Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Top 5, Bottom 5: 2012

Hey, guys! Turns out I have finally seen enough movies from 2012 to feel justified doing a top 5, bottom 5 for the year! I mean, I've only seen 21 of them, but, hey, at least now I can list 10 movies from the year and still have some that are left out!

Top 5:
1. The Cabin in the Woods (#157). The only movie I've seen from the year so far that really wowed me. One of the most original horror movies I've ever seen. So excellent.
2. Pitch Perfect (#293). Stop looking at me like that. I am perfectly happy to admit it's not a good movie, but it was exactly as much fun as I'd hoped it would be. And I'm such a sucker for people singing and dancing. Even cheesy pop music.
3. The Dictator (#392). Much funnier than I anticipated. I didn't know if Sacha Baron Cohen's shtick would work when it was so heavily scripted, but this was an extremely satisfying watch.
4. The Hunger Games (#394). An excellent adaptation of a fascinating book series.
5. Rise of the Guardians (#402). Easily the best animated flick of the year (and I've seen most of them), this was a very moving story and I am quite sad that it got ignored by the Oscar crew.

Bottom 5:
1. The Odd Life of Timothy Green (#1472). This movie was pretty terrible. It wasted an excellent premise on ridiculous dialogue, painfully awkward scenarios, and melodramatic acting.
2. The Amazing Spider-Man (#1064). Andrew Garfield wins everything, but the story here is just not entertaining at all.
3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (#1010). Probably would have gotten a much higher ranking had it not seriously depressed me after I watched it...
4. Ted (#935). Not nearly as funny as it should have been, although also not as painful as it could have been. So... yeah, right about in the middle of my chart.
5. The Woman in Black (#917). Pretty ridiculous movie, but I loved the ending, and so it keeps winning against equally mediocre movies.

In conclusion, I seriously need to watch some more movies from 2012. I strongly love one and strongly hate one, and everything else is kind of meh in the middle. I'm going to the AMC Best Picture marathon weekends in February, so I'm hoping that will give me some more to love. (Although last year's didn't. I liked exactly 2 of last year's nominees. Sigh.)

Monday, January 28, 2013

Fun With Search Keywords!

I haven't looked at the search keywords used to reach my site in awhile... so here goes!

tiny stonehenge
Absolutely the funniest part of This Is Spinal Tap, IMHO.

are introverts emotionally distant?
Ah. Now this is a bit of a pet peeve for me. I once had someone tell me that I was an introvert because I was emotionally distant. I said, "No, I like to be physically distant from people. It's not the same thing." She responded, "Right, but you want to be physically distant because you're emotionally distant." Introverts may appear emotionally distant, but get to know an introvert one-on-one and they're just as likely as anyone else to open up emotionally.

(Incidentally, I told a group of introverted friends about that weird conversation when it happened. One person said I should have responded, "Introverts don't like to be emotionally distant. They're just selective about who they get close to, and obviously YOU WERE NOT CHOSEN." Which is absolutely the correct answer.)

famous people in musical theatre
This could mean two different things - it could mean people who are famous for being in musical theater, such as Bernadette Peters, Norbert Leo Butz, and Sherie Rene Scott. Or it could mean already-famous people who have also done musical theater, such as Hugh Jackman, Neil Patrick Harris, and Daniel Radcliffe. Either way, there are some options.

marius singing a lullaby
I am still fascinated by all the hits I get asking about Marius' lullaby. I mean, if anyone's going to search for that, it'll bring them here... I'm just surprised that many people are searching for it in that context at all.

misconceptions on introverts
This probably led them to one of my old posts, Introvert Misconceptions. However, if you're looking for other articles on this, I just discovered the excellent post 10 Myths About Introverts.

therapy introvert pouting
This search fascinated me so much I tried searching for it myself, hoping there was a weird theory that introverts who wanted to be extroverts could have pouting therapy. Or is it about introverts who are pouting because they have to be in therapy? Or introverts who need to go therapy because they pout and they don't want to pout anymore so they ask a therapist to help them? I have no idea what this person was looking for, but I don't think my site helped them much.

francis chan introvert
Well, he's definitely not one. Or if he is, he probably thinks he shouldn't be. Either way, he did some (probably unintentional) introvert-shaming in Crazy Love, which made me crazy and not in a love kind of way.

joco sad songs
Oh, there are so many and they are all awesome. I suggest Space Doggity, I Crush Everything, When You Go, Today With Your Wife, Christmas Is Interesting, I Hate California, Make You Cry, Blue Sunny Day and Redshirt.

my top best horror movie 2012
Well, mine was Cabin in the Woods, although I've only seen 18 movies total from 2012 and only two were horror (well, four if you count Tim Burton's movies from the year). Flickchart lists 2012's top horror movies as Cabin the Woods, Prometheus, ParaNorman, Frankenweenie and The Woman in Black.

character traits of peter appleton
If you mean the character from the movie The Majestic, he undergoes a major character change throughout the movie and spends much of it taking on the character traits of the person he thinks he is, so that's hard to pin down.
If you mean the American baseball player, scout, and manager... I dunno. His Wikipedia page makes him sound nice, I guess.

disney songs about death
That's a fun one. Let's see. There aren't all that many that I can think of, although there are plenty of songs about loss. Be Prepared is about planning to kill someone. So is The Mob Song. Are there any that aren't villainous? Surely there must be. But I can't think of any. If anyone else comes up with one, please chime in in the comments.

mouth man superhero
Well, that no doubt led them to this silly post about a hypothetical superhero whose mouth makes things de-age, but I have no idea what they were actually looking for. (If you search "mouth man superhero" sans quotation marks on Google, my blog is one of the only things that come up...)

movie used up all the emotion love
I don't think I've ever seen a movie that used up all my emotion love. I still have plenty of love to go around even after watching movies.

emotional purity between girl and guy
And that led them to my blog about why the Christian emotional purity message has some good intentions behind it but messed me the heck up in high school.

anti love songs 2012
My anti-love mix for 2012 can be found here. My anti-love mix for 2013 will be posted Wednesday, February 13 of this year, just in time for Valentine's Day.

dizzy like a fox the haunting
I didn't even remember what this one could mean, so I found the blog it pointed them to: my micro-review of The Haunting, where one of my comments is: "'Dizzy like a fox'? Are foxes known for being particularly dizzy?" Somebody else must have been equally confused by this idiom.

introvert greet
Fun fact: introverts greet others with "Hello," "Hi," or a handshake, almost like they were normal people!

OK, I suppose there could be introvert-specific greetings, but it's not like introverts don't like people and will be openly sad to see them all the time. Generally, introverts do greet people just the same as everyone else does.

Friday, January 25, 2013

5 Awesome Songs In a Post I Totally Planned to Write

Oh! It's Friday. I'm supposed to post something on Fridays.


Here, have five awesome songs.

1. "Stars" from Les Mis as it should be sung. Curse you, Russell Crowe, you ruined the best song in the show!

2. "Moses" from Singin' in the Rain, one of the most awesome unnecessary dance sequences ever put on film.

3. "Apocalyptic Love Song" by Groovelily, my favorite band that nobody listens to but me.

4. "As Time Goes By" from Casablanca, a song from my favorite movie.

5. "Michael Jackson Medley" by Sam Tsui, an oldie but goodie from my favorite YouTube singer.

Enjoy your weekend - hopefully I'll have a real post for you on Monday!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Musical Spotlight: Company

I haven't done one of these in ages, so I decided to focus on a musical I was sure I had covered before, mostly because it's one of my very, very favorite musicals with so many incredible songs. This musical is Stephen Sondheim's Company, first on Broadway in 1970. My favorite recording was released on DVD and is the one I'll be using clips from: the 2006 Broadway revival with Raul Esparza as the central character, Bobby. (There's also a 2011 cast starring Neil Patrick Harris that has been released on DVD, but if you're new to the play, avoid the urge to watch that star-studded cast first. The singing and acting are both sub-par when compared to the incredible work of the 2006 performers.)

Company is a concept musical. Rather than following a strictly linear plot, it features a series of vignettes and songs based around a concept - in this case, the concept of relationships and marriage. The central character is Bobby, a single man whose friends are all married and he's beginning to wonder if he's ready to pursue that himself.

So, here are my very favorite songs from the show, in the order in which they appear.

1. Company
The title song is also the opening number. It sets the tone for the show's theme (what does it mean to share your life with other people?) and introduces us to Bobby and his friends. Bobby is the most popular party guest, and as we learn throughout the rest of the musical, this is largely because he's a bit of a chameleon, willing to shift himself to be entertaining and charming to the people he's with without ever truly revealing anything of himself. Musically, this song always feels very warm to me... it feels like company and companionship and feeling comfortable with other people and liking to have them around.

Late nights, quick bites, party games,
Deep talks, long walks, telephone calls.
Thoughts shared, souls bared, private names,
All those photos up on the walls

2. Getting Married Today
This song gets my vote for being the most difficult song to sing in all of musical theaterdom, and though there are many videos of various celebrities performing it on YouTube (Madeline Kahn and Carol Burnett both are entertaining), very few of them keep to the original tempo... which is the one in this video. Kudos to Heather Laws. The character is Amy, who is supposed to get married today but is freaking out a little bit. Or, well, maybe more than a little bit. The song delivers its lyrics at an incredible pace, but if you can manage to process the lyrics as they're sung, they're very funny and very clever, in true Sondheim fashion.

Look, I didn't wanna have to tell you, but I may be coming 
Down with Hepatitis, and I think I'm gonna faint, 
So if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily,
But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral?

3. Marry Me a Little
This song was written for the show, removed from the show, and then added back in, and boy, am I glad it's back in the show. It's the Act I closer, and it's an incredible song about half-commitment (especially when contrasted with my #5, Being Alive). Bobby likes the romantic ideal of marriage, but it's clear that he expects it to have little to no bearing on how his life functions as it is.

We'll look not too deep, we'll go not too far
We won't have to give up a thing, we'll stay as we are

4. The Ladies Who Lunch
I actually prefer the 2011 cast version of this song. Barbara Walsh is phenomenal in the 2006 cast, but Patti LuPone, an actress I generally don't like at all, just knocks it out of the park. This character is Joanne, cynical and jaded and on her third husband. At this point in the show she and Bobby are out drinking, when she launches into this angry, sad tirade which has become one of Sondheim's most famous numbers ever.

And here's to the girls who just watch--
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.

5. Being Alive
And this song.

Where to begin?

This song is easily one of my top 5 showtunes of all time. (Maybe even top 4. I was trying to think what would go above it and I could only think of 3 obvious ones.)

Bobby has seen his friends' marriages, many of which seem to be broken and dysfunctional, and he doesn't want to open himself up to that kind of hurt. As evidenced in Marry Me a Little, he doesn't want to open himself up too deeply at all, because it hurts. Here, in the closing number of the show, he works through this on his own, lists all the things that make relationships painful and unpleasant... and then it morphs into him realizing that he really wants something, anything, to touch him that deeply, to force him to be more than he is, to push him to care about anything. I am in love with Raul Esparza's version of this, where you can see him resisting, resisting, resisting the idea... and then, being totally open and honest with himself for the very first time, admitting that the pain might be worth it.

Somebody, hold me too close,
Somebody, hurt me too deep,
Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive.

Even if you are not a musical fan, I highly suggest you check this show out. (The 2006 cast is available on Netflix Instant.) It's a thought-provoking show with fascinating, intelligent songs, a clever book, and, with this particular cast anyway, some absolutely incredible acting. It's my very favorite Stephen Sondheim musical and one of my top 5 musicals, period. It's about time I gave it its due on my blog.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Movie Plot Translation Game Answers

Way to go, all of you who guessed! Here are the final answers:

#100 - Lady and the Tramp - The city and the romantic stories of the Spaniel Dog Buster to local conditions. (1950s children's movie)

#200 - Ed Wood - Supporters of the film, as well as other stories, the Director of the friends and participants. (1990s biopic)

#300 - A Single Man - It was like a death in years later, while English teacher in Los Angeles-class. (2000s drama)

#400 - Inherit the Wind - In 1925 the lawyer, the defendant, two teacher training. Young Chang. (1960s courtroomdrama)

#500 - Goodfellas - Hengli · Shang, his fellow mafia hierarchy.(1990s crime movie)

#600 - Synecdoche, New York - The view from their work, and the Director of the women in the life of the material. When you're trying to do the New York metropolitan area, in the framework of the work resources. (2000s drama)

#700 - Strictly Ballroom - I decided to take the risk that comes with new forms of dance routine. (1990s comedy)

#800 - Stand and Deliver - José Luis Santander, success, inspiration, history teachers, students learn math. (1980s drama)
That one is especially entertaining because that is NOT the character's name.

#900 - Single White Female - If she looked like her, leaving huge (lover. White, there is simply no other source of information), in the right place publicit publishers. Before your fears as a woman looking for a resident nature new skills. (1990s thriller)

#1000 - The Secret of NIMH - Save the sick son, mice, rats, enough deep relationships and helps for the establishment of the colony. (1980s children's movie)

#1100 - Last of the Red Hot Lovers - For example, in one day in the week flat middle-age parents and empty it every day. If you want ready many times, just to know, it is very difficult and complicated than it is. (1970s comedy/drama based on a play - probably nobody has ever seen this movie)

#1200 - Sideways - At least two people in the middle ages, but for the good of décevante Californie last week, as part of a boat on. (2000s drama... it is NOT set in the middle ages)

#1300 - Dumb & Dumber - But very stupid two good friends. (1990s comedy)

#1400 - 27 Dresses - If the bride is 27, a young woman who, along with his brother, this time with his desire to hide her husband's idea. (2000s romantic comedy)

#1500 - Charlotte's Web - Is kept and promoting gifted Spider Pig slaughter. (1970s children's movie)

#1600 - National Velvet - A Jockey former, a young, tired, on Mustang, but is génie de lottery. (1940s sports-y drama)

#1700 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Pour a cup of angels, ordered the Nautilus, Nemo is a mysterious wave of the war and the special nature of the men's. (1950s adventure)

#1800 - License to Wed - If you would like to be married in his Church gave the priest a few exhausting marriage. (2000s romantic comedy)

Leave any guesses in the comments - on Friday I will post hints for any of the unguessed ones, and then the following Monday I will reveal all the answers!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Movie Plot Translation Game: Hints

A fair amount of the movies from Wednesday's blog post were guessed, but for the ones that weren't, I figured I'd post slightly easier versions of them, run through the translator fewer times, in the hopes that a couple more might be guessed.

#200 - Stories about his amazing true story of friends and actors and terrible film director. (1990s biopic)

#300 - Professor of English, one year after the sudden death of her friend, unable to cope with their roles in Los Angeles in 1960. (2000s drama)

#500 - Henry · Hill and his friends through the hierarchy of the mafia how to update. (1990s crime movie)

#600 - Director and his work and his life, while he tried to make a copy of the items in the warehouse with the size of New York City, the struggle of women in the context of his new drama. (2000s drama)

#900 - Rent a room of white advertising information (only if it is on the left side instead of his girlfriend), it seems strange that all of the candidates. And so that all levels are displayed correctly. New housing is the Sri Lankan army. (1990s thriller)
(Well, the first part is a bit closer to the movie, but the latter half is far more confusing.)

#1100 - The average age of art's daily and weekly quest throughout the afternoon roaming the room was empty. Has made several attempts to attract, I know it is complicated and difficult, than you can imagine. (1970s comedy/drama based on a play)

#1200 - Both men came into the little in the middle ages, as they are displayed, but disappointed, participation in the California wine country, a week-long trip, because when it comes to a boat trip. (2000s drama... it is NOT set in the middle ages)

#1800 - The little problem during the marriage and see if you want to take on the Church. (2000s romantic comedy)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Movie Plot Translation Game

I just recently added my 1800th movie to Flickchart, so I figured it was time to do another edition of last July's Movie Plot Translation Game, in which I took every 100th movie on my Flickchart, looked up the IMDb summary, ran it through Bad Translator a couple times, and encouraged people to guess what it was. I'm sure the movies have switched up a bit in my chart, so they should all be different than last year's picks. I will give you the decade and the genre, as before, to help you figure out what they are.

This round seems much harder than the previous one in July... but we'll see how many you can guess!

#100 - The city and the romantic stories of the Spaniel Dog Buster to local conditions. (1950s children's movie)

#200 - Supporters of the film, as well as other stories, the Director of the friends and participants. (1990s biopic)

#300 - It was like a death in years later, while English teacher in Los Angeles-class. (2000s drama)

#400 - In 1925 the lawyer, the defendant, two teacher training. Young Chang. (1960s courtroomdrama)

#500 - Hengli · Shang, his fellow mafia hierarchy.(1990s crime movie)

#600 - The view from their work, and the Director of the women in the life of the material. When you're trying to do the New York metropolitan area, in the framework of the work resources. (2000s drama)

#700 - I decided to take the risk that comes with new forms of dance routine. (1990s comedy)

#800 - José Luis Santander, success, inspiration, history teachers, students learn math. (1980s drama)
That one is especially entertaining because that is NOT the character's name.

#900 - If she looked like her, leaving huge (lover. White, there is simply no other source of information), in the right place publicit publishers. Before your fears as a woman looking for a resident nature new skills. (1990s thriller)

#1000 - Save the sick son, mice, rats, enough deep relationships and helps for the establishment of the colony. (1980s children's movie)

#1100 - For example, in one day in the week flat middle-age parents and empty it every day. If you want ready many times, just to know, it is very difficult and complicated than it is. (1970s comedy/drama based on a play - probably nobody has ever seen this movie)

#1200 - At least two people in the middle ages, but for the good of décevante Californie last week, as part of a boat on. (2000s drama... it is NOT set in the middle ages)

#1300 - But very stupid two good friends. (1990s comedy)

#1400 - If the bride is 27, a young woman who, along with his brother, this time with his desire to hide her husband's idea. (2000s romantic comedy)

#1500 - Is kept and promoting gifted Spider Pig slaughter. (1970s children's movie)

#1600 - A Jockey former, a young, tired, on Mustang, but is génie de lottery. (1940s sports-y drama)

#1700 - Pour a cup of angels, ordered the Nautilus, Nemo is a mysterious wave of the war and the special nature of the men's. (1950s adventure)

#1800 - If you would like to be married in his Church gave the priest a few exhausting marriage. (2000s romantic comedy)

Leave any guesses in the comments - on Friday I will post hints for any of the unguessed ones, and then the following Monday I will reveal all the answers!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Top 5, Bottom 5: Cyberpunk/Tech Noir

I watched Looper a couple weeks ago, which was the 20th film I'd watched in the Flickchart genre "cyberpunk/tech noir." This is a pretty specific genre I've now seen 20 films in, so I figured it was time for a top 5, bottom 5 (out of 1815 movies on my Flickchart as of right now).

Top 5:
1. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001, #103). One of my very favorite movies. It completely breaks me.
2. The Matrix (1999, #186). An excellent action movie with a wonderfully interesting plot.
3. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991, #270). I like the sequel even better than the original movie, though it's been ages since I saw it.
4. The City of Lost Children (1995, #329). A haunting, visually stunning foreign film that I fell in love with the first time I saw it. It is definitely rated too low on this list.
5. Looper (2012, #482). Really solid movie... I'm such a sucker for interesting stories about time travel.

Bottom 5:
1. The Matrix Revolutions (2003, #1718). Talk about an unsatisfying conclusion to the series...
2. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003, #1551). It's not a coincidence that both the movies at the bottom are third in a series. I almost always hate thirds.
3. Soylent Green (1973, #1478). I know it's a classic sci-fi, but I don't find this entertaining in the least. Especially if you already know how it ends.
4. The Thirteenth Floor (1999, #1407). I'm not sure I have anything actually against this movie... I just don't remember it at all, so clearly it didn't make an impact.
5. Metropolis (1927, #1380). This movie is fine. I just don't like it nearly as much as I like the other movies above it. Heh.

Friday, January 11, 2013

A Sentimental Post About Saying Goodbye

Today I am leaving the South Carolina home I have shared with my roommates for the past eight months and temporarily moving back to Illinois with my family, in the hopes of saving up some money before I get married in July. (This also puts me a bit closer to my fiance - we'd only be 5 hours apart instead of 12.)

Once I make a decision, I tend to get antsy about putting it off. If I've decided something, I'd rather just go through with it right away and have it done. So last week I mulled over the idea of moving back in with the family, I decided for sure this past Sunday, and I'm renting a car and leaving today.

I've moved around and traveled a fair amount, switching houses, rooms, states, schools, workplaces, and there's always something simultaneously exciting and sad about moving on and saying goodbye.

Of the pros this time, I get to spend time with my family, be closer to Jacob, save some money, and get away from the bizarre, bizarre interactions I tend to get in the south.

But I will certainly miss a lot of this.

If you live someplace for awhile, you get comfortable there, and even if it's not your favorite place you've ever lived, you can look back on it fondly, even the weird memories.

Like the toilet that appeared to be sinking into the bathroom floor.

Or the dozens and dozens of ladybugs that gathered around my window during the day and disappeared to who knows where at nighttime.

Or the front porch that constantly seemed shaky, and then one of my roommates finally fell through it.

Or the creepy shed where, we joked, Slender Man lived. (Although it seemed like much less of a joke when I was lying on my bed at 3 in the morning and could see the shed through my window, which had no blinds.)

Most of all, though, I will miss my roommates. I moved out to South Carolina with three of them to start with, and then a fourth joined us a few months ago. I have loved living with them and spending time with them and doing all the things we have gotten to do together. They understand my introversion so they don't take it personally when I spend days in my room without speaking to them, but they enjoy my company so when I come out of the room and hang out with them, we have so much fun. Although I'm pretty sure Sarah's the only one who actually reads my blog, I wanted to say thank you for the past several months they've given me.

So thank you to:

Josh S., who I really didn't know all that well when I moved out, but who I discovered is funny, smart, has great taste in pop culture, is a very generous friend, and is someone I can always count on if I need an intellectually stimulating conversation.

Josh H., who serenaded me with his guitar, looked for movies we could watch together, always asked for my opinions (even when I didn't have any to offer) and spent time with me both being silly and being serious. Wherever life takes him, I'm confident it's going to be awesome.

Sarah, who was always willing to go on adventures with me on our days off, watched TV and musicals with me, and was always there to listen and offer suggestions whenever I was going through a rough time... and was perfectly willing to leave me alone, no questions asked, whenever that was what I needed.

Lisa, who suggested this whole crazy arrangement in the first place, and even though our schedules rarely aligned for us to be able to spend time together, when they did, I cherished it, as she poured such love and wisdom into me. I can only hope I was able to do to the same for her.

I truly love you guys. I will see you all at my wedding, if not before, and I look forward to seeing where God directs each of you.

And now... onward.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Best of 2012: Movies

A quick guide to the movies I saw for the first time in 2012, sorted by their star rating on my blog.

I saw 130 new movies this year. Let's start off with the ones I hated and move up from there:

Half a Star:
The Evil Dead (1981) - Really got zero enjoyment out of this one.

One Star:
Bye Bye Birdie (1963) - A bizarre adaptation skewering a pretty decent musical.
Mr. Baseball (1992) - Nothing original about this at all.
Loving Annabelle (2006) - Clearly trying to say something deep, but just comes off as pretentious and cliche.
Deliverance (1972) - Didn't capture my attention at all.
Saw (2004) - Not because it was too gory, but because it was boring.
Faces (1968) - This movie felt like it was 10 hours long.
The World Is Not Enough (1999) - I can't even remember what happened in this movie.

One and a Half Stars:
Nell (1994) - Laughably sentimental and cliched.
The Revengers' Comedies (1998) - Just kind of... sat there.
Dracula (1931) - I admire its legacy, but it pales in comparison to the book and its sort-of adaptation Nosferatu.
Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Nice ending, but agonizingly slow and with very little character relatability.
2046 (2004) - Never gripped me.
Ulysses (1967) - What did I even watch?
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) - Really awkward, but Andrew Garfield is delightful.
Happy Gilmore (1996) - If anyone but Adam Sandler had been in this, it would've been pretty funny.

Two Stars:
The Hurt Locker (2008) - One or two great scenes, a lot of meandering.
The Yellow Handkerchief (2008) - This movie wanted to be great... It was just bland.
Footloose (2011) - The original is superior in every way, but there are a couple fun dances.
Win Win (2011) - Paul Giamatti should be more interesting than this.
Gladiator (2000) - Joaquin Phoenix was fascinating. Couldn't have cared less about Russell Crowe.
Superbad (2007) - More needlessly gross than I generally care for in my humor.
Fish Tank (2009) - Interesting characters not actually doing anything.
Hulk (2003) - This story is ridiculous, but I kind of enjoyed myself.
Independence Day (1996) - I kept zoning out, but what I saw was fine.
The Fifth Element (1997) - I don't get the hype.
The Money Pit (1986) - Not nearly as many laughs as there needed to be.

Two and a Half Stars:
Moneyball (2011) - I keep forgetting this was nominated. It's fine, but not great.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) - One or two clever laughs, but most gags go on far too long.
The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009) - Overly dramatic at times, but kind of fun.
Spellbound (1945) - The love story here is much too disturbing to be overlooked as it is.
Meet Joe Black (1998) - Love the play... this version is missing the spark.
The Score (2001) - Oh, it's fine.
Bad Teacher (2011) - I liked this more than I thought I would, but it's still pretty meh.
Cape Fear (1991) - Apparently Scorsese thought the original just wasn't over-the-top enough...
Marathon Man (1976) - Too many silly moments, but it is fun.
The Descendants (2011) - The other one I keep forgetting was nominated. It's solid and forgettable.
Interstate 60: Episodes of the Road (2002) - A bizarre, surreal, ridiculous movie that has a strange charm to it, though it shouldn't.
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) - I was expecting and hoping for so much more...
The Help (2011) - I'm just not that interested in stories about women. Women in movies are never anyone I can relate to.
Stage Door Canteen (1943) - Fascinating as a pop culture time capsule.
Cracks (2009) - Really boring until about halfway through, when it suddenly kicks into gear and goes crazy.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) - Nothing wrong with this movie. I just didn't care.

Three Stars:
One, Two, Three (1961) - A mediocre Billy Wilder overall with a great final scene.
The Ring (2002) - The final scene makes it all worth it.
Rushmore (1998) - It's pretty funny, I guess.
Marie Antoinette (2006) - This movie worked for me in a way I really wouldn't have expected.
21 Jump Street (2012) - Surprisingly entertaining.
In Time (2011) - Awesome premise, didn't work out quite as well as I'd have hoped.
Smiles of a Summer Night (1955) - Light and fluffy Bergman is fun.
A Dangerous Method (2011) - Fine, but I was hoping for more psychology and less romantic drama.
City Lights (1931) - Solid Chaplin.
Bowling For Columbine (2002) - I don't remember what my beef was with this, but I feel like I had one...
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) - Excellent second half, meandering first half.
Brave (2012) - Even Pixar's weaker efforts are better than most animated flicks.
Les Miserables (2012) - Two great performances, incredible visuals, a lot of effort... but unfortunately also a lot of terrible singing.
The Player (1992) - Never blew me away, but kept my attention all the way through.
Thor (2011) - Kenneth Branagh brought a very Shakespearean feel to this movie and I loved that a lot.
The Edge of Heaven (2007) - Admirable rather than enjoyable.
Anonymous (2011) - Very silly but pretty entertaining.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2011) - A second watch could move this further up on my list. Interesting.
War Horse (2011) - This movie is more emotionally manipulative than it has any right to be, but it somehow worked on me.
The Woman in Black (2012) - Mediocre horror story with suddenly incredible ending.
It's Kind of a Funny Story (2010) - Zach Galifinakis NEEDS to do more serious movies.
Office Space (1999) - I feel this would be funnier if I watched it with friends.
The Battle of Algiers (1966) - I don't even remember this, to be honest. Probably this ranking is too high.
The Seventh Seal (1957) - Interesting images that stuck with me, but I don't get it.
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - The most cheerful superhero movie I've seen in awhile. Refreshing.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) - Not my favorite Tarantino, but as always he has style.
In the Mood For Love (2000) - Meh, it was fine.

Three and a Half Stars:
The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012) - A charming and entertaining effort from Aardman Animation.
Gentleman's Agreement (1947) - A well-acted movie that deserved the awards it won.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - A fun movie, despite the fact that there doesn't seem to be much Batman in it...
Evil Dead II (1987) - 10 times sillier than the first one and therefore 10 times more fun.
My Date with Drew (2004) - The likeable protagonist is the best reason to watch this movie.
Saving Private Ryan (1998) - Effective, although now at the end of the year I can't remember why.
The Departed (2006) - Good acting all around in a genre of movie I don't like.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966) - Pretty much exactly what I said for The Departed.
The Duellists (1977) - Stretched out forever, but the basic idea was fascinating and the ending superb.
The Band Wagon (1953) - A couple of great song-and-dance sequences, a lot of weird ones.
Drive (2011) - Ryan Gosling is the main reason to watch this movie, although it's decent on its own.
Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) - I was impressed with this movie, but I think I was supposed to get more out of it.
Hugo (2011) - A visually beautiful movie with a pretty good story.
Bonnie and Clyde (1967) - The titular characters are fascinating to watch.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) - I think I liked it better than the 2009 original, but my goodness, what a complicated plot.
Bridesmaids (2011) - Best female-centered comedy I have perhaps ever seen.
Dark Shadows (2012) - Completely campy... and such a blast.
De-Lovely (2004) - Much lovelier music than I expected, leading to a very entertaining musical, although it does go on quite long.
My Week With Marilyn (2011) - Much more interesting than most biopics.
Mars Attacks! (1996) - This movie is ridiculous enough to keep me from loving it, but I sure did like it a lot.
The Tree of Life (2011) - It's much too long and difficult to follow for me, storywise, but moments of it are absolutely gorgeous.
Scotland, Pa. (2001) - I remember liking this movie, but to be very honest, I can't remember much of it now.

Four Stars:
Nosferatu (1922) - Most terrifying vampire movie I've ever seen.
The Artist (2011) - Lovely homage to silent cinema.
Beetlejuice (1988) - Totally not what I expected, but much funnier.
Trainspotting (1996) - Every moment of this movie is interesting.
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011) - Some absolutely superb acting, but what else can you expect, given the caliber of the cast?
The Blair Witch Project (1999) - Supremely effective horror flick, easily the best of the found footage flicks.
Army of Darkness (1992) - Abandons all hope of being a genuine horror movie and becomes a parody instead.
50/50 (2011) - Very moving and genuine portrayal of a story that's been told many times before.
Rock of Ages (2012) - Enjoyable enough, but Tom Cruise is what gives this movie the rating it has.
The Great Dictator (1940) - Easily my favorite Chaplin thus far, though it's silent like his most famous ones.
Jake's Women (1996) - Quick-paced, enjoyable script by Neil Simon and good performances.
Carnage (2011) - Wonderful adaptation of the Tony Award-winning play from a few years back.
Contagion (2011) - Quite a good disease movie, nice and suspenseful.
Bernie (2012) - Easily the best movie Jack Black has ever done, IMHO.
Ordet (1955) - A very moving film about belief and religion, even if the ending is a bit of a stretch.
The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Albert Hall (2012) - Now this is what Phantom should sound like. Take that, Gerard Butler.
Rise of the Guardians (2012) - Surprisingly touching, given that it's a kids' movie.
Short Cuts (1993) - Nearly every story in this ensemble flick is fascinating.
Mrs. Brown (1997) - Well acted and well scripted, though at the end of the year I do feel the 4-star rating might have been a little high.
The Exorcist (1973) - Not scary so much as haunting and tragic, but great with that.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006) - So much funnier than I thought it would ever be.
Nowhere Boy (2009) - Strong emotional thread carried it all the way on this one.
Young Adult (2011) - Funny and entertaining, takes all the cliches about "going home again" stories and spins them around.
The Dictator (2012) - One or two moments that really didn't work, but overall, extremely funny.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) - Terrifying, chilling, and fascinating.
Never Let Me Go (2010) - Great premise with some very good acting, even from Keira Knightley, who I usually hate.
The Hunger Games (2012) - Extremely solid adaptation of the first book.

My top 10 I saw in 2012 (in order from least awesome to most awesome)

10. Four Lions (2010) - A dark comedy that would have been even higher on this list if I wasn't so ambivalent about the ending.

9. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011) - The little kid is a wonderful character and a joy to watch, even if the story gets ridiculous at times.

8. My Neighbor Totoro (1988) - My favorite Miyazaki so far. Perfect blend of whimsy and realism for me.

7. Take Shelter (2011) - Michael Shannon is an incredible actor, and he is the life behind this movie.

6. Breaking the Waves (1996) - A hard movie to watch, but one that greatly impacted me on an emotional level.

5. Submarine (2010) - The best quirky indie young adult movie I've seen in a couple of years.

4. Inglourious Basterds (2009) - Breathtakingly original and absolutely fascinating every step of the way. I didn't begrudge it its long running time at all.

3. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) - I did not in the least expect to like this movie, much less love it, but somehow nearly every joke works for me.

2. The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - Quite possibly the best horror movie I've ever seen, and certainly the best movie made in 2012.

1. Vanilla Sky (2001) - I do want to see Abre los ojos, but in the meantime, I was completely blown away by this movie. It's so very haunting in its story and its visuals, and I couldn't stop watching.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Best of 2012: Facebook

Figured while I'm still getting back into the swing of things with blogging (this month is turning out to be not any less busy than previous ones, but I'm going to try), I would post a couple of best-of-2012 posts. Today: my Facebook posts that had the most likes/comments/combination thereof, plus the ones that didn't make the cut but that I really liked.

Top 10 of the Year (According to My Friends)

10. A voicemail from Jacob last night, about the name of a road: "It's not spelled like Samson from the Bible, it's spelled with a P." Just as I was snarkily thinking to myself, "Psamson?" he continued, "And I don't mean that it has a silent P at the beginning."
These are the moments when I think, "Yup, we're totally meant to be together."

9. Me: I lost my voice.
Seth: Oh. Did you make a deal with Ursula too?
The answer is yes. Little known fact: I used to be a mermaid.

8. As soon as I plugged in and opened my laptop at the library, the old man near me pointed at it and asked, "What's that?"
Me: "You mean my computer?"
Him: "Oh, it's a computer? It's a... toaster?"
Me: "What?"
Him: "The name on the back."
Me: "Oh. It's a Toshiba. It's a good computer."
Him: "Oh, Toshiba. Toshiiiiiiiba. Tooooshiiiiiibaaaa."
He chanted "Toshiba" for another 30 seconds or so, then got up and left.

7. Guys guys guys! In 24 hours I will be on a plane that will take me to Jacob! (Not to an airport. Directly to him. Wherever he happens to be standing at the time, that's where the plane lets me off. It's pretty cool. Hopefully he'll be standing outside, because it would be unfortunate if the plane had to land in a building.

6. Turns out, if I am left alone for several hours, I start singing everything I'm doing. "I'm gonna put this blind dowwwwwn, so I won't see anything creepy through the windowwwwww..." Apparently I am now Marshall Eriksen.

5. I just bought 26 movies for $28. Win.

4. It has now been six months since Jacob and I made our relationship official (after our two weeks of secret kinda-sorta dating unofficially). SIX MONTHS. Time moves so fast. It's been a wonderful time, filled with prayer walks, silly hypotheticals, encouraging conversations, and a fantastic stuffed animal monster. Now on we go to the next six.

3. Uh. So, I graduate today. WHAT?

2. I love that I am in Texas with my wonderful Internet sister Dani.
I love that this Saturday I get to be there for the start of her happily ever after.
I love that in something like 7 months, I get to make that same commitment with the love of my life.
I love that the boy I'm committing to dyes pies black just because he can and wants to name his puppy Lumpy Space Princess.
I love that I've spent the last 6 months of my life rooming with some of the best people in the world.
I love that I have such wise, supportive parents and such fun siblings.
I think there is no good reason for me to complain about anything right now. It has been a month of thanksgiving indeed.

(Right after my status changed to engaged.)
1. A status to answer all the obligatory questions:
-The proposal - It was actually supposed to happen the next day. Heh. We were going to go into town together and he was going to plan out something cute and romantic, but the night before we had been praying together like we do every night, and when we were done he decided he just couldn't wait any more and proposed right then. I knew it was coming at some point (we'd discussed that last weekend - that "wonderful talk time with Jacob" status from Saturday night was about that) but I definitely didn't expect it then, so it was a wonderful surprise.
-The ring - I have one, I love it, pictures hopefully coming soon.
-The date - Right now we're looking at next summer, but no specific day set yet, so you will all just have to leave every single summer date open until we decide. :-P

My Personal Favorites
(In no particular order)

A friend's FB status asked, "What is the first word that comes to mind when you hear 'springtime'?" I had to be honest and say "Hitler." Now I have that song stuck in my head *and* I sound like a terrible person.

It always throws me off when someone quotes a Bible verse on their Facebook status but doesn't put quotation marks around it. Several of my friends are suddenly telling me that they are my Lord and my God, and it just isn't true.

Random old guy walks into McDonald's.
Him: "Hello."
Me (taking out my earphones): "Uh, hi."
Him: "How are you doing?"
Me: "I'm fine. How are you?"
Him: "Are you married?"
Me: "...No?"
Him: "You might do real good over at the automobile place!"
Me: "...Yeah?"
He walks off.

Joel: You slapped me!
Nathan: You were petting the chocolate. I HAD to slap you!
I have missed my family.

It's just Seth and me hanging out at home tonight. I walked into the living room where he was and yelled, "PARTY TIME, youngest brother!" He solemnly replies, "Well, to start the party, we could both mention some movies we saw recently - it doesn't matter if the other person has seen them or not - and then we talk about them." Yup, he's my brother all right.

I checked in at the Charleston airport, and "Hannah R Megill" has become "Hannahr Megill" on my boarding pass. I am a pirate!

Me: You're my crazy brother. How do you feel about that?
Seth: I don't feel good about it.
Me: You'd rather be the sane one?
Seth: Yes. (A pause, then he suddenly lunges at me, yelling) GRLARLRBREAERADRAR!
Me: ...Well, I think you've just given up any chance of being the sane one.

While I was making my peanut butter sandwich, I accidentally dropped the jar of peanut butter, which landed on my plate and flipped my sandwich into the air. The sandwich then landed perfectly back on the plate. That was kind of awesome.

This is what it looks like when introverts and extroverts fight:
Dave: There sure are a lot of books about introverts.
Randy: Well, what else are they going to do? Go outside?
Ticia: That's because the extroverts don't know how to read.
Ticia: *zing*
Ticia: Just kidding. They just never sit still long enough to write a book.

(During a phone conversation yesterday)
Jacob: I'm cold.
Me: I'm not. I'm warm.
Me: That was a fight. Right there. You might have missed it because it went by so fast.
Jacob: Oh. Well, you won.
And that was enough dramatic conflict for one day.

(In the middle of a phone conversation)
Jacob: Oh, dear. Oh, no. That's not OK.
Me: What's going on?
Jacob: A giant robot came out of nowhere. It is REALLY big. And it is trying to kill me.
Me: ...I assume you're playing some sort of game, but that hasn't actually been stated yet.

Yesterday I learned that with Mobile Email, I can "scan through all emails and only read the ones I want to read." Well, that would be a nice change from the email service I use now, which forcibly opens all my emails for me and refuses to move on until I take a comprehension test to prove I've actually read them. Not a fan.

And this, children, is why you should NOT just click "change" on everything when you spell check a document. I just read a student-written play featuring the inspiring line, "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be airtight."

Me: (Looking at the reflection in the TV) The letters on your blanket are upside down.
Jacob: That's because it's a reflection.
Me: ...I don't think that's how reflections work.
Jacob: That's because you don't understand time.
Me: I don't think reflections have anything to do with time.
Jacob: That's because you don't understand time!
This is a very confusing argument. I think I lost.
This, btw, has turned into his immediate answer whenever I argue with something he says. "Well, you just think that because you don't understand time."

Sometimes I get something to eat or drink and bring it back to my room while I watch movies, but then I forget about it. Then an hour later, I'm hungry or thirsty and voila! There's already something there. It's like having a butler, but better, because having a bad memory is free!

Some people behind me in the library were speaking something that sounded like Chinese, so I started listening more closely because foreign languages are awesome. Turns out, it was just the most redneck English ever. Talk about disappointing.

Last night's dream: Vince Vaughn was wandering around my house being super annoying and hyperactive, and then he ate like 4 child sedatives shaped like candy. At first I was worried about that, but then I was so annoyed with how rambunctious he was that I just went ahead and fed him more sedatives until he fell asleep on the couch. Yet another reason I should not have children.

This McDonald's bag says, "Wake up to breakfast and the great taste of scratch made biscuits." Uh. If I wake up to the *taste* of something, it means someone is feeding me in my sleep. NOT okay, McDonald's! Stop force feeding me biscuits while I sleep!

I am so glad nobody's around to watch the dumb stuff I do sometimes. Like prancing over to the microwave chanting, "Let's stir! Let's stir!"

So I tried to wash my hair with body wash instead of shampoo. I realized my mistake, rinsed it out, and rewashed my hair with actual shampoo, but since my body wash and shampoo don't match, my hair now has TWO DIFFERENT SMELLS, OH MY. However, this will certainly throw off any vengeful dogs who are tracking my scent to kill me. Win.

CVS has 5 different kind of Snickers bars you can buy. It's like a Snickers bar bar.

Weird date conversation of the night: The implications of being able to reverse time with your mouth. For example, any food you put in your mouth would get younger and younger until it eventually reverted back into its original form. So you'd have to eat fairly quickly if you didn't want your hamburger to turn into wheat and raw cow. (Other things this could impact in a disturbing way: being sick, eating raisins, and sucking your thumb.) I LOVE that I have a boyfriend who will discuss such ridiculous things with me.

"O Princess! Thou art a piteous stranger, and I shall open up thy veins and stick a coconut in 'em while I wait." An example of the stellar poetry quoted at me in a dream last night. This is the only bit I can remember.

Me: I felt like you were lying. Or hyperbolizing. Hyperbolating? What is the verb for "hyperbole"?
Jacob: Hyperbolerbing.
(I WISH IT WAS. But it turns out to be hyperbolizing.)

Twice yesterday I said "funeral" when I meant to say "graduation." Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?

The main guy in Gladiator just bravely and inspirationally said, "Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear." That statement is truer but less interesting than what I at first heard: "Nothing happens to anyone that he is not given by the wish of a bear."

I asked ChaCha who invented salsa. They said: "Salsa is not easily defined. Who invented salsa? The Cubans, Puerto Ricans?" They gave me salsa philosophy...

Jacob: Oh, look, donkeys! Or maybe mules. I can't actually tell the difference between donkeys and mules.
Me: That's OK. That's not one of the skills I require of you, so you don't need to learn.
Jacob: But what if someone else does? YOU'RE SO SELFISH!
I can't believe I didn't think of all the other people who need him to differentiate between mules and donkeys.

I walked into the bathroom at work and a guy was in there putting in a new air freshener.
Guy: "You need to wee-wee?"
Me: "Uh, yes. Is that ok?"
Guy: "Just give me a second. Wash your hands or something before you pee-pee."
Me: "Uh... ok."
(I do so.)
Guy: "Make sure and use three towels. You can't be too careful."
Me: "...Ok."
Seriously, is EVERYONE in this state crazy?

Sentynel: My left arm has been aching like I've been lifting heavy things with it for about the last couple of hours.
Sentynel: But I'm not doing anything unusual with it.
Me: Maybe your bones in your left arm have gotten heavier, so moving it at all takes extra effort.
Me: Sometimes that just happens.
Sentynel: I'd just like to note I'm really glad you're a theatre teacher and not, say, a science teacher.

Today Jacob and I discussed what we would do if hummingbirds tried to open up his head and eat his brain bit by bit while he was on the phone with me, so he'd slowly get dumber and dumber as we talked. Other couples talk about these things too, right?

(Playing Last Word. The subject is "Things you fold," the letter is W.)
Elizabeth: Water rags!
Me: ...What's a water rag?
Elizabeth: It's a rag for water.
Me: What do you DO with a water rag?
Rebekah: You fold it!

Some people might assume these two dollar bills I found in the dryer were the result of me forgetting to check my pants pockets before I did my laundry. I choose to believe my dorm appliances are growing money.

I just spoke to a roll of toilet paper and affectionately called it "little buddy." I am clearly not entirely awake yet.

I present a family story from the past, retold in RinkChat and now here:
Once, when I was a very silly young child, I decided to started calling our canner the "hot patch boiling pot." Somehow this caught on. Not only did my siblings all start calling it this, but my parents did too. It was only a few years ago that Bethany found out that that wasn't its real name. I kind of wish she'd never found out, because it would have been hilarious to see her try to purchase one as an adult. "Excuse me, can you tell me where the hot patch boiling pots are?"

I love that if you look closely enough at a sim's computer, they apparently write novels using a spreadsheet program.

I cried all over my phone and needed to clean the screen, so I cleaned it off with a moist tissue... which I moistened with my tears. It worked perfectly. This is revolutionary. If Taylor Swift had only cleaned her guitar with her own tears, there would no longer be teardrops on it and she wouldn't have to write songs about it.

(Sarah had accidentally put her makeup bag away when she wasn't done.)
Me: You can only put on one makeup.
Sarah: No! I want to put on two makeups!
Me: Putting on two makeups makes you a trollop! OK, that's a sentence I'll probably never say again.
(She is now trying to trick me into saying it again. But I won't!)

Sometimes you think you don't have a spoon to eat yogurt with. Then you remember you have a spoon! That, my friends, is the definition of happiness.

Most recent dream: Jacob and I went out on a date, but he invited 6 other people along without telling me. I got *really* mad and yelled at him, "WE ARE NOW ONLY 83% IN A RELATIONSHIP!" (When I told Lisa this dream, she asked, "Is that like in Sims?" It very well might be.)

There was a book in the HU bookstore titled, "When Your Hormones Go Haywire." Turned out to be a menopause book (because that's super applicable to a college campus?) but the best part was I thought it said, "When Your Mormons Go Haywire." Yeah. Gotta watch out for those Mormons. Sometimes they just COMPLETELY LOSE THEIR MINDS. I'm watching you, Jennie and Ticia.

Last night I was eating as I drove home. I saw something bizarre (I don't even remember what) and decided I just HAD to say something snarky out loud to myself. I nearly choked. Moral of the story: Witty remarks can potentially kill you.

I had a dream that I bought 45 movies from a video rental store going out of business. Then I realized: 1) I didn't even like most of these movies, 2) I had paid like $50 a movie, and 3) they were all on VHS, and I don't own a VCR. Dream Hannah does not make wise spending choices.

Ticia: I just got done watching Bleak House. Good show.
Paul: Is that like regular House, but the patient always dies?

LaZorra: Sam, the Human Gungle Jym.
Sentynel: LOL, Gungle Jym.
LaZorra: Gungle, yes. Gungle Jym.
Sam: Jungle gym?
LaZorra: ....
LaZorra: Holy crap, my brain has fallen out.

Today I forgot the past tense of "fight." I tried "fighted" and "fitten" before I remembered.

The other ad in the bank said, "How can I get my banking to go?" My advice: Try dropping subtle hints that you're tired.

Me, telling someone about the last week of work: "Actually, it was good. We were very reproductive. Uh. I mean productive." Those words are not the same.

When my mind can't decide between singing an existent song and one that I made up, apparently this happens: "And I think it's gonna be a long, long time, til touchdown brings me 'round again to find, that's so much mac & cheese."

The song I most consistently identify in less than 2 seconds on Songpop? "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Randy: I'm watching a monk sing Opera
LaZorra: I just glanced at the buffer and saw, "Randy: I'm watching Monk sing Opera."
LaZorra: Not only did I think you meant the Tony Shalhoub character, but the capitalization made me think first of the web browser.
* LaZorra watches House sing Firefox.

Last night one of our training PowerPoints said, "Apologies usually start with 'I'm sorry.'" Is that a South Carolina thing? Because I was always told to start my apologies with "A penny saved is a penny earned."

Last night I dreamed about a poor, poor girl named Sasha Thistle who had a lisp.

I just hit myself in the face trying to cover a sneeze. That's what I get for trying to be polite and hygienic.

"Someday My Prince Will Come" just played on iTunes, and I was once again struck by how silly Snow White is. The dwarfs eagerly request details: "Was he strong and handsome? Was he big and tall?" and Snow White dreamily responds, "There's nobody like him anywhere at all." Sure, because THAT answers their questions.

As soon as my Songs for a Rainy Day album started playing, it started raining harder. When the song stopped, it let up. Do I control the weather with my iPod?

Me: I need to shower RIGHT NOW so I can then go to sleep.

The clock on my iPod says, "9:35 AM today." Well, that's no good. I want to know what time it'll be tomorrow!

Last night I dreamed I was dating a 2-year-old boy named Leonard McKae who worked in construction. *blink* My subconscious is weird and creepy sometimes.

During dinner, Lindsay, Amber and I watched some TV show about gangs. The gang members had terror-inspiring names like Popeye, Skinny Tommy, Frog, Sugar, and Big Scrappy. Do these sound tough to you guys?

I was telling Sam Lade about trying to convince Sarah that all movies ever were based on true events, and some of the justifications I had for this. His response: "You have a gift for coming up with utter bollocks that's more plausible than it really has any right to be." I am going to take that as a compliment.

Character on Daria: Wow, that was quite an onslaught.
Jacob (sadly, to me): I wish he had said "ocelot."
ME TOO. Come to think of it, Daria hardly EVER talks about ocelots. Why do I even watch this show?

I go into RinkChat and the first sentence I see is, "You only have one stomach. You can only be hungry. Cows, on the other hand, having four stomachs, can be hungrii." I love this place.

This website for a YouTube MP3 converter promises, "We literally have a ton of new features coming soon." How are they measuring the *weight* of their features?

There is a jumping spider with jiggling eyes somewhere in my room. I tried to kill it and it ran away. I'm never sleeping again.

That was the first appearance of the terrifying jiggly-eyed spider, but it was not the last:
I was just told in all seriousness that the jiggly-eyed spider was probably my grandparent's ghost checking on me. I admit, that had not crossed my mind.

Thanks to Mom, we now know the jiggly eyed spider, which reappeared today, is probably a "bold face jumping spider." Well, that totally reassures me.

Listening to music, and I heard the lyrics, "I can't wait until they hand me the bullet surprise." My thought process: "Bullet surprise? I don't know what that means. It sounds bad. I don't think I want to be handed one. Wait. I think that might actually have said 'Pulitzer prize.' Never mind."

Today I saw a car with the license plate "SHRD SLD." Shared slide? Shred salad? So hard solid? She rode a sled? Usher ad sold? So many possibilities.

Swype may take me a while to get the hang of, but I'm sure I'll future it out effectually.

Today Erika was telling me about a wrong number text she got from someone who then struck up a conversation with her, clearly looking for his future hottie. However, her text about this to me showed up in 2 parts, and I had forgotten about the first one by the time the second one came along, so suddenly I got a text from her that simply read: "ure hottie." I was flattered, but confused.

Lisa has expressed a wish to eat a billion SpaghettiO's. We have figured out that if she lives to be 100 and eats about 58 cans of SpaghettiO's every day until then, she will make it. So if anyone wants to start donating some so she can accomplish this goal, go for it.

Just read an interview where it mentioned all the training Zac Efron had to do to be able to "pay a Marine." Who knew you needed special training for that? What happens if you do it wrong?

(In the middle of a technical computer conversation I was mostly tuning out.)
Sentynel: I had my system start randomly freezing a while back, until I worked out by chance it was the wifi drivers playing up.
TalkingDog: Wifi drivers should not be allowed to cause freezing.
Me: LOL LOL. OK, my brain is gone.
Me: "Wifi drivers should not be allowed to cause freezing" became interpreted in my mind as "People who drive while using the Internet shouldn't be allow to change the weather and make it cold."
Sentynel: Well, I agree, meddling with the weather like that is just irresponsible.

This morning, one of the people I teach with was talking to the students about a particular note in a song from Into the Woods, and said that Sondheim "literally beats it to death." Sigh.

Sarah and I discovered last night that the most fun phrase to Swype was "malevolent management gentlemen." So, fair warning, that might make its way into every text I send now.

I just got the ChaCha question, "has an anima ever talked". It was listed as being in the "Sex Industry" category. *blink*

Some days, life is all, "Whoo! I wanna be your best friend!" And some days, life is all, "I am going to chop you up into little pieces." And some days, life doesn't say anything but gives you a piece of awesome chocolate cake and then karate chops you in the face, and you're not sure how to feel because hey, chocolate cake is still delicious but now your nose is broken.

The best part of my conversation with Jacob on my way home from work:
Him: Sorry I'm not very engaging right now.
Me: It's OK. I'm already engaged! HA HA HA HA HA! That is the best joke I have ever made.
Him: (Sadly) I know.

My favorite part of today's NaNo: My female lead accuses the male lead of robotically hiding his emotions, and he responds by letting out a screeching howl that sounds like an air raid siren. She asks him what in the world that emotion was an expression of, and this paragraph happens:
"It was a cry of mourning for Rebecca, for I have lost the one I love," he responded. "Have you never heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? That is a very close approximation of what it sounds like."
And THAT, people, is how you reach 50,000 words in the 30 days... you get very comfortable with writing ridiculous things.

(On our way home to South Carolina. Jacob is driving.)
Jacob: My eyes have been popping for FOREVER.
(I give him a look of horror, as eyes are not things that should be popping. Ever.)
Jacob: ...And by eyes, I mean ears.

Just got the following Facebook ad: "Need a Rabbi or Cantor for your interfaith wedding? Our free Jewish Clergy Referral Service can ease your planning stress." Well, that's good. I hadn't even thought about where to find a rabbi. Now that that's covered, I can just worry about the fact that Facebook knew my wedding was interfaith but I didn't. Does this mean Jacob is Jewish and didn't tell me? Or is it interfaith because neither one of us is Jewish but then we have a random rabbi? I have so much more to think about in terms of planning now...

When we were all between 6 and 8 years old, Nathan, Sara, Kyle and I wrote a song called "Baby, Time To Eat Your Hair" about someone who debates eating the hair of people around him but instead decide to eat his own instead. It was HILARIOUS when we were that age. Last night I dreamed that for my birthday, the three of them recorded it and released it as a radio single and it went to #1 on the charts. Dream America has even worse taste in music than real life America.

I had a dream last night that I was taking a chemistry class. The teacher wrote some page numbers on the board, told us to read that section in our textbooks, and write down 11 facts we learned about acids and bases. Problem was, that section of our textbooks was a story about a little girl who had a duck. Not a single mention of acids or bases in it. I wrote down 11 facts I learned about ducks, but the teacher yelled at me and failed me. Six months out of college and I'm STILL having education-based stress dreams...

Favorite call of the night: the woman who kept hearing people talk about a "browser" on her phone and worried it was something dangerous she had to turnoff. When I explained what a browser was, she said, "Oh! Like Facebook!"

Weird autocorrect of the night: "I feel I would have diabetes earlier if I ever wore jewelry." I meant I would have "discovered this," referring to my newly-discovered fidgety habit of putting my engagement ring in my mouth. But apparently my phone thinks wearing jewelry gives you diabetes. You have all been warned.

Facebook ad: "How to get the dream dress and have a wild time shopping for it too. Get the Guide Today!" Really? Is that most brides' biggest regret, that they got the dream dress but the shopping experience was just not wild enough?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Obligatory New Year's Post

Happy 2013, everyone! Here's to a more consistent blog posting schedule! (Well, not this week. I've been spending some much-needed time with the family and the fiancé, so probably no blog posting until next week. So I kind of broke my mini New Year's resolution already... but next week!)