Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Movie Reviews by Jessie (Part 7)

I just realized I hadn't written anything in this series since last July... and there are more Jessie reviews to dissect! Sadly, the pool is not infinite, but we should definitely be able to squeeze some more blogs out of them. So let's get going!
Swiss Family Robinson - i still have this movie and i remember i loved it because i always wondered what it would be like to be stranded on an island and this will show me what to do first hand if i ever encount any sord of tradgedy on a boat that they would have to strap me on to because i am afraid of sharks, tsunamis, and also shipwrecks ( i mean look at the TITANIC. ) there is nothin g very wonderful about being in a boat and i think that it is about time people realized that. sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really enjoy when Jessie suddenly discovers she has a vendetta she needs to air. In this case, she's pretty bitter about boats because of the Titanic.
The Phantom of the Opera - surprisingly i loved the newer version of the phantom of the opera and considering that it is based on this movie i think that it will be quite thrilling and just as much as a "omg i can not believe that that just happened ' movie.
This is about the 1989 version, which was the inspiration for the new version, apparently, rather than, say, the 1900s novel we thought the new one was based on. Also, considering they probably have roughly the same plot, is she really going to be astounded by its plot twists the second time around?
L'Auberge Espagnole - well this movie has a franish( french and spanish title mixed) title and that definietly gives it a little bit of cool points.
...Nope. Nope, that's all French. TAKE AWAY THE COOL POINTS!
Air America - well it looks ok but i mean mel gibson is a good actor and i will give him the benefit of the dought but every actor has a movie that blows. anyway they do not really give alot of info on this movie and so i will have to give it a......................
Considering how really really really supportive Jessie usually is of people who have 1) been in movies, and 2) been in movies with other people who have been in movies, this is practically a slap in Mel Gibson's face.
The Muppet Movie - well i mean i used to think that they were real but it is really stupid now to me.
A heartbreaking story about loss of innocence.
Anastasia (1956) - the disney version is s omuch better but when i did some research on anastasia i realized that it did not have very much truth to the real eventsthat happened. this one looks like it would tell facts closer to the real account.
What? Rasputin and his talking white bat didn't really unleash demonic magic on Anastasia and her family? HISTORY IS LAME.
Windtalkers - well nicholas cage is a good actor and i have this mvie but i am not sure what it is about. iam pretty sure that it is a war movie about him going through battle. well it is good and it has a decent amount of fighting in it. also it has a few funny parts in it and what i canremember was really good.
...Was she sleeping during this movie? She seems to be really uncertain about the plot. Even whether it involved war or not.
Picture Perfect - a chick flick and i live for chick flicks i mean what girl does not. well i can think of a few but anyway yea and i must complimate the actors/actresses involved on the cast list.
Complimate away. Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Bacon especially crave complimates.
Cats - well i have heard that it is good but sadly i have yet to experience a musiccal and want my first one to be a romance or comedy so unfort. i have no idea.
She's saving herself for the perfect rom com musical? That's... an unusual goal.
Don Juan DeMarco - well i think that the title is french and if it is i think that it is so interesting. i love anything french or british - i mean so far - anyway it sounds like something you would hear from too british gentlemen talking about how stupid the tourists are. also i love romances and this is french( i think ) so i will give it the benefit of the dought!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Oh, I'm sure my British friends can confirm that British gentlemen stand around all day saying French things like, "Tourists! Don Juan DeMarco!"

I also really enjoy the non-connectedness of the thoughts "I love romances and this is French."
Heidi - shirley temple was such a good actress in the OLD DAYS. i do not think that many people give old movies a chance and i love them but i am not sure that this one would be good because i never liked the book HEIDI but i think that she is so adorable when her curls bounce in the air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mostly just wanted to point out the bit about curls bouncing in the air and make some connection between that and Skye, but I couldn't think of how to phrase it so I gave up and posted this without a coherent joke.
Lassie - well i have heard many good things about this movie and i think it is an OLD family classic but i think i would like it. anyway i think that it is is a sad sord of really family movie so i think that i would like watching it alone or with my family so either way is fine with me.
"This FAMILY movie is for FAMILIES and about FAMILIES! But, whatever, I can watch it alone."
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - it looks really cartoon like and i am not really into all the animation they think is a good thing they are putting in these movies.
These crazy movie producers, filling up their movies with animation and stuff like that! I mean, really!


  1. Yo, Jessie...Fox made the animated Anastasia, not Disney. (And yes, history is lame.)

    1. Yeah, I nearly commented on that... but that's a common enough mistake that I figured I wouldn't single Jessie out for it. I have enough friends who think Disney made that version. Sigh.

  2. Wait... so she reviews movies... BEFORE she watches them? There MAY have been one or two in there she had actually seen, but...I just... I can't go back and read it again to check. I just. Can't.

    1. She DOES. It gets especially confusing when she gives 5-star ratings to movies she hasn't seen and follows it up with a review that says things like "This is probably just ok, I mean it probably won't be very good but I will give it..............."