Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Seriously, ChaCha, What?

I had been watching the latest episode of Alphas, saw Zak Penn listed as co-creator, and suddenly felt like that name was familiar. I wondered if there was anything else I knew him from. The following text exchange ensued.

Me: Who is Zak Penn?

ChaCha: Zak Krug is on Facebook. Facebook gives people the power to share and makes the world more open and connected.

Me: What has Zak Penn done on TV?

ChaCha: Could you please specify who "She" is? If you do that ChaCha would love to tell you what "she" has done on TV!

Me: Tell me what Zak Penn has done on TV.

ChaCha: The institutions that are responsible for local government within states are typical town,... For more go to [a link]

Me: Wow. Clearly nobody's even reading my question. You people suck sometimes. This is not difficult to google. Look up Zak Penn on IMDb & tell me about him.

ChaCha: KeVontae Hairlson attends Henderson County's High School and plays basketball on the basketball team. He wears the number 4.

Me: I. Hate. You.

ChaCha: I don't hate you. Thank you for using ChaCha!

Me: Then answer my question. Who is Zak Penn?

ChaCha: We found millions of A's but not to that Q.

Me: Zak Penn

ChaCha: Zak Penn wrote, and directed Incident at Loch Ness, and The Grand. He also co-wrote the script for X-Men: The Last Stand.

Me: THANK YOU. See, that wasn't so difficult. You just have to not be dumb.

ChaCha: Thank you. Can I help you with another question?

Me: HAHAHAHA. Nope. I'm done asking you guys for answers. It shouldn't take me 8 tries to get a simple answer.

ChaCha: Then ask how do you do this math problem

Me: LOL LOL whaaat? That response didn't even make sense. That was so dumb I can't even tell if you're a lazy expeditor or a horrible automatic search.

ChaCha: Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi! All Hail Chacha!

(Yeah, there's no close quote on it. The joke loses some effect if the people are hailing ChaCha...)

Me: ...OK, this is all going on my blog as proof of how much you suck.

ChaCha: I'm sorry those services aren't provided by ChaCha and are illegal in the State I work in. Thanks for asking though.

Me: ...You live someplace where blogs are illegal?

ChaCha: I personally don't blog at webblog but if you're interesting in blogging about something you're passionate about, give it a try!

Wow. Just... wow. Seriously, I wouldn't think people are even working on these questions anymore, except for the fact that the answers are *so* bad that an automatic search would almost certainly do better. It takes a human to screw up this terribly.