My sister Bethany and I both work for a website where clients can request various pieces of writing. We're available to write blog entries, bios, press releases, sales copy, reviews of products, whatever. The clients can ask us to use certain keywords in the article. For example, they may ask for a 300-400 word article containing the phrase "personal injury lawyer" 2-3 times. Usually the keywords are pretty easy to fit into the article... but the other day I got this Facebook message from my sister.
I was out to lunch with Jacob when I got the message and tried to read it to him, but I just kept dissolving into helpless giggles. (And then the waitress tried to take our order but I was laughing and crying too hard to say anything. Heh.) I hope it amuses you all as well. I've changed any identifying information in the article.
The article I was looking at was supposed to be 350-650 words, and it was about this specific dentist practice, and in the "Required Keyword" section, there were 84 phrases to use, adding up to 255 words! And I was like "this is ridiculous!" But it intrigued me.
So...I wrote the article (very sloppily) and I still have 100 words left to try to to make it better. But I'm just going to leave it like this, not submit it, and laugh at it. Here's the article I wrote. Every phrase in asterisks is a keyword that I was supposed to use, exactly the way it was written. Do you think you could do a better job than me?
The fake article:
Dr. Jane Doe is a great dentist who received her DDS degree in 1993, and received her pediatric specialty certificate in 1995. Practicing in the Los Angeles area, in her practice “Jane Doh DDS Pediatric Dentistry”, she is a great citizen and the *best pediatric dentist*.
Dr. Doe is a *24 hour dentist*, who offers *affordable dental care* at an *affordable dentistry*. She’s an *Agoura Hills dentist*, and starts with *age one pediatric dentistry* and up. Some of the services offered here at Jane Doh DDS Pediatric Dentistry include *Fillings & Restorative Care*, *Nitrous Oxide Sedation*, *Early Orthodontic Treatment*, *Two-Phase Orthodontics*, putting in *Damon Braces*, using *Invisalign Teen* or *Sealants*, *Exams & Cleanings* and help for any *Dental Emergency*.
If you want to know about *braces cost*, *braces for adults cost*, *braces for children*, *braces for kids cost*, *braces prices*, *cheap braces for kids*, then go to this *cheap dentist* who does *cheap orthodontics* and *child tooth care*. Seriously, if you’re worried about *children and braces*, *teeth braces cost*, *tooth care for kids*, *children braces* or *childrens braces*, this *cosmetic dentist* is great. She offers *free braces for kids*! Even *free dental treatment*!
*What is a dental emergency*? Dr. Doe will help in any *dental emergency* or *tooth emergency*, because she’s a *dental emergency dentist* who offers *dental insurance for children* in *dental offices that accept medi-cal*. No *dentist near me* is as good as this *dentist that accept Medicaid*. Remember, in every *dentistry emergency*, you should find an *emergency dentist* performing *emergency dental*, specifically *emergency dental care for children*. You need *emergency dental help* in this *emergency dental office* doing *emergency dental work* by an *emergency dentist* who knows *emergency dentist care* in her *emergency dentistry*. Did you know she’s an *emergency pediatric dentist*? If you have an *emergency tooth* that needs *emergency tooth care*, find *a pediatric dentist* or find *pediatric dentist*. She offers *free emergency dental* with *full coverage dental insurance*. She is great at *pediatric dentist emergency care* because she’s a *pediatric emergency dentist*!
At your child’s *first dental visit age*, they may need a *fluoridated mouth rinse* with *fluoride mouth wash* or *fluoride tooth paste*. The *invisalign dentist* or *orthodontist* will work on it. Ask about *cost of dental implants*, but remember that these *local dentist offices* offer *low cost dental*, even *low cost dental care*. This *low cost dentist* has *new dental treatments* in her *pediatric dental offices*, because she’s a *pediatric dentist Los Angeles* loves. With her new treatment are *new patients forms dental office* has you fill out. These *painless dentists* will use *sedation dentistry*, also known as *sleep dentistry*, for *orthodontist prices* you can afford. You should make sure you have the *best dental insurance*, such as good *kids dental insurance*, as well as *orthodontic insurance* or *orthodontics insurance*. Best of all, Dr. Doe teaches you *professional tooth cleaning*, specifically *professional teeth cleaning at home*, even *professional dental cleaning at home*!
This great dentist for your children is definitely the best place you can possibly in the whole region of Los Angeles. So don’t waste a second! Check out her dental clinic and get whatever free/low cost/cheap/emergency dental care that you need! And don’t forget to check out the braces children cheap for kids braces prices costs!