Posts From the Past: Evaluating Movies For Children

Originally posted July 25, 2007.

I found the most insanely awesome movie evaluation site the other day. You know, like screenit.com, where it talks about whether or not movies are suitable for children? I always enjoy browsing through those because although some of the things they list I agree with (profanity and violence and so on), some mention some VERY odd things as "objectionable." For example, screenit's review of Rent states "It's possible the film could inspire some kids to break into song and/or dance." OH HORROR!

Anyway. This other site takes points away from movies for some very bizarre things. A few examples:
-Dog attack. (Not a particularly gory one, it's just the fact that a dog attacks someone.)
-Confessions of murders to a lawyer. (This is listed under the "violence/crime" category. You'd think they'd ENCOURAGE confessing the murders you've committed...)
-Massive tattoos. (Little ones would've been okay, but these are HUGE!)
-The phrase "I want to die." (Erm. Okay.)
-Serious lack of concern for the condition of a teacher impaled with an arrow. (This cracks me up because it's so specific. "Now, children, when our teachers are impaled with arrows, we must all remember to show appropriate amounts of concern!")
-Uncounted deaths. (Counted deaths would've been fine, but we're certainly not going to see a movie where they lose track of them!)
-Gross examination of a dog to determine its gender. (This is one of the reasons they objected to 101 Dalmatians.)
-Humans sent into baking oven. (Okay, there are no words for how funny I find this. For the same reason the impaled teacher was funny. "Oh no! This might teach our children that it's okay for them to try and bake us!")

But the best one of all:

"laughing and crying at the same time with screaming in a mad frenzy, repeatedly."

For "American Pyscho."

If you're wondering whether it's appropriate for your child, I *don't* think that's going to be what makes the final decision for you.

"Nudity... no problem. Harsh language... fine with me. Violent murder... no big deal. Oh, but wait... there's also laughing and crying at the same time with screaming in a mad frenzy! REPEATEDLY! Well, that does it, my child is *not* seeing that!"

I'm all for letting people know what's in these movies so they can decide whether they are comfortable seeing or having their child see it... but, really. Some of these are goooofy.