I Dreamed a Dream...

This week has been kind of a crazy one. Jacob and I have been bombarded with illness, several nights of terrible sleep, crazy anxiety, and one awkward driver's license suspension thanks to some confusion about paperwork needed from us. Rawr.

Hopefully all these issues will be resolved by the end of the week, but in the meantime, the awesome well-thought-out blog I intended to have for today didn't get written. So you get a selection out of my dream blog for 2014! Not all of them, partly because there are a lot and partly because I am in the process of compiling all my blogged dreams into a purchasable ebook and I want you to have some new stuff to read if you purchase it. :-)

So consider these a teaser for when I finish pulling the book together. As well as just a fun midweek blog post.

* * *

I dreamed that I signed onto Facebook and got this message from the site:
"We have polled your Facebook friends and thought you should know the results.
1. 90% of your friends think your name is a silly teenage name.
2. 200 of your friends think that if you put on a little lipstick, you would then have the body of a Greek goddess."

* * *

I dreamed my school friend Josh was leading worship at my Illinois home church, but the entire worship service consisted of one song that had 45 verses. I was printing the bulletin and told him I couldn't print all 45 verses, so he told me just to print 22. Every chorus ended with him singing, "But we will still DOMINATE!" and on the word "dominate" he'd scream/growl the word like it was a heavy metal song.

* * *

I dreamed that on American Idol, Jennifer Lopez was being stalked and harrassed by an ex-husband of hers, so the other judges decided to help her. One of them started calling someone and said, "This guy is absolutely guaranteed to call her crazy. He's the giraffe noise guy."

Then the show cut to a shot of her husband waking up on a raft in the middle of the ocean. The other judges had put him there while he was sleeping. There was a little curtain around his bed, and when he pulled it aside to look out on the rest of the raft, there was a guy there making chicken noises at him.

* * *

I dreamed Bekah and I were writing a two-party comedy TV show/movie about Sleeping Beauty, but we had only written the first part of it and we needed money to film it, so we decided to go pitch it to Wil Wheaton and ask him to produce it and put it on Geek & Sundry.

We wandered into his office, where he was sitting at the Tabletop table and talking to a friend of his, so we waited patiently for him to be done. He was talking about how he wanted to put some money toward a new table for his show Tabletop, where he plays tabletop games with nerdy celebrities. He said he needed the new table because the current one was too small to fit five people.

"But, you know," he said to me suddenly, "you remember that time we did the show with that guy you went to school with? He was our fifth person and we couldn't fit him at the table, so we put him out in the hall with a folding chair and a laptop and just had him Skype in." I remembered seeing that episode, and we all agreed that that was a great technological way to solve the problem.

* * *

I dreamed I was watching some old version of Romeo and Juliet, in which they meet each other because they both show up at Juliet's aunt's house at the same time. Romeo burst into very flowery poetry, including a section where he referred to himself as "an ant-man," because Juliet made him feel small, but she thought it meant he was Ant Man the superhero and got all excited.

* * *

I dreamed Jacob and I were hanging out at HU before going to see a play there, and we ran into Jay (the head of the theater department at the school), who was on his way to the arts building. He started excitedly telling me about when they were doing load-in for the show, and he chased one of the students around with a stuffed black fish. He thought this was hilarious, though I didn't quite get it and just nodded politely.

Jacob made some kind of jokey comment about the fish being a REAL fish that cost $25, but the way he phrased it sounded like he didn't understand what Jay was talking about. Apparently this was really offensive, because Jay just stared at him with a look of extreme disgust on his face, then turned around and walked into the building without saying a word.

* * *

I dreamed my college roommate Laura was selling her car, so I told her I'd buy it. It had about 200,000 miles on it, and she told me she wanted to ask for a dollar a mile. I said this sounded fair and paid her $200,000 for it.