The Crazy Wil Wheaton Dream

I watched an episode of Big Bang Theory featuring Evil Wil Wheaton right before I took a nap. This is what ensued.

I dreamed I had a poster of Wil Wheaton and this girl I didn't recognize, but she was apparently another geek culture person. They were wearing all these expensive clothes with little arrows telling you how much everything cost. I then found out that they did a one-time off-Broadway show where the two of them started off in their underwear with piles of random (not always there) clothes sitting on chairs, and between the two of them, they had to try to put on as many of them as they could. This was a huge hit and they decided to make it into a TV show, where the finale would be the actual show and the episodes leading up to it would be a documentary showing how they got the show going.

Turns out it wasn't just them on stage for this show, they had a whole bunch of animal friends who frolicked around the stage as well. But these weren't just like... animal performers. These animals were apparently trained professionals in various careers. It was rather like a heist movie, where they go around looking for the best safecracker.

I tuned into the episode where they were gathering a spider. They had already collected, I believe, a monkey, a hippo, and an octopus (which wandered around on land and they for some reason fitted it with a red sweater), and now they needed a spider.

They chose this terrifying desert spider that was about the size of my fist, and how did they get its attention to get it to join their team? Wil Wheaton went near it, and it didn't seem interested in him, so he ran away from it, and it RAN AFTER HIM and CAUGHT UP WITH HIM while the voiceover droned on about how it was a super fast spider. NO KIDDING. It then tackled him by jumping on him and sitting on his chest to keep him from getting up.

At this point the announcer says, "This is one of the few spiders where, if it sits on you, you can look into its eyes and it looks back in yours." It's true, this spider had enormous red eyes, but that did NOT mean I wanted to look into them.

They went on to tell more things the spider could do - for example, I think it sang - and how that would be helpful on the show, but I'm afraid I've forgotten a large portion of that.

If it weren't for the terrifying spider, I might watch this show. Wil Wheaton's cool. Other nerd culture people I don't know are cool. Tiny theatrical productions are cool. And the premise is SO STRANGE I would probably be watching it to figure out how these extremely smart animals got to be show producers and stuff. And hopefully at the very end it would tell us why the octopus had to wear a sweater.