Oh, How About Some Quotes?

Let's go with something light and entertaining today. I used to just keep lists of quotes that entertained me, from movies, TV shows, books, or real life. I haven't done that in awhile, but let's look at some of the ones I saved from 2011. I tried to pull out the ones that work best out of context, so you shouldn't *have* to know any of these shows or people to find them entertaining.

Quotes From Other Media

Avery: Quit? I never quit on anything in my life. I’m still in Girl Scouts. I have 9000 badges.
--30 Rock

Liz: That's my favorite drink! I keep a thermos of it by my toilet! You misheard me!
--30 Rock

(Amy is clearly very attracted to Penny's ex, but doesn't realize it yet.)
Amy: I’m flushed, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry, and I keep involuntarily saying, “Oh!”
Penny: We know what’s causing that, don’t we?
Amy: Well, obviously I have the flu along with sudden onset Tourette’s Syndrome.
--The Big Bang Theory

Shirley: Pulp Fiction? I saw it on an airplane once. It’s cute. It’s a 30-minute movie about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers, dancing, and the Bible.
--Community

Boss: We’ve had concerns about how you’re handling the traffic report.
Jane: I told you, I need to have creative input!
Boss: Sometimes you change the names of streets.
--Coupling

Wilma: She really does exist, this girlfriend?
Jeff: Oh, yes, she exists! She’s very much an existent person! She’s got tons of existence! Well, not TOO much existence. I don’t mean she’s huge or anything. She’s somewhere between completely imaginary and a truck.
--Coupling

(About Benjamin Gates from National Treasure)
He lives in a world where everyone who was ever famous achieved all of history as a hobby in between hiding things.
--Cracked.com

Doctor: We’re in a room.
Rory: What room?
Doctor: I don’t know! I haven’t memorized every room in the universe yet. I had yesterday off.
--Doctor Who

Today, I was in my building’s elevator. On one floor, a huge, weird looking guy with a bulldog got on. He yelled, "Sit!", which I did without hesitation. He was talking to his dog. He giggled for the remaining 10 floors.
--FML

(During a trial)
Bash: Judge Douglas, our D.A. would have you believe that our clients are merely two women with drop-dead legs who dance the night away for a living.
Franklin: These beautiful girls are successful entrepreneurs who built their rockin’ pole business from the ground up. They’re not running with the devil.
Janie: Your Honor, they’re using Van Halen song titles as a defense.
Franklin: You really got me.
--Franklin and Bash

Codex: I’m not stupid. I’m just ignorant about things I don’t RSS.
--The Guild

House: You took an oath. An oath to be cool. At least, that was the one I mumbled under my breath while everyone else was doing the boring one.
--House

Patient’s Wife: (About something the team found in their house) That’s impossible. You must have broken into the wrong house.
Thirteen: Then you have creepy neighbors, because there were pictures of you and your kids everywhere.
--House

Ben: We’re friends! You live here! I made you a sandwich that one time! …Or, rather, you made me a sandwich and I didn’t like it and I gave it back to you.

--Mr. Sunshine

Today, I learned that the smell of fresh cut grass is actually the grass sending out a chemical distress signal, So that smell is really your lawn screaming in agony. Mowing the yard just got so much better.
--MLIA

Yesterday, I came home late, and decided to take a shower. I didn't want to wake up my parents, so I tried to be really quiet and kept the water cold so I wouldn't wake them up. It wasn't until I spent the first few minutes shivering that I realized that taking a cold shower wasn't any quieter than a hot one.
--MLIA

Q: If you drained a pint of blood from a new born baby would the baby survive?
A: Google says that a newborn baby has only 1/2 pint (one cup) of blood total. This seems to vary by body weight and the amount apparently rises sharply in the first 24 hours after birth, but that's the gist.
So yes, draining twice the amount of blood it has would kill it.
--NaNoWriMo forums

Michael: I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I have only seen Antz.
--The Office

Virginia: It’s a bad idea for a baby to play with a doll that’s the same age as she is. She might think it’s unfriendly. Or dead.
--Raising Hope

This will end by this being the book that every house has in their living room on the coffee table, book shelf or half open on the couch. The book every pastor and synogogue will have on display across the world. I would be sadly dissapointed if this book didn’t sell 100 billion copies in the first 5 years.
Hmmm … 100 billion copies for a world population of 7 billion. So, each and every person in the world is going to buy 14 copies? Seems reasonable.
--Slushpile Hell

Dahlia: Your room’s so small. It’s even smaller than the rest of the house.
Tessa: That’s generally how it works. The rooms in the house are smaller than the house so they can fit them in. My dad’s an architect.
--Suburgatory

In this forum post, somebody asserts that all the great advances of history have been made by 1 in 100 billion people. Considering that 100 billion is a fair estimate of the total number of human beings who have ever been born, the assumption is probably unsound.
--TV Tropes

You know that button in the elevator with a fireman’s hat on it? Turns out that’s NOT the button you push to order a fireman’s hat.
--@ConanOBrien

This Valentine's, surprise her with a Christmas present.
--@serafinowicz

Most maligned group ever: well-groomed, dapper nerf herders.
--@BillCorbett

"God knew them in the womb." #JesusJuke I want to say to friends who brag about how long they've known about Mumford & Sons
--@jonacuff

Honestly, I don't mold NEARLY enough. #imoldenough
--@BillCorbett

Only in L.A.... I just saw a sign that said, “Welcome to Los Angeles.”
--@ConanOBrien

Just heard TV on the Radio on the radio on the Internet.
--@KaseyAnderson

I like big butts too, but I could probably lie about it if necessary.
--@KaseyAnderson

He was voiced by a black dude...so is it okay for Darth Vader to say the n-word? #thoughts
--@DonaldGlover

Meanwhile a lonely Lord Gaga waits at home on their estate, watching birds and supervising the gardeners.
--@BillCorbett

Obamacare is also an anagram for "A ear am cob" proving that Obama has poor grammar and is illogical. An ear of corn can't also be a cob!
--@StephenAtHome

Today is Friday? What? What was yesterday? What comes afterwards? If only there was someone who could answer these difficult questions!
--@Lord_Voldemort7

Wilfred: We’ll just stay here and play Battleship.
Ryan: You cheat at that too.
Wilfred: Battleships change position in the middle of a war, Ryan. It’s what they were designed to do!
--Wilfred

Stuff From If You Watch It Backwards, Which Pretty Much Was Only Around In 2011

If you watch Superman backwards, it is about a guy who flies around, putting people into precarious situations, then hiding.

If you watch Saw backwards, it is a truly amazing and touching story about one man providing countless limbs for the disabled.

If you watch Transformers backwards, it’s about a boy having to take his car back to the showroom after it turns out to be a robot.

If you watch Lord Of The Rings backwards, it’s about a midget that finds a cool ring in a volcano and then spends the rest of the films walking home.

If you watch 127 Hours backwards, it's a lovely film about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.

If you watch The Exorcist backwards it’s about a girl who’s very sick until she eats some pea soup and finally gets better.

If you watch Snow White backwards, it's about a woman's abusive boyfriend giving her the Kiss of Death and forcing her to live with dwarfs.

If you watch your birth backwards, you see your parents get really excited as the doctors push you into your mom, getting rid of you forever.

Quotes From People I Actually Know

(During a chat session)
Anna: john asked me if there were monkees on the streets in africa
Anna: and why did i spell that like the band
Anna: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: LOL LOL
Me: YES THE MONKEES HAVE ALL MOVED TO AFRICA
Me: THEY ROAM THE STREETS

Dad: I didn't know the Queen's name was Elizabeth.
Mom: Yes, Elizabeth II.
Dad: So we are living in Elizabethan England. Wait, no we are not, we are living in the United States!

Mom: Go upstairs and take a shower, and put on clean clothes, and hot water, and lots of clothes.

Elizabeth: You’re wearing a pink shirt!
Me: Uh, it’s purple.
Elizabeth: No, it’s red!

Elizabeth: Bekah was trying to ask me something in sign language and I thought she was saying "Open your heart to y'all" but she said "How are you?" Wow, I need to work on my sign language!

Mom: I love these tissues with Vicks in them. You should rub Vicks on your chest if you are congested.
Elizabeth: Wait, we're supposed to rub these tissues on our chest? Before or after we use them?

Heather: Today I said, "Thing I never screw up: Meat sauce. Thing I always screw up: Relationships. At least I succeed at the one that keeps me alive." Hannah Megill said, "I must now make a chick flick about a girl who has found true love but can't make meat sauce, so her soul is still empty."

Miles: Just got my binary math exam back, and I got a 101! Now I'm depressed, because that technically means I got a 5%....

Eric: Do you ever have your typewriter sitting on your desk in front of your monitor, and when you go to type on your computer you type on your typewriter instead? It can't be just me, can it?
Ross: Don't you just hate it when you try and play your iPod through your gramophone?

Carrie: The real drawback of winning a $900 guitar is that I'm scared to take it anywhere. I just KNOW that a baffling unexpected chain of events will lead directly to me scratching the finish a little. And then accidentally spilling battery acid on it and setting it on fire and dropping it off a ten-story building just as the world's first elephant race is due to start on the street below.

(In one of my education classes)
Tyler: When I took the Praxis, I was right on the Average/Great line. So I was borderline great.
Me: You should start introducing yourself to people like that. “Hi, I’m Tyler. I’m borderline great.”
Perry: With your students. “I am borderline great, so be prepared to be borderline amazed.”

Carrie: Today's best auto-generated tweet: "You should follow yourself. I am the original, I invented the fighter jet."
Me: That site's addictive. One of my favorites today read: "Watched Soylent Green for the hovercrafts." Which must have been disappointing, because there are no hovercrafts in Soylent Green.
Carrie: I watch everything for the hovercrafts. It makes life a constant disappointment.

Me: It kind of smells down here. Can we Febreze it?
(Joel goes into the laundry room and emerges a minute later.)
Joel: I can’t find any. Will Pam work?

Mom: Sometime next year, I will pass the point where I’ve spent half my life married. Dad’s already past that. He says it’s because he’s been married longer than I have.

Dad: Oh! There’s not any milk! I guess I’ll just leave my bowl of sugar out.
Me: You’re eating sugar and milk?
Dad: I meant my bowl of cereal.
Me: That didn’t sound like a healthy breakfast.

Mom (To Dad): I’m writing a post on “How to Make Your Husband Feel Special.” I can’t talk to you right now.

Bethany: I’ve been having trouble starting the car.
Me: Yeah?
Bethany: Yeah, I think I’m turning the key far enough, but then I put it in park and it won’t go anywhere.

Carrie: I really wish I was physically capable of tanning, just so that some day someone would say "Wow, you're tan from the sun" so I could reply "No, I'm Carrie from the Earth."

Dad: I keep referring to "existential phenomenology". Elizabeth calls it "exponential mah-nah-mah-nah".

Joshua: My six year old sister Lidya: "I remember this one time when Mom and I were in a place where there was no WiFi, and then We fell into a cactus." Um... I think this was a dream.

Dad: OK, I'm listening to Line 'Em Up by James Taylor and I don't understand the lyrics. What do they mean, anyone who knows?
Me: Do they seem to be about lining things up?
Dad: Well, the chorus is:
            Line 'em up
            Line 'em all up
            Line 'em up
            Line 'em all up
            Line 'em up
            Line 'em all up
            Line 'em up
            Line 'em all up
            So I guess that's a possibility :-)

Dad: (Playing a computer game) I’m just killing myself in various ways.
Mom: May I suggest you don’t do that?
Dad: OK, I’ll try to kill myself in the same way all the time.

(Jacob's joined me and Lisa on Turntable.fm, and is asking if there was anything in particular he should or shouldn’t play.)
Lisa: Don't! Pick anything your heart desires.
Jacob: I searched "anything your heart desires" and it came up with "touch of my woman", which is awkward.

Eric: Apparently, 200 friends is the minimum number that Facebook thinks one should have. I've been trimming my friend list little by little and finally got below 200 (from I think 450 or so). Now I have "Find Friends" links appearing everywhere. And now you know. Also, congrats on making the cut. You may print out this status update and frame it as proof that I either (1) value interaction with you, (2) haven't seen you on G+, or (3) haven't noticed you yet to delete you. Feel important now? You're welcome.
Me: It's going to suck for the people who fall into category 3, comment and say, "Yay, I made it!" and then immediately get deleted.
Eric: See, it's that kind of thinking that keeps you on my list!

Mom: One Praise was a sweet time of worship. Big thanks to all those who worked to put it together!! Now, if we only had heat in my bedroom I'd be just about as happy as a camper could be!!!
Me: Would a camper be happy if you had heat in your bedroom? Wouldn't a camper be sleeping outside anyway? :-P
Mom: Well, with the comfort that comes with our house, it's sort of LIKE sleeping outside, no matter what!
Dad: So we seem to have concluded that you're already as happy as a camper could be, but that with heat you'd be *happier* than a camper could be.
Mom: Can we JUST translate that to I'D LIKE HEAT IN MY BEDROOM!!!

Dad: Kate wanted our kids to get something for her, and then forgot what it was. Her new attempt: "Would you ... er ... go into my room and search for something that looks like I might want it, and bring it to me?"

(About AC/DC)
Elizabeth: It sounds like Donald Duck singing.

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 9

Recap: Morgan and Skye are going to Jamaica to kiss dolphins. Skye is still perfect, except it appears she believes in Atlantis.

Skye and Morgan get onto a van, where Skye, of course, knows the van driver and scolds him for his hurting ankle.

She moved close to his face. “I keep telling you, you’re too old to be sliding in to home plate. You need to find something else to do. Have you ever thought about chess?” 

Morgan tried not to laugh. 

“Chess?” the driver asked. 

“Yes, I can beat my father seven out of ten times.”

OK. Skye needs to do the following things if she wants to be worthy of all the praise she receives.

1) Learn about personal boundaries and not get all up in people's faces.
2) Stop bossing people around about how they should live their lives.
3) Figure out when it's appropriate to brag about how awesome she is at chess and when it's just a bizarre non sequitur.

All of this would have been acceptable in a normal child, but since the author clearly doesn't want Skye to be seen as a normal child, then, fine, we will judge her according to his ridiculously high standards. And she just keeps falling short.

Skye introduces herself to everyone on the van, and then tells Morgan the life story of their fellow van passenger Mrs. Scott, who is taking this cruise in memory of her husband, who always wanted to go on a cruise with her but never got around to it before he passed away.

Eventually the van stops and everyone hikes up Dunn's River Falls. Skye mocks Morgan for going so slowly. Because, again, she thinks the best way to help him face his fears is to mock his fearful reaction when he encounters them.

Eager Jamaicans were selling products they made, adding a little income to improve their simple lives.

Whoa. That's... a horribly condescending way to put that. "Income" is just a way to "improve their simple lives"? Um, in most places, income is kind of necessary to live a life at all, period. And, really, why would one need to justify anyone selling touristy products at a tourist destination anyway?

We are reminded again that Skye is The Best Person Ever because she purchases a handmade wristband from some Poor Simple Jamaican Children, even though, as the author helpfully tells us, "nothing was worth buying."

OK, now this section is where I get confused. They drove in their van, got out of the van, hiked up the waterfall, then at the top of the waterfall they get into a bus van (the book jumps back and forth between the two) to go to the "dolphin exhibit" - apparently the dolphins live a bus ride's distance from the top of a waterfall. That's not the confusing part, though. The confusing part is Mrs. Scott, who was there in her wheelchair on the van, and then there in her wheelchair on the bus at the top of the waterfall.

How did she get up there?

The author named the waterfall, so I googled it to see if it's handicap accessible, but, nope, it's not. The only way up is to hike up the slippery rocks, during which everyone has to hold hands so they don't slide. Not exactly a situation that lends itself to someone carrying a woman and her wheelchair all the way up there.

She just mysteriously appears in the bus at the top of the waterfall, and Skye takes charge from there, dismissing Carlos, who was going to help her around.

The elderly woman looked at Morgan, smiling. “Thank you, Child. I’d love for you to call me Grandma. You’re such a blessing, Dear.”

Ooer, the bad writing. It makes it seem like even though Skye's the one offering to help Mrs. Scott, it seems it's Morgan she really has her eye on, even insisting he call her Grandma.

Skye pushes her to the bridge overlooking the dolphin, then gives the old woman a hug, proclaiming it to be from Mrs. Scott's late husband. Then she lets Mrs. Scott borrow her camera, which COMPLETELY BLOWS MORGAN AWAY.

Morgan’s eyes were fixed on the scene. He was amazed by what he’d just witnessed. Rarely had he seen such an act of selflessness in his life.

When I told my friend Jennie about this, her response was, "Camera != kidney."

Seriously, if letting someone take pictures with your camera is the ultimate act of selflessness, everyone I know is a saint. Morgan seriously needs to make some new friends and get some perspective on what's a life-changing act of selflessness and what's just, ya know, sweet and friendly.

The man at the ticket booth asked, “One or two tickets?”

“Just one for the little girl here,” Morgan replied readily.

“Dad, you’re coming, too.”

He smiled at the man. “I’m Dad,” he offered with a guilty look.

"HA HA HA, I AM TOTALLY HER FATHER. I mean, you see how she called me Dad. And I am a grown man with her, so who else could I be but her father?" Way to not sound guilty and suspicious at all, Morgan.

A young man in the water spoke. “My name is Simon, and this is Kami. We’re going to teach you about these incredible dolphins, and show you some commands we use to control them.” For the next several minutes, they were taught how to handle the dolphins safely. They were also told what various hand commands meant.

Again, this is terrible writing that is so easy to fix. And if it was fixed, it wouldn't sound like Simon and Kami are just being taught for the first time how to control dolphins. Here, look how easy it is to fix this: "For the next several minutes, the audience were taught how to handle the dolphins safely." Ta-da! I did it in like two seconds. And now you can read that paragraph without getting confused.

So Skye gets to swim with the dolphins and kiss them. Morgan watches and is like, "Aww," but it's never stated whether he himself swims as well. I'd assume not, because of his whole paralyzing-fear-of-water thing, but there's not a scene where Skye makes fun of him for it, so maybe he does.

As they leave, Skye's dolphin GOES BALLISTIC and desperately tries to get her attention, and all the dolphin trainers are like, "She never does this! You must be special! You must be a mermaid!"

Morgan stood speechless. Who is this child? Is there anything normal about her? She remembers everyone’s name and all about them. She attracts people like a magnet wherever she goes. I mean, even to the point that a dolphin would exhibit extreme behavior after spending time with her because it didn’t want her to leave. Bewildered, he scratched his head.

Oh my gosh, just reveal that Skye is Jesus and be done with it.

They leave the dolphin exhibit, go back to get Skye's camera from Mrs. Scott, and then Skye chastises Morgan for looking sad.

“Well, look at you. The whole world is ours to explore and enjoy! There is no time to be sad.”

Cue music:

“Things happen in peoples’ lives that cause them to be sad. Nothing can be done about that. Nothing!” 

Everyone in the van had quieted. There were no distractions around them.

Except for the distraction of, ya know, everyone listening to them. I don't feel like Morgan is quite in the right mood to launch into a discussion of why he is sad.

Skye tells him that Jesus can fix his sadness. Morgan is skeptical. Skye accuses him of lacking faith.

“I may be young,” Skye said, “but I’m not dumb. My father calls me a spider web. I catch everything that comes my way. I know you and Mom can’t have babies. Remember what Jesus said about that?” 

Morgan felt a heaviness in his chest. “No, I don’t. What did Jesus say about it?” 

“He talked about living each day by faith,” Skye said. “You know, becoming like a child.”

First of all, I'm not sure what Bible verses she's referring to when she talks about "living each day by faith." The becoming like a child part is almost certainly referring to Matthew 18:1-5, where he talks about being like children, but it doesn't seem to be referencing faith at all, but humility. There are several other verses I can find that refer to living by faith, but none of them were said by Jesus himself, and none of them refer to children.

(Any of my more Bible-savvy friends who want to do a bit more digging can help me a bit with it.)

Secondly, no, this does not relate to his problem. You can't say, "Jesus talks about people not being able to have babies. You want to know what he says? HAVE FAITH," when that's not what Jesus was talking about at all. It's misleading, but, worse, it's blaming him for being sad about something that he can't control. He and his wife are grieving bad news they just discovered. My gosh, let them grieve. Tell them God will comfort them, tell them God grieves with them, but don't tell them that they're grieving because they lack faith. That's the least comforting advice ever.

Fortunately, Morgan doesn't really have to respond, because Skye makes them stop the bus again by the Poor Simple Jamaican Children and gives them everything she has. (Including towels she got from the ship, which I'm not entirely sure are hers to give, but whatever.) It's the first thing she's done that I find admirable.

Everyone saw this kind, caring act. Many shed a tear, including Morgan. An act of kindness by a little nine-year-old girl to the less fortunate humbled those who were blessed enough to see it.

If there was ever a moment to really gush over Skye, this would be it, but nope, we get a fairly subdued (for this book) description. Letting an old woman borrow your camera is an extremely rare act of selflessness, complimenting people makes you divinely gifted with compassion, and not playing video games means she lives every day to the fullest, but giving away everything you have on you to a group of poor kids, that's just a regular old simple "act of kindness."

I feel like their priorities are slightly off.

Skye gets back in the van and, exhausted by her kindness, falls asleep immediately.

And thus ends Chapter Nine.

(Chapter 10.)

Why Are Fictional Females So Boring?

This is an old blog that I wrote a year or two ago and just never got around to posting, but I figured, in light of the I Hate Strong Female Characters blog going around, I wanted to share a few similar thoughts on the matter.

As a woman, I generally am really, really bored by female characters in movies and TV.

There are two kinds of women in these stories:

1) The traditionally feminine woman who spends most of her time in pursuit of girly things (shopping, boys, fashion), or

2) The butt-kicking woman who spends most of her time fighting against the stereotypes! She argues back with the men in her life and shocks them because she is a WOMAN! She kills vampires better than anyone else and this shocks everyone because she is a WOMAN! She runs a television show and all the problems she deals with are because she is a WOMAN!

And neither of those have anything to do with me, because for both of those characters, their defining characteristic is still the fact that they are a woman.

In reality, very little of my time is spent being either actively feminine or actively unfeminine. Most of the time, my womanness is actually pretty far from my mind. When I'm dealing with a problem, the fact that I'm dealing with it as a female hardly EVER comes up. It's not because gender stereotyping doesn't happen - of course it does. But my life is made up of so much more than traditionally feminine or traditionally masculine activities.

A friend once pointed out to me that a mutual acquaintance always related everything she said to her major, especially when she was making a serious point. She'd start off every sentence with, "As a [whatever] major..." It was like she felt she had to pull those credentials and filter everything she said through them to make it more valid.

I feel like all these Strong Female Characters are doing just that. "As a woman, I think..." The ending of that sentence may be different from the beginning of it, but both they and the traditional "non-strong" female characters view absolutely everything through that single filter.

But honestly, as a woman myself, my thoughts and opinions aren't run through that filter very often. It varies depending on my circumstances and the people around me, but generally, it's far more likely that I'll have cause to say, "As a Christian..." or "As an introvert..." These days, my "woman" filter becomes important about as often as my "homeschooler" filter, my "theater lover" filter, and my "I have arthritis" filter. (Actually, probably less often than the last two.)

Media women don't seem to have these other filters. They seem to view everything through the "woman" filter - and, conveniently, only deal with issues that SHOULD be dealt with through that filter. They're constantly encountering openly, blatantly sexist people, or fighting with themselves about whether or not they want babies, or fighting to claim authority.

Compare this to male characters, who nearly always have more than one filter. "As a man" is joined by "as a jock," "as a teacher," "as a Republican," "as someone who may or may not have Asperger's." This makes them much more relatable. Someone who has introvert, nerd, AND nice person filters is much more similar to me than someone who only has the woman filter in place. So most of the characters I identify with in movies and television are male.

My all-time favorite fictional female is Daria Morgendorfer. She defied female stereotypes by... not really working that hard to defy female stereotypes. She threw off the societal demand that she be a typical female as she did with ALL other societal demands. In a lesser comedy, ALL the jokes would revolve around the fact that she didn't wear makeup or fashionable clothes. In this show, Daria's sister does make a big deal out of it... but Daria hardly ever fights back with a giant rant about women being brainwashed by the fashion industry. She just shrugs and ignores it, because she knows it really isn't a big deal what people expect of her. She's going to do her own thing, whether they want her to or not.

Over the series, all sorts of things happen. Daria gets lectured for not having plans for after high school. Daria works to be the peacekeeper between her fighting parents. Daria sits with her best friend and makes fun of both the shallow guys and shallow girls at her school. Daria resists the need to make friends. Daria develops hopeless crushes. (Or, well, at least one.)

And, guess what? None of that really has much to do with whether she's a woman or not. She doesn't deal with it in a particularly feminine OR unfeminine way. She deals with it like a person with multiple layers.
She deals with it like *I* would.

I connect very much to Daria. But I would never say, "I connect to Daria because we're very similar as women." Technically, we are, but it's so much more than that. We're similar as snarkers (is that a word? It is now), as students, as friends, as sisters (my dynamic with my sister Elizabeth has sometimes been more similar to Daria and Quinn than either of us are proud of), as introverts, as quiet people, as cynics, as writers. Even if she wasn't female at all, s/he would still be my favorite fictional character of all time. (Well... Cyrano de Bergerac might actually win that title, but it'd be close.)

And that is why I am bored of female characters and female-centric movies and TV shows, whether they are chick flicks or action thrillers. I have nothing in common with those women, other than the fact that we happened to be born with the same body parts. And I feel like a friendship, even with a fictional character, should be built on a LITTLE bit more than that.

My Introversion Meltdown (And An Attempt to Redeem It)

So. Let's flashback quickly to Friday, August 23rd. Life was good, life was fine, I was having a good weekend, visiting for a couple days with a friend I hadn't seen awhile.

And then this article existed.

It's called "15 Unmistakable, Outrageously Secret Signs You're an Extrovert," and, while I suspect it's meant as a humorous piece, it's a mean humorous piece, and it haunted me.

Haunted me as in it set off an anxiety attack and I cried on and off for the next several hours. As in I couldn't get to sleep that night. As in all the horrible things I'd thought about myself in high school came flooding back into my mind, making me suddenly extremely insecure in everything I did. As in for like a week and a half afterward, I would get really unexpectedly scared and insecure any time anyone mentioned anything that related to my introversion.

I'm sure it didn't help that it was a week of fighting off depression anyway, but it's been years since I felt that uncertain of myself. Every time I did something, the words of that article came flooding back to me:

You know who was an extrovert? Jesus Christ.
The Christian life is meant to be a social one, and if you spend all this time alone or apart from people, how are you ever going to make a difference in the world? You're going to get to the end of your life and it's going to mean nothing. Everything you've done so far is nothing.

(You're an extrovert if) You seem OK; those around you do not constantly feel the need to ask, “Are you OK?”
Because you're obviously not OK. And what you do and feel is not OK. And everyone knows it. That's why they keep asking.

(You're an extrovert if) People like you.
People don't like you, Hannah. People are tired of you. People just wish you would be normal and not go into hiding all the time.

(You're an extrovert if) You don’t ruin camping trips, birthday parties, Christmas parties, office parties, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, murder mystery parties, anniversary parties, bonfires, sleepovers, vacations, group projects, brunches, lunches, bridal showers, baby showers, concerts, and road trips simply by being yourself.
All those times you pushed yourself and went to parties? You shouldn't have. Because you ruined them. Just like you thought. You're just never going to have friends. And people are never going to like you. They always wish you would just go away and stay home where you clearly belong.

I wanted to respond to this, but I didn't even know how. For one thing, every time I tried to say anything about it, I just cried and cried (even now, I'm crying as I write this because, HOLY CRAP, typing out my inner thoughts is awful sometimes). And I hated that I was so upset about this... but, ya know, when you've spent your whole life believing you're broken, and then you find out you're not, and then somebody else comes along and manages to verbally express all your deepest unspoken fears from your earlier years... turns out sometimes you're not as done fighting that inward battle as you thought you were.

My second reason for not knowing how to address this was that it is so obviously wrong. The mean, angry venom is so transparently, needlessly present that it seemed pointless to go through it all. If I went through this list and explained why nearly everything on this list was horrible and awful, I can't imagine a single one of my friends ever arguing the other side.

And that's when I figured out where to find some comfort.

It was in the fact that my extroverted friends are nothing like this.

While many of my close friends are introverts, I do have quite a few good friends who are extroverts as well, and none of them would ever say anything like this to me or think this about me.

While the author of that article clearly resented introverts for some reason, my extroverted friends certainly don't resent me. They may be confused by me from time to time but they're not mad at me for who I am.

Since it was pointless to go through the article explaining why it's wrong, but since I still felt like I wanted to use it to say something, I wanted to turn it into something redemptive. In the interest of recovering from my meltdown and focusing on the good, I wanted to thank my extrovert friends for, ya know, not being anything like this. Because it's not extroverts that are are obnoxious and mean. Obnoxious and mean people are obnoxious and mean.

So, without further ado:

My Top 10 Favorite Things I Love About My Extrovert Friends
(Obviously not all my extrovert friends fit all these qualities. But they certainly have a lot of these in common.)
1. They really are a lot of fun.
2. Even if I haven't talked to them in awhile, they're still happy to talk to me and catch up.
3. If I'm going through something and need someone to talk to, I don't have to worry that I'm interrupting their alone time.
4. They are a complete blessing during socially awkward events. I can just latch on to one of them and weather the storm.
5. If I do decide I want to get outside my comfort zone and try something new and scary, they're more than willing to try it with me and walk me through it.
6. They get enthusiastic when I get enthusiastic, even if it's about a topic they don't really care about.
7. They can make me feel like they really care about me and like me in a very short amount of time. (It is not uncommon for extroverts to proclaim their platonic love for me very quickly. I used to mistrust that, but I've learned that, no, a lot of the time, they do genuinely like people that quickly.)
8. They're often very open about themselves - if we manage to get into a deep discussion, I feel like I learn so much about them and who they are.
9. They'll listen to me talk about anything and offer feedback. (I'm not sure where this "extroverts can't listen" stereotype came from. Introverts listen well because they're not rushing to talk, while extroverts listen well because they like getting to know people.)
10. They do accept who I am and are beautifully understanding when I need some time alone or can't handle a hug right now. When they get to this point, I can honestly consider them my friends and feel safe around them.

As a last note, my non-introvert friends, if I ever, ever make you feel inferior or looked down on with my introversion posts, please, please tell me. They're meant to be about offering support to a group of people who may just now be learning (like I have been) that we don't suck, and if it ever veers into "and that is why the other side sucks" territory, that's not what I meant at all. I love you guys.

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 8

Recap: Skye is perfect. That's pretty much all the author wants you to know at this point of the story. Oh, also, this is the day she's supposed to go dolphin-kissing with Morgan.

Turns out this is a long chapter and it's all awful, so this is a long post. Just a heads up.

Skye arrives bright and early at the Hamiltons' room (like before Tammy's awake early, because, again, Skye's parents don't care what their kid does) and immediately starts referring to Morgan as her dad.

Skye leaned closer and her voice fell to a whisper. “He said something about parents having to be with me when I swim with the dolphins. I think it was some legal mumbo-jumbo.”

Well, I'm just shocked. The cruise wants nine-year-olds to be with their parents when swimming with dolphins in a foreign country? That sounds almost like responsible parenting, a concept we're pretty hazy on in this book.

Morgan's in the shower, but Skye is in too much of a hurry to wait for him, so she dashes away to grab breakfast with a message for Morgan to meet her.

Tammy shook her head, staring at the youngster sprinting down the long, narrow hallway, and almost running into a couple coming out of their stateroom. “Excuse me!” she yelled, without breaking stride.

Again, this is why Skye can hardly be called a "polite" child. Rambunctious, yes, but polite children do not run through hallways yelling early in the morning when people are sleeping around them. She's not doing it to be malicious, she's just being a kid, but this is why I can't at all buy this "Skye is the perfect child" nonsense, because she's not even particularly well-behaved. (But then again, Rothdiener thinks it's charming for kids to run up and down the hallways in an airplane yelling too.)

Morgan gets out of the shower and he and Tammy talk for awhile about how awesome Skye is. We learn she speaks five languages:

“That’s interesting. I guess with parents like hers, and the places she has visited, she would need to communicate in different languages.”

I don't think by "parents like hers" he means "parents who drop her off with random strangers in unknown countries," but, yes, with those parents, she absolutely needs to be able to communicate in different languages.

Then we get a bit of dialogue that is so hilarious and weird that I just have to snark each piece of it.

“What is the topic this morning at the conference?” Morgan asked.

“Batten disease.”

“Batten? That’s extremely rare.”

"Certainly not appropriate for a convention about rare childhood diseases or anything."

“I know. They’re discussing some of the rarest childhood diseases,

"...even some extremely rare ones!"

and how we can raise awareness in our society.”

"Have they considered writing an article about why we should care about rare childhood diseases?"

“Interesting topic,” Morgan said.

"And totally unexpected, given the nature of this conference."

Seriously, these people talk like they have NO IDEA what this conference is about, and, furthermore, have no expertise in the field.

Morgan continued, “There is something I’m curious about. I wonder why today’s meeting is so important that her father would miss spending the day with his daughter. Obviously, he adores her. I’m surprised that anything could keep him away from spending time with that girl.”

Which is obviously why Skye gets dumped at random people's houses, sent with strangers to Jamaica, and pawned off on unknown couples for days at a time. The times Skye and her father have been together on this cruise is far less than their time apart.

Tammy warns Morgan not to get too attached to Skye, because when the cruise is over in two weeks, they'll probably never see her again.

An ache settled in Tammy’s heart. “I know how much you love children. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.” 

He swallowed, noticing the room had grown quiet.

First of all, there's pretty much no textual indication that Morgan actually wants kids, given how callous he is about the whole thing. I am really, really unhappy that Tammy's pain is consistently framed entirely in terms of how Morgan feels about it. She's the one who's been depressed and inconsolable, while he's been all, "Why can't my wife just get over this?" and here she is apologizing to him because she feels it's her fault.

Secondly, "the room had grown quiet"? Was there all this ambient noise we were unaware of? Was Skye running up and down the halls yelling again? It's not like there was some mysterious phenomenon where The Room Grew Quiet. Tammy was just done talking and Morgan hadn't started yet.

I'm going to do that, now. If I'm in a room with someone and it's just us talking, I'm going to start saying, "I notice the room has grown quiet," during every single pause.

A moment later, Morgan has a mini crisis of faith when his wife expresses sorrow that all she can do to help rare childhood diseases is talk about them at this conference:

Morgan’s thoughts flashed to his conversation with Skye’s father the night before. Prayer came to his mind, but the thought quickly faded. There was a time when he and Tammy would pray for others, as well as their own needs. But their prayers seemed to never be heard; there was only silence from God. At least, that’s what they felt. If God wasn’t listening, if He didn’t care, why bother praying?

And this is why I'm so very confused. Generally, with people who are going through faith crises or doubting their beliefs, they don't go around telling other people to be Christians (as he did with "his conversation with Skye's father the night before"). I mean, maybe, if they're trying to keep up a facade or act pious and feel like they need to do that to keep up the front, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Morgan seems to be jumping back and forth between "God's probably not even there, so why bother?" and "Excuse me, sir, have you ever told a lie?" without a second thought. It makes me very uncertain what level his actual faith is at.

From a better writer, we could end up with a complex character who was doubting but still felt obligated to share, or someone whose old evangelizing habits kicked back in, or who was going through the motions of being a Christian in the hopes that they could jumpstart how they felt or something. But this is none of that. This feels much more like, "Whoops, I forgot this guy doesn't believe in prayer anymore!"

Morgan meets up with Skye and goes to breakfast with her, while Tammy meets up with Malinda Leontiou to do some chatting.

“I hope your husband is ready for a busy day. When Skye’s feeling good, nothing holds her back.” 

“When she’s feeling good? What do you mean by that?” 

“You know, when a girl’s happy and excited, nothing holds her back.”

...What?

That needed to be clarified?

Is this some terrible foreshadowing that maybe Skye has A TERRIBLE DISEASE, maybe even a RARE CHILDHOOD ONE, and sometimes doesn't feel good?

Or does Tammy just not understand what the word "good" means?

Malinda offers Tammy and Morgan a job at their clinic, because one can never have too many people who really understand why we should care about rare childhood diseases, and then they chat some more:

“Well, thank you. I’m honored. What is your history? I mean—” 

Malinda smiled. “You mean, why am I so much younger than Layland?” 

“Well, I wasn’t really alluding to that, but since you said we would talk girl talk, where were you born?”

 *facepalm*

That's like doing this:

"You mean, why am I so much younger than Layland?" 

"Well, I wasn't really alluding to that, but since you said we would talk girl talk, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

The two questions have nothing to do with each other, unless Tammy's assuming that like... Layland was around being a teenager when Malinda was born or something, which is a really creepy way to start telling that story.

Tammy finds out more about Malinda. Her parents are Canadian, she was born in Sweden during a cancer convention, her parents "discovered several breakthroughs in cancer treatment," and then their plane in Africa was shot down by rebels and they died. Which totally answers why she's so much younger than Layland. As I knew it would.

Tammy hesitated, giving Malinda a moment. Finally, she spoke. “How long have you been married?”

OK, that's a much better lead in for the question you're trying to ask and still being coy about for some reason even though Malinda brought it out in the open already.

Malinda talks about her first marriage, where she "dumped him like a can of beans" after he cheated on her. (Is this a phrase? I haven't heard of it. Do cans of beans get regularly dumped?) Then she talks about how she met Doctor Layland Leontiou at a convention, since that is apparently all that any of these people do.

“He was a gentle man, but strong. He had to be strong in the world of business.”

This line just makes me snicker. It sounds so much like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. "Seriously, Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. If we find it, and it's real, it could mean a lot. It could mean actual advances in the field of science."

“I’m sure you have picked up on how protective Layland is with Skye.”

*spits water*

ON WHAT PLANET IS GIVING YOUR NINE-YEAR-OLD TO A STRANGE MAN TO HANG OUT WITH ALL DAY AND GO TO JAMAICA WITH CONSIDERED "PROTECTIVE"?

A brief lesson for all you writers out there. You can't just tell me what your characters are like. You have to show me. They have to demonstrate that with their actions. Otherwise everyone in the story looks delusional, like Malinda does here.

“It grieves her father not to be able to spend these couple days with her, especially today. He really wanted to share the dolphin experience with her.”

Malinda stirred her coffee. “Skye lives every day to the fullest. She’s an extremely organized, happy-go-lucky girl, who never thinks of herself. She’s always busy, always learning, and always excited.”

“It’s strange,” Malinda said, “but she never has shown an interest in video games, like most of today’s kids. She does things that help other people. And she’s definitely gifted.”

OK, let's first note that Malinda says the first paragraph and the last one... and presumably the second one, but if so, why in the world do we have three separate paragraphs telling us that she's basically just talking for awhile? It would be quite logical to assume Tammy was talking in the second one, given that she's that needlessly gushy about Skye on a daily basis and the fact that it's sandwiched in between two paragraphs of Malinda speaking. Basically, I'm not convinced this script ever made it to an actual editor. I think they just skimmed, said, "Yup, it's about Jesus," and printed it.

Secondly, I am ever so TIRED of them hyping up Skye to me, especially when it doesn't always match what she does either. I don't think she's nearly as selfless as they're hyping up, given the fact that, for example, she thinks it's appropriate to mock someone for their fear.

But she MUST be a perfect child! She doesn't play those evil violent video games! Right?

Malinda explains Skye has tested "extremely high academically, genius level," and is also a super talented pianist and artist. She then gets really defensive all of a sudden about how busy they are with their lab work and how sometimes they don't have time for Skye.

Then they talk about the cruise for awhile. Turns out, Doctor Layland Leontiou started it and pays for the cruises. It started out as essentially just a doctor vacation, but then it turned into a fundraising idea-sharing time. Malinda says she and Doctor L. L. are close to a cure for... some disease. It doesn't ever actually say which one. It's all really vague, with talk of "experiments" and "lab work" and "tests," but hardly ever does anyone mention a specific disease. THAT is how you raise awareness, people.

Now after all the important and essential things we learned in that forever-long section, let's zoom over to see what Morgan and Skye are doing.

Morgan held Skye’s hand tightly as she led him through the food line. He had never really babysat before, at least not by himself.

Uh, and I'm not sure he is now. From the sounds of it, she's babysitting him. Yesterday she taught him how water slides work, today it's food lines.

Skye talks with all her new friends as she gets her food, including one guy she's praying for. She makes some comment about how her prayers are always answered, and Morgan has another mini faith crisis wondering why God answers her prayers and not his.

And then we have... the weirdest breakfast conversation.

Skye says that her parents' clinic is in the Aegean Sea, near where Atlantis is located. She says that Atlantis is true because "the folk singer, Donovan, sang about it back in the sixties," and "Plato talked about it. He never talked about anything but the truth." Then she tells him, sincerely, the history of Atlantis and how it was destroyed.

Now, if she wasn't supposed to be a SUPER SPESHUL BRILLIANT MARVEL OF NATURE I'd assume this was just usual imaginative kid talk, where she'd heard about it, heard 1960s folk songs about it (which she sings to Morgan), read Plato about it, and incorporated it into her framework of real life. But with Skye and with all the hyping they've done... I have a horrible feeling Atlantis might actually be found at the end of this book.

Morgan was amazed at the girl’s ability to learn, to remember. She obviously was brilliant. How does Skye know everybody’s name?

I wouldn't call being good with names "brilliant." Maybe Morgan is just hugely incompetent at remembering names, and so she seems brilliant by comparison.

Skye then scolds the waiter who brings her ketchup for not calling his kids yet like she told him to. He says he is too ashamed, she tells him he needs to call them to feel better, and he says she's right. Because apparently everybody is ready to take life advice from a nine-year-old.

Then breakfast is over, and it's time to go dolphin kissing. Morgan and Skye get off the boat, with Doctor L.L., Malinda, and Tammy all watching them (though for some reason Doctor L. L. is watching secretly. And crying about it).

I gotta tell you guys, this was an exhausting chapter to get through, with nearly every line being just... wrong. I have no idea how people have been reading this seriously. But apparently people have. It's still got all five-star reviews on Amazon. Sigh.

(Chapter 9.)

6 TV Shows I Love That None of My Friends Seem to Watch

Well, we've had lots of serious posts over the last week and a half, about introversion and depression and church... so now let me do a slightly fluffier media-related one. A few weeks ago I wrote about my all-time favorite TV shows, but there are plenty of other shows I watch. I figured I'd devote this blog entry to telling you about six great TV shows that, apparently, only I ever watch.

These are in order from least favorite to favorite. I love them all, but my favorite of the bunch will be last.

6. Jekyll

Steven Moffat may be best known for his work on Sherlock and Doctor Who, but this six-episode show he wrote is great fun. They were expecting a second season which they did not get, so it ends on a rather abrupt note, but up until that point it is an intense, fascinating modernization of the Jekyll and Hyde story. James Nesbitt is thoroughly likable as Tom Jackman and mesmerizing as his alter-ego, Mr. Hyde. An excellent little miniseries-length show. It is quite a bit darker and gorier than Moffat's more family-friendly work on Doctor Who, so don't sit down with your kids for this one, but it's well worth watching.

Where you can watch it online: Netflix and iTunes.

5. Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

I looked this one up because I noticed it had Matt Berry and Richard Ayoade in it, both actors I loved in The IT Crowd. I ended up thoroughly enjoying this little six-episode series as well. The premise is that a (fictional) horror writer named Garth Marenghi filmed six episodes of "Darkplace," a horror television series in the 1980s, but it never aired because it was too disturbing, too radical, and too far ahead of its time. Now, here, we have the first screening of the six episodes that were filmed before the project was shut down.

Of course, "Darkplace" is not disturbing or radical or ahead of its time. It's just poorly written, poorly acted, poorly edited, poorly mic'd... basically everything that could be bad, is. The show is interspersed with clips of interviews with the "actors" today, reflecting on the show and their work with it. The whole thing is absolutely hilarious, and fans of bad movies or cheesy parodies will definitely want to look this one up.

Where you can watch it online: The only place you can find it online is YouTube. The full series is available there.

4. Coupling

Before Steven Moffat was known in the U.S. for Doctor Who and Sherlock, and even before Jekyll, he did a sitcom. And it's hilarious. I first heard it pitched to me as "a British version of Friends," but Coupling is significantly raunchier... and, I'd argue, significantly funnier. The first season is a bit stagey, but as it gets into later seasons and hits its stride, it offers some of the most truly hysterical moments in sitcom history. My favorite moments are when a character has to explain his way out of something and just keeps digging himself in deeper. Those moments are many in Coupling, and they all make me laugh so hard. (I've shared my very favorite one on Facebook many times.)

Where you can watch it online: iTunes, Netflix, and Hulu.

3. The Neighbors

I am completely surprised that this got picked up for a second season, because if the people I know are any indication of what the people in general are watching, nobody cared about this show. I, however, think it was easily the funniest offering of last year's mostly-blah TV sitcoms (The Mindy Project is the only other standout). It's a funny and original story about a family who moves into a gated community populated entirely by space aliens who were sent here many years ago and then lost contact with their home planet. The humor is definitely on the "silly and absurd" side, but it usually makes me dissolve into helpless giggles at least once per episode. If you haven't watched this, check it out before season two starts.

Where you can watch it online: iTunes, Hulu, and Amazon.

2. Wilfred

If I was surprised The Neighbors got a second season, I'm even more surprised Wilfred's on its third. Delighted, but surprised. This is a weird, weird show. It's based on an Australian show I've never seen, but I absolutely love this U.S. version. Elijah Wood plays a depressed, anxious, highly phobic individual trying to get his life back together after a failed suicide attempt. Everything goes a little bit wonky when he meets his next door neighbor, Jenna, and her dog, Wilfred... who he views as a man in a dog costume. Wilfred talks to him, advises him, smokes pot with him, and generally gets him into all sorts of trouble.

What I love most about this show is that, even though its central focus is the dark humor circling around Elijah Wood's mental state and how truly terrible a personality Wilfred is, it really manages to make some very poignant and beautiful points about things like overcoming fears, letting people in to your life, and responding to the darkness in your mind. Its overall cynicism makes its few deep moments that much more compelling... and, may I add, Elijah Wood has never been better than he is in this role.

Where you can watch it online: iTunes, Netflix, Amazon.

1. Slings and Arrows

Oh, gosh, how I love love love Slings and Arrows. It's a Canadian show set at a Shakespearean festival in the fictional town of New Burbage, following the dramatic ups and downs of the cast and crew every season. If you are at all into theater, you really have to watch this one. It's one of the best on-screen interpretations I've ever seen of the thrill of the stage, from both a director's standpoint and an actor's. It's worth watching for that alone, but it's also a very solid drama/comedy. The characters are vivid and entertaining, the dialogue smart and funny, and it's easy to follow even if you're not an avid theater fan. This is one of those shows that I like to watch when I need to feel better.

Where you can watch it online: It recently left Netflix Instant, and I got so very sad, but then discovered it's still available to watch online on Amazon.

Honorable mentions for a few that got scooted off the list because I know quite a few other people who watch/watched them: Bunheads (a witty and funny show about ballet from the creator of Gilmore Girls), Alphas (a FAR FAR FAR better superhero TV show than Heroes), and QI (a Stephen Fry-hosted trivia panel show that teaches me something fascinating and bizarre every episode).

Have you seen any of these? Did you like them? What are your favorite mostly-unknown TV shows?

Leaving Church Doesn't Mean Leaving Community

One of my very favorite writers, Rachel Held Evans, wrote a blog three weeks ago or so about why millennials are leaving the church. Everything she said was pretty much exactly right, and it brought to mind my series I wrote awhile back about my struggles with church and how I'd been on a break from it for awhile (you can read that here: part 1, part 2, part 3).

(As an update on my state since that series: I'm currently attending a church on a regular basis, but more as a matter of practicality and social expectation than out of anything I am able to get from or give to it. I feel as if I'm still on a break from church in my heart, as my view of God and my relationship with Him shifts ever further away from the church-based model in America. But back to the main point of the post.)

Evans' post got oodles of backlash, and then responses to that backlash, but as someone who has been struggling through and blogging about the purposes of church in my life, I wanted to respond to one specific bit of feedback that seems to be coming up a lot in responses to the post.

One of the biggest criticisms of the millennials leaving the church and pursuing their faith elsewhere is the idea that we need each other to grow, our faith dies in isolation, we need to connect with other believers and learn from them and encourage each other.

And I totally agree with that idea.

I just think church is no longer the best place to do that. Certainly not for me, and possibly for many other people around me.

To quote a bit from my earlier series on church:

• I have so many people I would consider good friends, but I have not formed a single real, lasting friendship with anyone I ever went to church with.
• My greatest spiritual mentors are people I didn't go to church with.
• Church was home to most of the loneliest moments of my life.
• I have felt true community many times. These times have all been outside of a church group.

Nearly a year later, this is all still true.

The model of most American churches is just not at all set up for me or my fellow introverts to make close friends. In many, the level of social interaction is constant enough to be draining for me and not deep enough for it to be enriching or encouraging for me. I come home with an odd combination of being completely socially drained and yearning for truly meaningful interaction... only now I'm too tired to seek out that meaningful interaction, and that need goes unmet.

Here's the point, though: The fact that I have stopped looking to church to supply my actual fellowship needs doesn't mean at all that I have retreated into spiritual isolation. Far from it. I have frequent discussions about spiritual things with friends via Facebook, text, or instant messenger. We ask each other for prayer and godly advice.

Most of the time, for me, I just hope I make it through social interactions at church with enough energy to have the truly enriching social interactions later.

Those who leave the church aren't always attempting to "make it on their own" on their faith journey. Very few are stepping out of community altogether. They may simply be replacing an unfulfilling community with a fulfilling one, a community of their own choosing.

For those who do find their church family to be a fulfilling community, that is fantastic. That is a blessing. You walk in that community and strengthen it and love it.

For me, my faith community is scattered across the country, everywhere from Texas to New Hampshire. My community grows a person at a time as I find people I trust enough that I can open up and share my spiritual struggles. Rarely am I ever gathered with them in person, but the spiritual encouragement we get from each other is more than enough to fulfill my need for fellowship, and I am happy and blessed for them to be the primary faith community of my life, rather than my church.