Nichole Nordeman has been one of the few contemporary Christian artists that I've liked since she started. Her lyrics are thoughtful and reflective and not at all afraid to touch on the darker, more melancholy side of life (something that is tremendously important for me). "To Say Thanks" is from her first album, Wide Eyed, which was a little bit darker than her later ones, and this is one of the darker songs, just about how difficult it is to praise God sometimes.
Showing posts with label christian music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christian music. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Christian Music I Grew Up With, Part 2
In my last blog on this subject, I covered the easy listening, "contemporary Christian" sound and the cheesy teen pop. Now on to the stuff that most of the people around my in my youth group actually listened to: the rock and the worship. Today is just the rock, because, turns out, I had a lot I wanted to say about these groups.
Rocking Out For Jesus
Really, all you need to know about the cool Christian groups in the early 2000s is that there were three main groups that EVERYBODY listened to. Everybody. I liked them all, but here they are in order from least favorite to favorite.
1. Newsboys. They were definitely pop rock rather than rock rock, but they were still significantly cooler than any of the other pop I listened to. And they were edgy, because they sang the Breakfast song, which mentioned hell by name, which you weren't supposed to do in Christian music.
The best, most interesting era of the band was when Steve Taylor was writing their lyrics. Sometimes they got a bit too "look what I can do with words!" but some of them were fantastic. Take Me To Your Leader and Shine get my vote for most entertaining lyrically. A couple of their more overtly rocky hits: the re-recording of God Is Not a Secret and Cup O' Tea; some of their poppier hits: Step Up to the Microphone and Entertaining Angels.
2. Audio Adrenaline. Their 1999 album "Underdog" is still, in my opinion, one of the best albums Christian music has ever, ever created. They sort of became the poster band for youth group missions trips. How could they not? They had songs about youth group van road trips, being willing to go wherever God sent you, and everyone needing God.
They also had a silly sense of humor, which led to songs like The Houseplant Song, about rock music being bad for you, and Big House, a goofy song about playing football in Heaven. Though it wasn't quite as silly, Get Down also became the classic youth trip option of "light-hearted songs to get the teens involved at the beginning of worship." (I went on one trip where we sang it every morning.)
They also ultimately wrote some really nice, mellow, serious pieces. I'm a fan particularly of Ocean Floor, Never Gonna Be As Big As Jesus, and Good Life.
3. dc Talk. Oh, where to begin with dc Talk?
The group consisted of Kevin Max Smith, Toby McKeehan, and Michael Tait. (They're in that order on the above album picture.) They started off as a rap group, putting out two albums that were just straight hip hop. Cheesy 1990s pop hip hop, but ya know, close enough. Toby was the rapper, and the other two sang the choruses. Their third album, "Free At Last," branched out a little bit, offering songs like Socially Acceptable and Say the Words that were primarily non-rap, along with songs like Luv is a Verb and Jesus Is Just Alright that sounded more like what they'd been doing already.
And then along came Jesus Freak in 1995.
They went full rock on that album, giving no warning that that was going to happen, but it turned out to be one of the best Christian albums ever, as well as giving us the actual song "Jesus Freak," which pretty much defined an entire generation of teens. The album dealt with topics like racism, hypocrisy and wanting to avoid it, and asking for forgiveness from people you've wronged. This album connected with Christian teens in a powerful way. I was only nine when it first came out, but its influence was still obvious by the time I reached high school.
dc Talk's final album, "Supernatural," was a pop rock album that wasn't quite as earth-shattering as their previous one, but it still had some great songs, like Consume Me, Into Jesus, and the title track.
The group went their own separate ways after that to pursue solo careers. Toby has had the most successful solo career, taking the name "tobyMac" and putting out lots of Christian hip hop, though he's been edging toward a poppier sound these days.
Kevin dropped his last name and goes by "Kevin Max," and he's had a ridiculously varied career, releasing:
- a melancholy, artsy CD with a Middle Eastern flair
- a cheerful pop rock album
- a collection of covers of old spirituals and hymns
- an electronic pop album
- and two EPs of epic soundtrackian covers meant to accompany a graphic novel he's written.
Michael formed the band Tait and released two albums before going on hiatus (neither of which I really listened to).
And now... here's the fun part.
In 2009, Newsboys' lead singer, Peter Furler, left the band to focus on his family. They announced shortly afterward that Michael Tait would join the band as their new lead singer. The band has been moderately successful since Michael joined the band.
In 2006, Audio Adrenaline disbanded. Lead singer Mark Stuart stepped down due to vocal issues (they thought it was because of overuse, but Wikipedia informs me he actually has a disorder which causes his larynx to spasm. Huh). In 2012, six years after their hiatus, it was announced that Kevin Max would reform the band and take over as lead singer. Their first album together came out just last week (with Mark Stuart co-writing several songs), and I have not yet gotten a chance to listen to it, but I'm super excited.
Now we just have to find an awesome old Christian band for Toby to take over.
This blog is already ridiculously long, but I wanted to take a quick moment to give a shout out to the rock bands that I still liked (in varying degrees) but were not quite as essential in my Christian music upbringing. I'm looking at you, Relient K, Superchic[k], P.O.D., and Jars of Clay.
I've spoken a crapload. Now it's your turn to talk if you want. What were your favorite Christian rock groups? Do you feel the ones I've mentioned are overrated?
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The Christian Music I Grew Up With, Part 1
The other night I was reminiscing with my family about the songs I grew up with, specifically the Christian songs I remembered so fondly.
I was in middle school when I first discovered music of any kind, really. In my house at that time we were only allowed to listen to Christian music, so that was what I listened to. I don't remember my first CD, but it was one of these three, all of which I acquired at the same time:
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I was in middle school when I first discovered music of any kind, really. In my house at that time we were only allowed to listen to Christian music, so that was what I listened to. I don't remember my first CD, but it was one of these three, all of which I acquired at the same time:
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And from there I went on to acquire everything I could get my hands on.
Let's look at some of the highlights, shall we?
Easy Listening Contemporary Christian
Even though in some youth group circles, these weren't considered cool to listen to - it was "mom music" - I had a great fondness for some of the mellower artists. For example, Point of Grace. The two most ubiquitous songs by them at that time were Keep the Candle Burning and Circle of Friends, but I personally liked their more upbeat songs better, such as That's the Way It Meant to Be and Steady On. Oh, I should mention that their first Christmas CD was incredible. It's still one of my very favorites. Their original Christmas song Light of the World is one I love listening to every Christmas.
Avalon was like Point of Grace except with two guys and two girls instead of four girls. (Incidentally, one of the members of Avalon was Jody McBrayer, whose voice I LOVED, and when he released a solo CD, I snapped it up instantly.) The Avalon song that wouldn't die is Testify to Love, which apparently was covered by Wynonna Judd? Huh. No idea. Avalon was also really good at giving us those big crazy belty female songs, sort of the Christian equivalent of I Will Always Love You or And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going. You sang these songs if you wanted to show off your voice. The two most notable were Can't Live a Day and I Don't Wanna Go.
Michael W. Smith had both been around for quite awhile, but when I first started listening to music, it was right when This Is Your Time was big. And I mean BIG. It was an inspirational song released in the wake of the Columbine shooting, encouraging people to live their lives fully because you never know when your time is going to be up, and it was all over the place. "Human videos" hadn't quite caught on in American churches yet, or this would have been the subject of all of them. (His Christmas CDs are also pretty incredible. Apparently adult contemporary Christian artists do the best Christmas albums.)
Steven Curtis Chapman was considered a little less "mommish" but not by much. His song Dive was the big song back then, and because Christian music apparently never gets old, I still hear it played on Christian radio today. I do like the song - it's catchy and fun - I just think it's funny that it's still going. (Other big SCC songs: Lord of the Dance, The Great Adventure, Speechless and the quintessential wedding song I Will Be Here.)
The Cheesiest Pop You Can Imagine
Oh, don't worry, it wasn't just cheesy because it was Christian. It was cheesy because it was the late 1990s and the early 2000s and we were trying to find a way to get people to listen to music about Jesus instead of Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys. Cue young female belters, boy bands, and girl dance groups.
The female pop singers I listened to: Jaci Velasquez, Stacie Orrico, Rachael Lampa. They all sounded pretty much the same and were all 16 or 17 when they got signed. Jaci and Rachael were power belters, while Stacie was dubbed "the Christian Britney Spears" - much breathier and weaker a voice. A few of their biggest songs: God So Loved and On My Knees (Jaci), Blessed and Savior Song (Rachael), and More to Life and Genuine (Stacie).
Rebecca St. James should probably be in there somewhere, but I didn't listen to her as much, aside from her True Love Waits song, Wait For Me. I did like that one.
Of the dance girl groups, the only one that really did well was ZOEgirl. I didn't like them as much as my friends did, but I bought all their CDs anyway. I'm not even sure I can separate all their songs out in my mind, but I do remember Dismissed and I Believe as being ones I liked. They are pretty fun to dance along to still.
The girl dance groups that nobody listened to but me: V*Enna (Where I Wanna Be was their one hit) and Shine MK (More Than Words Can Say is not my favorite, but it's the only one I can find on YouTube).
(A few other songs that kind of fit this category: River by Out of Eden, All I Can Do by Jump5, and, oh gosh, you can't forget Always and Forever by Raze.)
Annnnd the boy bands. There were actually a fair amount of Christian boy bands, even though no one remembers them now, and I listened to all of them. The main ones I listened to the most were Plus One (Written On My Heart and I Don't Care), True Vibe (Jump Jump Jump), Phat Chance (Sunshine Daylight), and Jake (Waiting and Let Me Know).
In part 2, I'll deal with the "cool" Christian music (some of which is actually still pretty cool). These can be separated into two genres: the rock dudes and the worship dudes.
Did you grow up listening to any of these artists? Which were your favorites?
Monday, October 29, 2012
My Favorite Worship Songs
I've written on here before about why I have so many issues with Christian songs and, more specifically, Christian worship songs. I listed a few of my favorite worship songs in that original blog post, but have decided to repost here a worship playlist I made for a good friend earlier this year. The list is about half Christian music and half not, but they're all songs that I am able to connect to in my relationship with God. I've provided YouTube links whenever possible.
1. "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble
This song always makes me feel worshipful and close to God. One of the most easily relatable praise songs, for those days when you're just grateful for everything you have.
2. "Rhythm in Me" from Altar Boyz
This was a musical that made fun of Christian boy bands... but, man, do I like this song. It's a beautifully silly dance song that makes me laugh and dance and enjoy the fact that, yes, God did put the rhythm in me. Or, well, at least in other, more talented people.
3. "Trucker Hat" by Bowling For Soup
Although this song is clearly about a girl, I've morphed it to a worship song anyway. It's about being with somebody and realizing that they've made you a better person and being amazed that you get to be associated with them at all... all thoughts I like connecting back to God.
4. "The Spark of Creation" from Children of Eden
From a musical about the book of Genesis (and one of my favorite shows). When I discovered this song I fell completely head over heels in love with it. It's a beautiful expression how art and creativity is a gift right from God, and there's so much joy in it.
5. "Someone Else's Clothes" by Jason Robert Brown
Another fantastic song about being changed for the better by someone you love... which I like to appropriate for worship. It also has some of the *best* opening lines of all time in a song.
6. "To Know You" by Nichole Nordeman
Moving from upbeat songs into more contemplative songs. This became a favorite back when I first heard it in 1999 or so and has stayed one since then. I've always loved how Nichole Nordeman isn't afraid to approach doubt or darkness in her lyrics. This song captures the desire to know God, the desire to be better, coupled with the knowledge that, well, we kind of suck at that.
7. "Small Enough" by Nichole Nordeman
I didn't mean to put two of my Nichole Nordeman songs together on here (there are two more coming up - she's just that good). But here goes. I LOVE this song. There are times when it has brought me to tears. It's one of the ones I've sometimes sat in a dark room and listened to over and over again as I prayed. I love that it doesn't try to negate God as the big, awesome king who saves us the way some more personal love-songs-to-God do... it just acknowledges that sometimes we just need God to kind of shrink himself and be close to us.
8. "I Need a Hero" by Chris Rice
He and Nichole Nordeman are very similar stylistically and lyrically, so it's no surprise that I love him a lot too. I love the vulnerability and the melancholy feel in this song. It's sort of the flip side of "Small Enough" - instead of needing God to be small and intimate, it's about needing him to be bigger than us.
9. "Hold Me Jesus" by Rich Mullins
Here's an oldie but a goodie. As you may have picked up on by now, I'm really drawn to vulnerable "I need you, God" songs. This song is one of the ones that always makes me think of those times when I'm awake at 3 in the morning having anxiety attacks or just plain stressing about life... and I just need God to be there and reassure me.
10. "Every Season" by Nichole Nordeman
Here she is again! This song is beautifully poetic and offers a gorgeous portrayal of finding God in everything.
11. "All the Wasted Time" from Parade
Let's break up the string of actual Christian songs with a showtune that is clearly a love song... and, wow, does it get to me. I was listening to my MP3 player on shuffle one day and this song came on and I just realized that it was, in so many ways, how I felt about God.
12. "Take My Hand" by Shawn McDonald
This one's harder to explain why I like because it's just kind of a gut reaction. I do know I really like the fast-moving pace of these lyrics and the simplicity of that last main line of the chorus: "And I need you."
13. "Replace Me" by Family Force 5
People tend to either love or hate FF5 - I love them. Most of their songs are not even close to being worship songs, but this one really works for me, especially the chorus, which becomes a high-energy, desperate plea for God to change who we are.
14. "He Reigns" by Newsboys
I'm really not a fan of Newsboys' new stuff in general, but I really like this one, even if it did then get overplayed. I love the grandness and the inclusivity of it all. It's not just about an individual relationship (although as you can see I obviously love those songs too). It's about the power of worship throughout all the world, in all languages, but still singing the same things, essentially the same song. That's such a beautiful idea to me.
15. "You Move Me" by Susan Ashton
As someone who deals with fear a lot, this is almost exactly my experience with God - I find myself frozen, scared to move anywhere or do anything, and God manages to be the one to give me the courage to move forward. I love that it's such a personal example of how God influences our lives. Not just "I was sad, now I'm happy" - it's a very specific experience that I relate to strongly.
16. "On the Deck of a Spanish Sailing Ship, 1492" from Songs for a New World
This is kind of an odd choice - it's a long song, and it's sung by Christopher Columbus on his way to America. But it's a showtune that's actually sung directly to God about feeling unguided and worried that maybe things aren't going to work out. I love the cry that begins halfway through: "Lord, take my hand, I am not strong enough, I am not strong enough."
17. "Take Away My Dreams" by Groovelily
This was not originally in my worship playlist, but it is in my "crying out to God" playlist, and that is *exactly* what it is. Another one I've listened to on repeat over and over again. Sometimes it feels like God gives me dreams and then doesn't let me fulfill them, and that is exactly when this song comes in handy.
18. "I Am" by Nichole Nordeman
The last Nordeman song on the list. It's especially meaningful to me because of having pretty much grown up with God. I love the theme of remembering God's interactions and meeting of needs throughout life.
19. "A Little Longer" by Brian & Jenn Johnson
This one has a bit of a story behind it. I was visiting NLDC and one morning during our prayer time, the guy leading it started pushing us to pray harder, stay more focused, we needed to stop thinking of ourselves and just focus on God. I was having trouble connecting to God that morning and found myself frustrated and discouraged, feeling like I was just unable to push myself that far and therefore it was all my fault and I failed God.
The next day I was dreading going back to worship time. I just didn't want to deal with that again. But that morning, the girl who led it said, "I don't know why. I just feel like we're supposed to listen to this CD quietly today." And this song was on it... and it was absolutely a message from God. The first half spoke to my frustration of being unable to communicate: "No matter how I try, I can't thank you enough." The second half was God responding to me, telling me: "You don't have to do a thing, just sit and be with me and let those things go." I sat in a corner of the room, listening to the song, tears streaming down my face, so relieved that God was telling me he really didn't care how hard I was pushing myself, how hard I was working to connect with him on my own... he just wanted me to be there with him. No pressure. No hoops to jump through. He just wanted me there.
20. "I'd Give It All For You" from Songs for a New World
Sometimes you hear a song and it suddenly takes on a whole new context. I was listening to this one day and it suddenly hit me as a song between God and me, during a time when I was kind of on the run from God and not wanting to really connect with him. The guy's part is sung from God to me (although it's a little shakier and more vulnerable than God probably is, I do like that kind of aspect - that God loves me enough that it does distress him when I run from him) and the girl's part is me to God, realizing that I needed to go back to him.
21. "Music of Heaven" by Jason Robert Brown
My all-time favorite worship song. Man, talk about a description of a specific experience... This song is about having so many analytical, cynical barriers up during worship that you find yourself unable to reach God... but desperately, *desperately* wanting to. This song breaks me down every time I hear it. It's so beautiful.
22. "And Now My Lifesong Sings" by Casting Crowns
The one that gave me the idea for this whole playlist to begin with. As I said in chat, I love how simple and sweet this is. No emotional manipulation, just a quiet declaration of praise.
23. "I Feel So Much Spring" from A New Brain
This song has just recently become a favorite. It's become one of my favorite "life is good" songs. I love the metaphors used to describe the different feelings of happiness. There's *so much* joy in this song. It's become one of my very favorite worship songs of deep contentment and praise.
1. "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble
This song always makes me feel worshipful and close to God. One of the most easily relatable praise songs, for those days when you're just grateful for everything you have.
2. "Rhythm in Me" from Altar Boyz
This was a musical that made fun of Christian boy bands... but, man, do I like this song. It's a beautifully silly dance song that makes me laugh and dance and enjoy the fact that, yes, God did put the rhythm in me. Or, well, at least in other, more talented people.
3. "Trucker Hat" by Bowling For Soup
Although this song is clearly about a girl, I've morphed it to a worship song anyway. It's about being with somebody and realizing that they've made you a better person and being amazed that you get to be associated with them at all... all thoughts I like connecting back to God.
4. "The Spark of Creation" from Children of Eden
From a musical about the book of Genesis (and one of my favorite shows). When I discovered this song I fell completely head over heels in love with it. It's a beautiful expression how art and creativity is a gift right from God, and there's so much joy in it.
5. "Someone Else's Clothes" by Jason Robert Brown
Another fantastic song about being changed for the better by someone you love... which I like to appropriate for worship. It also has some of the *best* opening lines of all time in a song.
6. "To Know You" by Nichole Nordeman
Moving from upbeat songs into more contemplative songs. This became a favorite back when I first heard it in 1999 or so and has stayed one since then. I've always loved how Nichole Nordeman isn't afraid to approach doubt or darkness in her lyrics. This song captures the desire to know God, the desire to be better, coupled with the knowledge that, well, we kind of suck at that.
7. "Small Enough" by Nichole Nordeman
I didn't mean to put two of my Nichole Nordeman songs together on here (there are two more coming up - she's just that good). But here goes. I LOVE this song. There are times when it has brought me to tears. It's one of the ones I've sometimes sat in a dark room and listened to over and over again as I prayed. I love that it doesn't try to negate God as the big, awesome king who saves us the way some more personal love-songs-to-God do... it just acknowledges that sometimes we just need God to kind of shrink himself and be close to us.
8. "I Need a Hero" by Chris Rice
He and Nichole Nordeman are very similar stylistically and lyrically, so it's no surprise that I love him a lot too. I love the vulnerability and the melancholy feel in this song. It's sort of the flip side of "Small Enough" - instead of needing God to be small and intimate, it's about needing him to be bigger than us.
9. "Hold Me Jesus" by Rich Mullins
Here's an oldie but a goodie. As you may have picked up on by now, I'm really drawn to vulnerable "I need you, God" songs. This song is one of the ones that always makes me think of those times when I'm awake at 3 in the morning having anxiety attacks or just plain stressing about life... and I just need God to be there and reassure me.
10. "Every Season" by Nichole Nordeman
Here she is again! This song is beautifully poetic and offers a gorgeous portrayal of finding God in everything.
11. "All the Wasted Time" from Parade
Let's break up the string of actual Christian songs with a showtune that is clearly a love song... and, wow, does it get to me. I was listening to my MP3 player on shuffle one day and this song came on and I just realized that it was, in so many ways, how I felt about God.
12. "Take My Hand" by Shawn McDonald
This one's harder to explain why I like because it's just kind of a gut reaction. I do know I really like the fast-moving pace of these lyrics and the simplicity of that last main line of the chorus: "And I need you."
13. "Replace Me" by Family Force 5
People tend to either love or hate FF5 - I love them. Most of their songs are not even close to being worship songs, but this one really works for me, especially the chorus, which becomes a high-energy, desperate plea for God to change who we are.
14. "He Reigns" by Newsboys
I'm really not a fan of Newsboys' new stuff in general, but I really like this one, even if it did then get overplayed. I love the grandness and the inclusivity of it all. It's not just about an individual relationship (although as you can see I obviously love those songs too). It's about the power of worship throughout all the world, in all languages, but still singing the same things, essentially the same song. That's such a beautiful idea to me.
15. "You Move Me" by Susan Ashton
As someone who deals with fear a lot, this is almost exactly my experience with God - I find myself frozen, scared to move anywhere or do anything, and God manages to be the one to give me the courage to move forward. I love that it's such a personal example of how God influences our lives. Not just "I was sad, now I'm happy" - it's a very specific experience that I relate to strongly.
16. "On the Deck of a Spanish Sailing Ship, 1492" from Songs for a New World
This is kind of an odd choice - it's a long song, and it's sung by Christopher Columbus on his way to America. But it's a showtune that's actually sung directly to God about feeling unguided and worried that maybe things aren't going to work out. I love the cry that begins halfway through: "Lord, take my hand, I am not strong enough, I am not strong enough."
17. "Take Away My Dreams" by Groovelily
This was not originally in my worship playlist, but it is in my "crying out to God" playlist, and that is *exactly* what it is. Another one I've listened to on repeat over and over again. Sometimes it feels like God gives me dreams and then doesn't let me fulfill them, and that is exactly when this song comes in handy.
18. "I Am" by Nichole Nordeman
The last Nordeman song on the list. It's especially meaningful to me because of having pretty much grown up with God. I love the theme of remembering God's interactions and meeting of needs throughout life.
19. "A Little Longer" by Brian & Jenn Johnson
This one has a bit of a story behind it. I was visiting NLDC and one morning during our prayer time, the guy leading it started pushing us to pray harder, stay more focused, we needed to stop thinking of ourselves and just focus on God. I was having trouble connecting to God that morning and found myself frustrated and discouraged, feeling like I was just unable to push myself that far and therefore it was all my fault and I failed God.
The next day I was dreading going back to worship time. I just didn't want to deal with that again. But that morning, the girl who led it said, "I don't know why. I just feel like we're supposed to listen to this CD quietly today." And this song was on it... and it was absolutely a message from God. The first half spoke to my frustration of being unable to communicate: "No matter how I try, I can't thank you enough." The second half was God responding to me, telling me: "You don't have to do a thing, just sit and be with me and let those things go." I sat in a corner of the room, listening to the song, tears streaming down my face, so relieved that God was telling me he really didn't care how hard I was pushing myself, how hard I was working to connect with him on my own... he just wanted me to be there with him. No pressure. No hoops to jump through. He just wanted me there.
20. "I'd Give It All For You" from Songs for a New World
Sometimes you hear a song and it suddenly takes on a whole new context. I was listening to this one day and it suddenly hit me as a song between God and me, during a time when I was kind of on the run from God and not wanting to really connect with him. The guy's part is sung from God to me (although it's a little shakier and more vulnerable than God probably is, I do like that kind of aspect - that God loves me enough that it does distress him when I run from him) and the girl's part is me to God, realizing that I needed to go back to him.
21. "Music of Heaven" by Jason Robert Brown
My all-time favorite worship song. Man, talk about a description of a specific experience... This song is about having so many analytical, cynical barriers up during worship that you find yourself unable to reach God... but desperately, *desperately* wanting to. This song breaks me down every time I hear it. It's so beautiful.
22. "And Now My Lifesong Sings" by Casting Crowns
The one that gave me the idea for this whole playlist to begin with. As I said in chat, I love how simple and sweet this is. No emotional manipulation, just a quiet declaration of praise.
23. "I Feel So Much Spring" from A New Brain
This song has just recently become a favorite. It's become one of my favorite "life is good" songs. I love the metaphors used to describe the different feelings of happiness. There's *so much* joy in this song. It's become one of my very favorite worship songs of deep contentment and praise.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Some Thoughts on Christian Music
All right. Most people who know me already know this about me, but for those who don't and keep getting surprised when I say something about this, I wanted to write up something about my stance on this so when people ask, I have an easy place to point them to.
Here's the deal: I am a Christian, but I really dislike Christian music.
This tends to surprise (and occasionally dismay) my Christian friends, so I wanted to give a bit of an explanation here.
I used to like it. I didn't really get into music at all until middle school, and at that point wasn't allowed to listen to anything but Christian music, so I devoured all I could. I bought SO many Christian CDs, even artists I'd never heard of (but their cover art looked SO COOL) and listened to Christian radio all the time. As I got older and started listening to other stuff beyond just what the Christian music industry was making, I began realizing that a lot of the Christian stuff I liked... I didn't really like anymore. The sound wasn't as good as I remembered, the singing wasn't as good, and while the lyrics did technically state things I agreed with, almost none of them touched me emotionally.
I don't remember a specific point where I stopped liking Christian music. No big epiphany or anything. It just kind of came on gradually. I kept buying the WoW compilation albums and the new albums from my favorite artists, but after one or two listens I'd find nothing in any of the songs really meant much of anything to me. I have a whole bunch of Christian CDs sitting around somewhere that I have never finished listening to.
Let me quickly note that this had nothing to do with how my personal relationship with God was going. In fact, this all started happening right after high school, shortly after I recommitted my life to God. At first I felt like a bad Christian, recommitting to God and then finding that I didn't like any of the songs people were singing about him. Heh. And as I've continued to grow closer to God, I *still* don't like most of these songs (but I don't feel guilty about it anymore).
The main two reasons I feel spiritually disconnected from most Christian music (there are many, but then this blog would be forever long, so here are the biggies):
1. It doesn't tackle the tough stuff.
This is changing a little bit, and there have always been a few artists unafraid to deal with the melancholy (Jars of Clay and Nichole Nordeman come to mind), but for the most part, Christian music is incredibly upbeat. It rarely acknowledges feelings of doubt, anxiety, anger at God or unexplained distance from Him, all of which I have dealt with and still deal with today. I began to feel that either the musicians were being dishonest about feeling close to God all the time, or they honestly never (or seldom) had these feelings, which meant they had a relationship with God that I couldn't identify with at all.
I said to someone recently that sometimes the worst part of dealing with depression or severe melancholia is feeling that you're all alone in this, and the Christian music I listened to only enforced that feeling: that either I was the only Christian with these feelings, or my responsibility was to just shove them down and ignore them and then I wouldn't feel them anymore.
For a religious group that focuses so much on the idea of humans as flawed, sinful beings, we seem to be very afraid to actually deal with that in our music.
2. It's very impersonal.
Sometimes I hear a silly pop love ballad on the radio and think, "Well, that was clearly written with nobody specific in mind." There's no sense of who it's being sung to, as well as no real sense of how the other person actually makes the singer *feel*. It uses words like "love" and "beautiful" and phrases like "I can't live without you" that are so generic they are easily transferrable to anyone in any romantic situation, and couples everywhere whose stories have nothing whatsoever in common can claim, "This is our song."
This is the flip side of a positive intention in Christian music - the desire for it to be universal, the desire to make songs other people can relate to. This is especially true for worship music, which is meant to be sung by a large, diverse group of people - they want it to be something everyone can sing along to and mean it. It's a nice idea. It just doesn't work for me. At all.
One of my very favorite love songs is "Someone Else's Clothes" by Jason Robert Brown, which opens with these lyrics:
I started smiling.
It’s not my style,
But it’s been highly recommended that I smile,
So I’ve been grinning
And, sad to say,
I think I like it.
JRB's one of my favorite musicians because his lyrics are *so* personal and *so* specific. Those lyrics up there don't apply to just anybody - they're about him. They're about someone who's a little grumpy, a little melancholy, and finds himself being (almost begrudgingly) nudged along to a happier way of life by the person he loves. That may not describe everyone. It doesn't entirely describe me (although I do frequently connect to his lyrics). But you can feel his personality through the song, which creates a stronger connection to the song for those who have similar personalities, and paints a delightful picture for those whose personalities are different. He's not singing about an abstract love for someone abstractly beautiful and feeling abstract chills when they abstractly touch. He's singing about himself and someone else, and the song knows exactly who that someone else is.
Christian worship songs all kind of mush into one big pot of cliche stew, where none of the phrases have to mean anything specific, just evoke a vague idea. Sometimes it feels like some sort of fill-in-the-blank madlibs. I once did an experiment where I put all the lyrics of a certain worship band into a randomizer, shuffled them all up, and read the first 10 lines or so out loud. Apart from the fact that it didn't rhyme, my siblings and I all agreed it sounded exactly like any other song from the band. Their lyrics were so interchangeable that it didn't even matter which order they came in.
I don't want love songs with interchangeable lyrics. Those aren't personal or interesting or anything I can even hope to relate to.
In Conclusion...
So. That's the main deal. It's hard for me to find Christian songs or artists to connect with because of those reasons. I find myself feeling frustrated and alienated by most of them, like these people are living in a world I've never been to and having a relationship with God I've only experienced on the occasional missions trip.
Ending on a positive note, here are a few Christian songs that *do* connect to me and my relationship to God:
1. Brian & Jenn Johnson - A Little Longer. There's a story behind this one. I'll share it sometime.
2. Chris Rice - I Need a Hero. Can't find a good link, unfortunately.
And, as an added bonus, a few not-at-all-Christian songs that make me feel close to God:
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