Monday, February 25, 2013

Movie Reviews by Jessie (Part 3)

Oh, we still have more Jessie. So much more Jessie.
Good Will Hunting - Matt Damon!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh i am so much more than positive that i have heard this name before. i am sure that he was in a really good moviei saw like earl harbor or something like that. 
Earl Harbor was the less successful sequel, I guess.
Tom and Jerry: The Movie - well i really thought that for a cartoon movie it was quite original and really good. anyway i rreally thought that they had a good plot about the little girl getting stuck with her mean aunt and her dad being away or lost was it? i am not quite sure but once again back to the good plot. 
"Back to the good plot that I can't remember anything about. It was awesome. I wonder what it was."
Little Man Tate - Oh my geez. i am such a fan of Jodie Foster. her performance in all her movies is always riveting and she puts you on the edge of your seat when evr she opens her mouth to say something in most of the suspencing scenes she just happens to always be in. well anyway i think that this movie will be quite good 
do you know what really makes me ponder though. she is such a good actress at acting like a mother i have no dought that she would make an excellant mother off camera. well how come she has NO KIDS. i mean she is pretty and i am sure she could have a commited relationship in a SNAP. so once again i ask why the heck JODIE FOSTER is NOT married and has NO kids. she would be so excellent at being a mother and it makes me so mad to think that she may not ever have the chance. SHE DOESN"T HAVE ANY KIDS DOES SHE? if she does well good for her. i am almost completely sure she does not though.
I really hope she applies this same logic to all actors. To use another Jodie Foster flick for comparison:

"Anthony Hopkins is such a good actor at acting like a serial killer i have no dought that he would make an excellant serial killer off camera. well how come he has NO KILLS. i mean he is famous and i am sure he could lure people into his apartment in a SNAP. so once again i ask why the heck ANTHONY HOPKINS is NOT a serial killer and has killed NO people. he would be so excellent at being a serial killer and it makes me so mad to think that he may not ever have the chance. HE HASN'T KILLED ANY PEOPLE HAS HE? if he has well good for him. i am almost completely sure he has not though."
At First Sight -  i really think that i will be quite fond of this one. i mean look at thecover he is laughing and i love movies that make you laugh and since his actions are helping my opinion i think this movie will be
Sometimes I just stare at the screen and scratch my head when I read Jessie's review. I'm not really sure what else to do.
The Adventures of Huck Finn - i have a new likeness for elijah wood as well because he is doing a program to save the penguins that are effected by oil spills. the only problem i have with that is the fact that he is probably just doing it to get a jumpstart on his acting career even thpugh he totally doesn't need it because he has been in more than 17 movies and he is only what 18 or 19. that it is good to me.
Yeah, that silly Elijah Wood trying to further his acting career by saving the penguins. If I had been in 17 movies, I wouldn't be doing any of that nonsense.
Cheaper by the Dozen (the original version) - i think that i would like this movie in particular because the up to date one was a classic and i have no dought in my mind that this will be any less enjoyable. 
So I was laughing at this first paragraph and the confusing phrasing at the end and the notion that the Steve Martin remake is a classic, and then I read the next section of her review:
i would reccomend either one of the cheaper by the dozen movies to anyone who is a fan of classics and it is a family movie so it is nice to have afamily to watch it with. but you better hurry because there are only a few of them left. sad but sure.
Quick! Go find a family to watch this movie with! They're being killed off one by one! It doesn't need to be your own family or anything. Any family will do. See if you can get them to come out of hiding to watch this movie with you, because, really, you should be watching it with a family.
Gandhi - Oh my gosh . i had to watch this in my social studies class and although i am sure there is a lesson worth knowing i do not know it!!!!!!!!!
this movie was so boring i fell asleep. yeah i did not feel like i was going to fall asleep i actually did. i mean seriously i understand education is education and it is meant to be boring, stupid, useless, and mind boggling but i mean come on can they not spice it up just a bit.
OK, it's reviews like this that make me think Jessie might be more part troll than I like to admit. But I'm pretty sure I also know people who think like this in real life. So I'm going to continue to believe she is real.
Meet the Feebles - this movie looks good and i really think that i would enjoy watching it. well What exactly do you think? yes i thought so. well we are not as judged as we thought we are we.
Well, that'll tell 'em.

On her review of Surviving Christmas, she gives us a lengthy plot synopsis and ends it with this:
it is nothing likw what i can see is flashing through your brain but it is one of the most enjoyable holiday movies that i have ever seen.
"Your puny little brains cannot even begin to comprehend the glory of the magnificent plot!"
Getting Even With Dad - well this is a first i must say. i really thought that my comedy hat was full to the brim and then i could tip it over but i was wrong. 
Is that what one does with hats that are full?
Duma - Oh my Geez. this movie was such a classic i do not even think a laugh is neccesary.
I have this image in my mind of someone watching, say, Some Like it Hot with Jessie, where she constantly reprimands them for laughing. "Oh my geez, Samantha. This movie is a classic. I do not think a laugh is necessary." Or maybe "neccesary." I can't decide whether that should be pronounced "neckesary" or "nechesary."
Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas - i love any chistmas
Jessie's thoughts on Christmas movies, summed up in four words.
The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course - Oh my gosh. this is totally defacing. these people should be ashamed of them selves. You do not put a movie with a guy that just died and was a world renound hero on the site. its MADNESS>
Jessie seems to think that Flixster should have removed the Crocodile Hunter DVDs from their entire database after Irwin's death. Surely that's the best tribute to those who have passed away. Erase their existence from our websites!
Joseph: King of Dreams - I still have this movie because my grandmother says it it is nice to have spirtial movies every day you run out of chocalate. She is so weird sometimes.
Well, at least we know where Jessie gets it from now.

We're still not done, because this section covered a pretty tiny selection of reviews. There were just so many that needed to be quoted. The next one might be the last one (I think we're nearing the end) but I just don't know anymore.


  1. Please, don't ever let this series stop. EVER.

    1. Sadly, Jessie only wrote so many reviews, and the last ones are from a few years ago. But if I had my way, it would go on forever.