Elephant jokes appeal to the absurd side of my sense of humor. According to Wikipedia:
An elephant joke is a joke, almost always an absurd riddle or conundrum and often a sequence of such, that involves an elephant. Elephant jokes were a fad in the 1960s, with many people constructing large numbers of them according to a set formula. Sometimes they involve parodies or puns.Elephant jokes are frequently told in groups, where each joke builds upon expectations of the previous one. And for some reason they just amuse me greatly. So I figured I'd share a few of my favorites. You will either love them or just... not understand their appeal at all. And either is a fair response.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
From stamping out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From stamping out burning ducks.
Why do elephants have flat, round feet?
To make jumping on water-lilies easier.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephant coming over the hill?
Here comes the elephant over the hill.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephant coming over the hill with dark glasses on?
Nothing. He didn't recognize him.
What is the difference between an elephant and a plum?
Elephants are grey, plums are purple.
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over a hill?
Here come the plums. Jane is colorblind.
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No, because it works.
How did Tarzan die?
Picking cherries.
How do you know there's an elephant hiding under your bed?
Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.
Why do elephants buy yellow shoes in bulk?
So they can save on shipping.
Why do elephants wear yellow shoes?
So you can't see them when they float upside down in the custard.
How many elephants do you fit into a mini-cooper?
Two in the front and two in the back.
How can you tell if there's an elephant in the fridge?
The custard looks slightly different.
How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge?
They giggle when the light turns on.
How can you tell there are three elephants in your fridge?
It doesn't close all the way.
How can you tell there are four elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini-cooper parked out front.
How do you fit an elephant in the fridge?
Open the fridge door, put the elephant in, and close the fridge door.
How do you fit a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the fridge door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the fridge door.
Which one will win a 200m race, an elephant or a giraffe?
The elephant, because the giraffe is in the fridge.
Why is an elephant big, gray, and bumpy?
If it was smooth, white, and round it would be an aspirin.
Three elephants jump out of an airplane. Two of them hit land, one hits water...What do you get?
Buhdum Tss!
How does an elephant get up a tree?
They stand on a seed and wait for it to grow?
How does an elephant get out of a tree?
They sit on a leaf and wait until Autumn.
How do you catch an elephant with a phone booth and a bike?
You go to the savanna and leave the phone booth out in the open, with its door open, close to a path used by elephants. Then you hide nearby with the bike. When an elephant comes along, you ring the bell on the bike. The elephant will think the phone is ringing, and will go inside the booth to answer. Close the door quickly, and you have your elephant.
Why did the elephant step on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Why was Dumbo so sad?
He was irrelephant.
Why was Bambi so sad?
His mother was murdered.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a red elephant?
Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a green elephant?
Paint it red, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a purple elephant?
Purple elephants don't exist, silly.
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