day 1 of student teaching: done! Whoo! Thinking it's going to be a good semester.

Tonight I am especially thankful for Lisa, Erika and Josh Smith, who have a crazy amount of love for me, and Jacob, who says awesome ridiculous things to me and makes me laugh after a long day.

Just read a status that said, "The object to your left is now your weapon of choice in the upcoming zombie apocalypse." Great. I'm dead. I don't think the zombies will be terribly intimidated by my Snuggie.

There was a book in the HU bookstore titled, "When Your Hormones Go Haywire." Turned out to be a menopause book (because that's super applicable to a college campus?) but the best part was I thought it said, "When Your Mormons Go Haywire." Yeah. Gotta watch out for those Mormons. Sometimes they just COMPLETELY LOSE THEIR MINDS. I'm watching you, Jennie and Ticia.

I had a dream that I bought 45 movies from a video rental store going out of business. Then I realized: 1) I didn't even like most of these movies, 2) I had paid like $50 a movie, and 3) they were all on VHS, and I don't own a VCR. Dream Hannah does not make wise spending choices.

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