The Quest for Skye: Chapter 7

Recap: Nothing really happened in the last chapter, except Morgan and Tammy hung out with Skye and then Morgan tried to witness to Doctor L. L. Today's schedule is apparently Skye, Skye, and more Skye. Gee, I can't wait. I haven't been told enough by the author yet how amazing and witty and compassionate and profound she is.

Morgan and Tammy are awakened from their morning shaving and coffee (respectively) by Skye pounding on their door, insisting that they go explore the ship NOW.

Yup, super polite child.

Turns out she got up at 5 to go work out with Gym Kim and her fiance Zack.

“You know Kim and Zack?” Morgan made a strange face.

“I sure do. Zack’s a hunk.” She patted her heart. 

Morgan rolled his eyes, grinning. “Zack’s a hunk, huh?” 

“Yup.” 

“I’m a hunk, too!” Morgan said flexing his muscles and realizing his face was still lathered with shaving crème.

I dub this the CREEPIEST CHILD-ADULT INTERACTION SO FAR.

"Your parents put me in charge of you for the day. Notice how hot I am!" Seriously, even as a joke, that's a weird thing to say to a child. Especially a child you met yesterday.

Also, what is this "strange face"? I choose to think it was this one:

Fortunately, Skye ignores his creepy attempt to draw attention to his attractiveness by explaining that doctors can't be hunks.

Skye hollered, “Come on, let’s go!”

She's hollering? Right now all I can hear is Lilo from Lilo and Stitch, who was one of the most annoying movie children ever because all she did was yell. Her parents need to teach her to use her inside voice.

Morgan and Tammy do the worst awkward flirting in the world, and then they all go around the ship, exploring it (though why? Skye and Morgan did all that yesterday). They eventually run into Doctor Layland Leontiou:

“I’m surprised to see you. What are the chances we would run into each other on this huge ship?” Morgan sounded surprised.

“Actually, the chances are very good. Skye has a GPS tracking device on her. See her bracelet? It tells me where she is at all times.”

And this is why he lets his daughter go off with random men. Because at least he can track her. Although it was pretty dumb of him to just cheerfully admit this to the man who's going to take his daughter off the boat to another country the next day. That's how kidnappings happen and you don't even realize they're gone for hours, possibly days.

Doctor L. L. asks Tammy to come meet some of the other speakers, and Skye wants to go play checkers with Morgan. Then this bizarre exchange happens.

“Before you get too excited, Dr. Hamilton, let me tell you, Skye has rarely lost a game of checkers,” her father boasted.

“You’re kidding, right?” Morgan crossed his arms.

“No, you’ll see.” Layland glared.

The heck?

That got really hostile out of nowhere. Though actually I suspect this means that J. L. Rothdiener simply doesn't know what "glared" means.

Instead of playing checkers, Skye wanders into a "crew only" section because she wants to get a picture on the deck of the ship. But before we get to that, I have to address this weird bit of writing:

In broken English, someone greeted them from the deck above, “Good morning, Skye.”

...That's not broken English. That's perfectly acceptable English. I looked ahead to see if the character was going to speak in broken English later, but nope, every single sentence is pretty much spot-on. I suspect what was meant was that the character had an accent of some kind, but... COME ON, DUDE. SOMETIMES KNOWING WORDS IS HELPFUL FOR WRITING BOOKS.

Anyway, Skye wants to take a Titanic "king of the world" picture. And the book then devotes like four entire pages to this endeavor.

I do want to complain about something minor, not because it's a ridiculous thing that could never happen in this story, but because it hasn't been done successfully.

This book was released in 2013 and doesn't indicate that it's set in the past. Therefore, Skye was not born when Titanic came out. In an earlier scene, she referenced "Beam me up, Scotty" from the original Star Trek. While it is obviously not unthinkable that she would have watched these things years after they were released, it is unlikely that she would have caught on to iconic moments from these two. When kids watch things, they tend to latch on to what they like best, not what the culture remembers (certainly not if the pop culture memory of it was years before they were born).

The author is writing things that he remembers without even bothering to point out that Skye's viewing material is somewhat... unlikely for her age, and that she's somehow pulled out culturally-remembered parts of them at age nine. (Especially one that was never actually said in the original. Kirk never said, "Beam me up, Scotty," so clearly that came from a cultural memory, rather than an actual viewing.) Heck, this is even a great Mary Sue opportunity ("She's such an old soul! She loves movies and TV so much older than she is! She's so deep!") and the fact that it was missed indicates that it wasn't really thought about.

Skye and Morgan walk to the very end of the boat, where apparently they can fall into the water if they're not careful, and then Skye tells Morgan she's going to get on his shoulders at the edge of the boat, because that's super safe, and apparently Captain Broken English is all super cool with this as he's taking the picture for them. Finally the picture is taken. FOUR PAGES LATER.

Morgan reveals he's afraid of water, they go get Tammy, and Morgan plays checkers with Skye. He loses.

“I believe Dr. Leontiou warned you not to play checkers with her,” Tammy teased, trying not to laugh.

He did. He even got weirdly angry about it.

After spending FOUR FREAKING PAGES on the saga of Getting a Titanic Picture, we then zoom through the rest of their afternoon:

The three of them rock climbed, which still didn’t tire the child. 

Mid-afternoon they played shuffleboard with two elderly couples and then a game of miniature golf. 

They must have walked around the outside of the ship at least four times[.]

Those three sentences are all right next to each other. We get no more information than that. I guess that's not nearly as important as duplicating famous scenes from Titanic.

Then they go to the onboard water slide, which I was going to ridicule, but no, they totally have those, which is awesome. Morgan is freaking out about the water slide because of not liking water. Tammy offers to hold Skye's bracelet for her, but Skye says it doesn't come off.

“That’s some bracelet. I guess your father really doesn’t want to lose you,” Tammy stated.

“No. He says he’s going to keep me.”

 "I made him promise me that the last time he dropped me off at some random person's house for a couple days."

Skye tells Morgan he has to go down the water slide and goes down herself. Morgan freaks out at the top of the slide for awhile. Not only has he never gone down a water slide himself, he's apparently never seen anyone else go on any sort of amusement ride, because:

“Why was she screaming?” he asked, taking a step back.

She's screaming because that's what one does when one goes down a giant slide or rides a rollercoaster or anything like that. Or well, enough people do that that it shouldn't be a huge shock to him. Anyway, the girl at the top of the ride finally gets him to go down the slide and he does, screaming all the way. When he gets to the bottom, there's an official ship photographer taking a picture of him, and Skye and Tammy taunt him for screaming like a girl.

Because that is how you get people to embrace their fears, right? Yelling at them until they do it and then humiliate them immediately afterward for doing it wrong?

Morgan and Tammy take Skye back to her room, where she recounts her day to Maya, the housekeeper:

“It was great! Tammy and Morgan took me to the big pool, Splash Mountain, and we even took a king of the world picture at the bow of the ship.”

“Did you? I thought that area was off limits,” she glanced at the girl over her glasses. 

“Evidently, not if you know the captain of the ship,” Morgan murmured.

It's not about knowing the captain of the ship, silly. It's about having AMAZING MARY SUE POWERS. That is how you not only get into forbidden areas, but get the captain himself to cheerfully take a picture of you in a precarious pose in the most dangerous part of those forbidden areas.

Turning back to the child, Maya added, “Oh, that’s right, you know him well.”

What? Why does she know him well? She has been on the ship two days. If she knows anyone well in those two days, it's Morgan, seeing as how they've been attached at the hip the whole time. Does she know him from beforehand? Did the captain also kidnap her to another country to kiss dolphins? Did her parents leave her at his house for awhile?

Maya smiled, and continued folding the clothes. “Skye is only nine, but she seems much older.”

“Is she always that polite?” Tammy asked.

“Always! She never argues about anything. She... Well to put it bluntly, she’s too good to be true. I sometimes wonder if one day she’ll rebel. However, I don’t think she will. She’s the real deal. I’ve never heard or seen her do anything wrong. She lives to help people and make them happy.”

NO, FOR REAL GUYS, SHE'S SUPER SPESHUL

SHE'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG

SHE IS ALWAYS POLITE ENOUGH TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE FOR BRAVELY GOING AHEAD WITH SOMETHING THAT TERRIFIES THEM

Tammy says Skye's been raised well, and Maya quickly explains that, actually, she believes Skye is "divinely gifted." What makes her think this?

“She hardly ever walks past someone without paying them a compliment, or finding something positive to say to them.”

Because apparently you can't be a frequent compliment giver without being mystically inspired by God. Who knew?

(Incidentally, I don't know that she's actually paid Morgan a compliment this entire time. She's mostly just pushy and bossy with him. And she makes fun of his fear of water.)

Morgan and Tammy go back to their room, talk more about how amazing and special and energetic and sweet and perfect Skye is, and fall asleep.

I am 18% of the way through this book. We have so much Skye left. UGGGGGH.

(Chapter 8.)

Depression: When Everything Bad Happens Because You Suck

Sometimes when I'm depressed, everything becomes negatively self-centered.

I'm occasionally not very good at dealing with failure anyway, but when I'm depressed, every single thing I fail to do or do incorrectly becomes a generalized internal statement about how rotten I am.

"I don't know the answer to that question" turns into "I'm so stupid."

"I phrased that wrong" turns into "I never do anything right."

Even things that are entirely outside my control, like my level of arthritis pain, reflect back on me and who I am. "My arthritis is really bad today" ends up turning into "I'm useless and can't do anything."

When I'm depressed, if someone disagrees with me, I may just burst into tears and freak them out, because a part of me hears "Actually, I like this movie better" as "You're a stupid idiot for having that opinion."

That's hard to combat. Either I have to make every single decision and perform every task perfectly every time so I receive nothing but praise (which, HA, is never going to happen, because nobody can do that) or I have to find a way of combating the bad thoughts.

Remembering past praise is one way I try to do this. I don't remember if I've shared this before on this blog, but I have a big ol' Word document on my computer where I have written down pretty much every positive, encouraging thing someone has said about me in the past 5-6 years. I read through that document on a pretty frequent basis. It really helps to see page after page of affirmation, of encouragement, of compliments, because while I may not believe any of them individually at the time, several pages of positivity can help to at least balance out, if not entirely counteract, the negativity in my head.

And sometimes I'll just come right out and ask for people to combat that. Every couple months it's not surprising at all to see a Facebook status from me saying, "Having a weird day. I could really use some positive words of affirmation and encouragement. Thanks."

But sometimes I just have wait it out and continue to tell myself, "That's not true. You're not stupid. You're not worthless. That's just the depression talking. You will feel better eventually. Just get through it."

And, eventually, I do.

Friendliness vs. Privacy

For those of you who follow my blog series where I'm snarkily reading through what may be the worst Christian book of all time, you saw my frustration when in this last chapter, a little girl was raved about for being exceedingly polite to people based solely on these two qualities: 1) she opened doors for people, and 2) she greeted everyone she saw and talked to them and was generally very friendly.

It irked me specifically because it ties into the big introverson/extroversion divide in the U.S., and I thought I'd share a few thoughts on it.

I read an interesting observation about introverts once. (I don't remember now where it was that I read this and my Google-fu has failed me, so if you recognize it, please let me know!) It talked about the way that "friendliness" is viewed by extroverts, and therefore by most of the U.S., as the cardinal virtue, and, more specifically, the kindest thing you can do for somebody. The assumption is that if you are friendly, you are kind, because someone being friendly to you is the ultimate act of compassion and love. The piece I read contrasted it to more reserved societies, where the assumption is flipped: the kindest thing someone can do for you is grant you your privacy and not intrude.

This, I think, is one of the key reasons why introverts and extroverts sometimes stereotype each other. It's why introverts may think of extroverts as obnoxious, and extroverts may think of introverts as stuck-up and unlikable. It's because of these two completely different value sets.

In many cases, friendliness may not be the kindest thing for someone. I remember days in college when I dreaded leaving my dorm room to get food because I worried someone would want to chat, and I just couldn't deal with it that day. So I'd put on headphones, stare down at the ground, and pray nobody ignored the "please don't talk to me right now" signs by tapping me on the shoulder and forcing themselves into my space. While they may have seen it as a kindness, it was all I could do to keep a smile on my face and respond politely to their questions.

They may have meant to help me, but they hurt me. Those people who did this consistently, over and over again, even when I specifically, clearly requested time alone, lost my trust and my affection. Their insistence that friendliness would always pleasant for me was not only misguided, but actually, in some cases, damaged what could have been a good friendship.

On the flip side, privacy is not always the kindest thing for someone either. I know there have been times where I have made friends feel neglected because I thought leaving them alone would be the kindest thing. I know there have been times where somebody sitting alone in the cafeteria probably wanted someone to sit with them, and I instead left them to themselves and sat by myself.

So here's the question: How can you tell the difference?

How can I tell when I need to be friendly and how can extroverts tell when they need to give me privacy?

Well, for one thing, you can just ask. "Do you want some space?" and "Do you want to talk?" are both completely valid, non-imposing questions. The key here is that whatever they answer, you accept that. You leave them alone politely if they say they'd rather be by themselves, and you sit and spend time with them if they say they'd love to talk.

Sometimes you have to read a little body language. I did everything I could to convey the idea that I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not making eye contact, walking quickly past people, headphones, a book (I'm always astonished by how many people think it's totally OK to interrupt someone reading a book with headphones on just to chat with them - they're clearly occupied). When I'm more in the mood to chat, I'll make eye contact with people, smile, watch the people around me, and even if I may check my phone every now and then, I won't be involved in anything really focus-consuming.

Sometimes you'll just guess, and sometimes you'll be wrong. In that case, as soon as you find out you're wrong (they write a Facebook status about being alone, they stiffen up as you hug them, they give you short answers and go back to their book, they text you and say "I feel like I never see you anymore"), you can go back and do what you now know is the right answer. Offer to spend some time together and talk about stuff. Back off, tell them you hope they have a good day, and leave them alone.

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" works as a general principle, but there are so many different character traits and personality types in the world, assuming your favorite thing is everyone's favorite thing is going to lead to some major issues. Instead, just as you want people to take your preferences and your personality into account when determining how to treat you, take other people's preferences into account when determining how to treat them.

As a final thought, please don't make the same mistake that book author made in Friday's blog. Those who are friendly are not better people than those who grant people their space. Gregariousness is not more instantly worthy of a reward than reservedness. Friendliness doesn't make someone a good person any more than blondness, tallness, or geekiness does.

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 6

Recap: Doctor Morgan Hamilton met up with a 9-year-old Mary Sue named Skye Leontiou, whose parents, in a brilliant display of good parenting, have decided to hand her off to spend time with Morgan (a stranger to them) all week. Right now, Morgan and Tammy and Skye are on their way to... see a show, I think.

In the brief time they knew her, Morgan and Tammy were amazed at the politeness, to say nothing of the energy, of the young child.

NO NO NO NO.

This child is not polite. She is bold and confident, sure, but she's not polite. She commands people all over the place, from demanding they move out of the way to demanding a couple sit apart from each other so she can sit in between them both. I mean, yes, she's not running up and down the aisles of the ship screaming about going to Jamaica like those obnoxious Disney World brats in the second chapter, but she's hardly a polite child. She's a pretty pushy one. I mean, I'll grant you that plenty of kids are pushy, but it's the non-pushy ones that get called "polite." Because they're the ones that might be.

The politeness they refer to here is 1) opening doors for the elderly, and 2) being friendly to everyone. (Which makes me want to launch into a whole other introversion/extroversion rant about how friendliness does not equal politeness and in some cases actually equals rudeness, but that's a story for another day. Maybe I'll tackle that in Monday's blog post.)

Skye knows pretty much everyone on the boat, which astounds Morgan and Tammy. And me too, a bit. This is only the first day of their cruise, and she's spent like half of it with the Hamiltons. She must have met everyone else while Morgan was meeting Gym Kim.

Skye falls asleep as soon as the show's main act begins, and Morgan and Tammy quasi-creepily watch her in her sleep.

When the show was over, everybody exited the theater— except Morgan, Tammy, and the dozing girl. Neither adult said a word, watching the sleeping angel they’d only known for half a day.

I don't know what kind of seating this theater is, but I'm really amused by the idea of them being in an aisle seat but being unwilling to wake Skye up, so everyone in their aisle has to go out the other side and keeps giving them death glares.

Eventually, they pick her up and carry her back to her room.

When he reached Skye’s suite, he knocked quietly on the door. Her father opened the door, a broad smile covering his face.

Challenge for you all: Open every door this week with a broad smile covering your face. This is even more fun if you are in, say, a cruise ship cabin and have no way of seeing who is outside and knowing whether you want to see them or not but you still want to make sure they know right away that you are friendly (and therefore polite).

“Your daughter is an exceptional young lady.”

The doctor drew a loud breath. “You don’t know just how special she is.”

"Drew a loud breath"? So... he inhaled really loudly? Like a gasp? Why is he gasping at this? Why is he choosing to gasp loudly with his sleeping child in his arms?

I complained about this to Jacob, who suggested he sighed super loudly, but that doesn't make any sense either, and generally drawing a breath implies inhaling, not exhaling. Jacob's final comment was, "Well, I don't think he meant what he said," to which I responded, "I KNOW HE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID, BECAUSE WHAT HE SAID DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Another friend helpfully asked if maybe they were playing abstract Pictionary. That makes... just about as much sense as what I think actually happened.

Doctor Layland Leontiou thanks Morgan for randomly babysitting Skye for the next several days.

“By the way, kissing a dolphin is something Skye has wanted to do for years. I don’t understand why, but she does. I wish I could take her, but Tuesday’s meeting is too important.” He emphasized the words “too important.”

This chapter is just full of characters saying mediocre things in stupid ways. Once again, I challenge you guys to say it like this without it sounding pretty stupid: "Tuesday's meeting is TOO IMPORTANT."

Morgan raves about Skye's "servant's heart" (another phrase I've never heard outside of churchy people that makes me uncertain how much experience Morgan and Tammy actually have with religion), by which he means, once again, that she opens doors and says hello to everyone she meets. These are literally the only two things Skye has done that makes her a "servant." I think it's a little early to be raving about this.

Doctor Layland Leontiou gets all uncomfortable and asks if Skye has witnessed to Morgan yet.

Morgan wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “Um, no. But she does talk about God quite a bit. And she seems to pray a lot.”

Well, she's prayed once, anyway, but that prayer stunned an entire table into silence, so maybe it counts as two prayers.

We finally find out why Skye is so religious while her parents aren't: They "left her at a missionary's house for a short time" three years ago. Given how lax her parents are about supervising who she's being left with, all I can imagine is that they were out somewhere, wanted to go to a club, dropped their six-year-old off at a random person's house, went partying, then came back and picked her up.

Ever since then, Skye's been trying to save everyone. Morgan asks if it's worked.

The doctor took a step closer. “My wife has no religious affiliation. In fact, you may consider her agnostic. You probably noticed that my wife is much younger than me— fifteen years to be exact. I met her at a medical convention in Sweden where I was a guest speaker.”

Uh, that's nice. Are younger people who go to Swedish medical conventions more likely to be agnostic?

Morgan cast a look in the direction of Skye’s room. There were no sounds. He was glad for a few minutes alone with the physician.

...Why?

Why does he want to be alone with Doctor Layland Leontiou?

Is he going to kiss him?

Is he going to ask him to tell him all of Skye's and Malinda's secrets?

Doctor Layland Leontiou explains he technically belongs to the Greek Orthodox Church but doesn't practice because "Business and religion aren't a good mix," which I would have thought just meant he shouldn't... well, mix them, but apparently it means the two can't both be in your life in separate areas.

Morgan remembers being a deacon and a Sunday school teacher (finally answering the question of exactly how religious he used to be) and tells Doctor Layland Leontiou vaguely that, "Loving God is the answer." Doctor L. L. tells him he doesn't really have time to figure out God stuff. Morgan starts arguing that he should get saved, and it's all very generic and not really worth quoting, until Doctor L. L. finally politely shepherds him out of his room and says goodbye.

Leontiou touched Morgan’s shoulder. “One more thing, Sir, please make sure Skye keeps her sunscreen on and drinks plenty of water.”

“I’ll take care of her as if she were mine. Trust me, she’s in good hands.”

“I know she is, otherwise, I wouldn’t let her go.”

And, at the very end of the chapter, Doctor L. L. tries desperately to convince the audience that he is not a terrible father, despite the fact that he makes fake plans to his daughter and eagerly passes her off to anyone who's willing to take care of her instead. For days.

(Chapter 7.)

Top 5, Bottom 5: Musicals

It's hard to believe I haven't already done one of these for my favorite musical movies, but it appears I haven't. So here's the list, out of 214 movie musicals and 1956 total movies I've ranked on Flickchart.

Top 5:
1. Moulin Rouge! (2001, #3). I absolutely love what this movie does visually during the musical numbers. It takes the primary emotion of the music, gives it visual representation, and amps it up to like 10,000. Highlights: "Your Song" and "El Tango de Roxanne."
2. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008, #5). The movie that made me fall in love with both Joss Whedon and Neil Patrick Harris. These songs are not only musically interesting, they're very lyrically complex. The musical commentary is nearly as good as the original feature.
3. Beauty and the Beast (1991, #6). My favorite Disney flick and my favorite fairy tale. Great musical numbers in this one as well, from cheerful flashy numbers like "Be Our Guest" to the super dark ominous sound of "The Mob Song."
4. Singin' in the Rain (1952, #7). This is a near-perfect movie. In fact, aside from the lengthy and mostly-uninteresting "Broadway Melody" number at the end, I'd argue this pretty much is a perfect movie. So much happiness in all the songs and dances!
5. This Is Spinal Tap (1984, #10). The first one that probably most people don't think of as a musical. It's a spectacularly funny movie with lots of subtle humor that keeps creeping up on me. It might be a little high on my list these days, but I still really enjoy it.

Bottom 5:
1. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978, #1951). Oh, man, this is a painful one. Let's not even think about this one again.
2. 101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure (2003, #1919). I don't even remember there being songs in this one, so clearly they weren't terribly interesting or important.
3. Tarzan II (2005, #1915). Or in this one. I don't remember this movie at all, just that I thought it was extremely stupid.
4. Frosty Returns (1992, #1907). Oh, wait, I think this one did have like one song. I really like the original Frosty the Snowman cartoon, but this one is dumb and awful and ridiculous.
5. Oklahoma! (1955, #1890). I figured this one would show up. It's easily my least favorite stage musical of all time. I hate everything about it - the annoying but forever catchy songs, the obnoxious characters, and the dialogue and plot development that makes no sense from beginning to end. Ugh.

Music Videos That Make Me Feel Better

Sometimes I just have a really bad day. Depression starts to rear its ugly head again, or a series of bad circumstances and frustrations leaves me feeling helpless and angry, or I'm worried about something and can't focus on anything else.

Whatever the reason the day is bad, I find music is one of the most helpful tools for me. If I can really engross myself in something musical, I can find release for a little while and come back a little bit more mentally prepared to deal with the emotions.

Depending on how bad a day I'm having, though, sometimes I can't just put on an iTunes playlist and calm myself. I need to, in a way, overwhelm my senses. I need to have something to listen to and look at. I've discovered in the last year that watching video + listening to music can be a lot more powerful than just music when it comes to fighting off horribleness.

With that in mind, I have begun compiling a playlist of "Music to Heal My Soul" on YouTube. I am filling it with music videos and clips and performances that fill me up in one way or another.

Sometimes it fills me up with joy because I can't help but smile as I watch it:

Sometimes it fills me with cathartic sadness by allowing me to cry for somebody else:

Sometimes it's a beautifully performed song that keeps me spellbound from beginning to end:



Sometimes it's a classy, elegant dance number:



And there are a few things in there that I don't exactly know why I love them so much, they just make me feel better:



I only have a couple dozen videos in the list right now, but I'm going through some of my favorite musical performances from musical movies, concerts, actual music videos (though I don't know that many of those will be in there... maybe some OK Go, though)... pretty much anything. The goal is to have a nice big collection of videos I can go to on days when I just need whatever emotions are in me to replaced by... something else. And these clips are guaranteed to do that.

If you want to check out my playlist as I add to it, it is here.

If you were making a playlist like this for yourself, what would you include?

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 5

Recap: Our protagonists, Doctor Morgan Hamilton and Doctor Layland Leontiou, have met. They have met because of Doctor Layland Leontiou's obnoxiously precocious and oh-so-adorable-and-undoubtedly-life-changing daughter Skye. Doctor Morgan Hamilton and Tammy are going to have dinner with Doctor Layland Leontiou, Malinda, and Skye. I just can't wait to have this child around for another chapter.

This chapter opens with:

The lowering sun and the right amount of clouds hinted a spectacular sunset.

But it's just a hint. No actual spectacular sunset for you guys! Just know that the sun is lowering, and there are the right amount of clouds (everybody should comment with what they think that number might be), and those are all the hints you get.

Doctor Morgan Hamilton meets the maitre d', whose name is "Dimitrrri." With three Rs. Because all the boys in his family were named after his father, Dimitri, each kid with an extra R. Doctor Morgan Hamilton talks to Dimitrrri for awhile about absolutely nothing relevant to anything, then Skye shows up, demands the Hamiltons come sit with her family, drags them over to their table and sits in between them while the Leontious smile pleasantly at how cute and bold and confident and witty their daughter is.

This is all reminiscent of those awful children running around the plane screaming in the second chapter. Rothdiener thinks obnoxious children are adorable children. Fun fact: they're not. Also, "Leontious" should probably be pronounced "Leon-shuss."

There's another couple at their table:

Dr. Leontiou continued with the introductions. “You’ve probably heard of Doctor Samuel Roberts, and his wife, Doctor Elizabeth Roberts.”

OH MY GOSH IT'S A LADY DOCTOR

Albeit a lady doctor who is, of course, married to a man doctor. But, hey, we're taking steps. At least he's willing to give a female doctor a title at all.

There's also a Dr. Laurence Whitman here - one of the few times when Rothdiener says "Dr." instead of "Doctor." Most of the time, it is spelled all the way out.

Tammy is flabbergasted by the presence of all these people.

“I heard there was a medical convention here, but I never realized to what magnitude. I mean, the four of you have rewritten the medical journals on many childhood diseases.”

Which re-asks the question HOW DID THEY NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Their job requires a fair amount of research. They're working to cure childhood diseases. They should know what's going on in the field. Including major medical conventions full of people they idolize that happen to be on the same ridiculously long cruise they're on.

They are the worst researchers ever. Though I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, since their only accomplishment that we know of is an article persuading people they should care about rare childhood diseases. That probably didn't require all that much research.

Mrs. Whitman shook Tammy’s hand, and then Morgan’s. “I’m the nobody in the group. I’ve never written a book, and I’ve never discovered a cure for anything. I’m just an ordinary housewife.”

Tammy warmly responded, "It's OK, I've done all that my husband has done and more, but I don't get to be called a doctor."

"Yeah," Malinda said, "we're all pretty much in the same boat. Let's go do some dishes or something and let the men discuss things."

Dr. Whitman reassures Mrs. Whitman that she is TOO important because she is a mother, and this gets into a lecture on how important motherhood is. They ask Doctor Morgan Hamilton whether he thinks motherhood is important. He hems and haws and finally says it is important "if and when you have the opportunity to become a mother." Then this happens.

Then without thinking, Dr. Whitman blurted, “I take it you don’t have any children yet. Being in your thirties, I’m sure you know it gets more dangerous to have children the older you get.”

What the heck??

Is Dr. Whitman reprimanding them for not having kids yet?

That came out of nowhere. Way to be sensitive.

Mrs. Whitman apologizes for her husband, and Doctor Morgan Hamilton says, it's OK, he's been asked that question a lot before. Sigh. Come on, Rothdiener. Think. What question? Whether they have kids? Whether they know that it gets dangerous to have children when you're older? Whether motherhood is important? (That last one was the only question they've actually been asked in the last few minutes.) He shares with the group that they can't have kids.

There's awkward silence and then an abrupt transition into the meal. They begin to eat, and Skye immediately reprimands her father for not praying before they eat. Skye prays for the meal, and she prays for a "special blessing" for Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton, which makes Tammy cry.

The others at the table stared at each other in silence— perhaps because of the content of the prayer, perhaps because they prayed at all.

Tammy and Morgan were amazed at the love this little girl showed others. 

They’d rarely seen such compassion in an adult, even less in a child.

OK, let's run through this, shall we?

The content of the prayer was thanking God for food, praying for the hungry, praying for orphans, and praying for Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton.

Yes, it was a loving prayer that mentioned a lot of people beside just herself. That was nice.

However, it's far from The Most Compassionate Thing of All Time. Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton claim to have once been religious, or Christian, or something. Have they seriously never run across somebody who likes to pray for those less fortunate? Or, heck, give something to those less fortunate?

This prayer is pretty generic as far as compassion goes. I mean, yes, it's appreciated, yes, it's sweet, but it's not some superhuman show of compassion.

I think we can only assume that Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton have been socializing entirely with horrible people. It's not unlikely, given that in the midst of a sensitive situation with their current crowd, one colleague reprimanded them for not having children earlier, while another abruptly changed the subject and decided they should eat. Not exactly a group of compassionate supporters.

Poor Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton. And the rest of the crew. Stunned into silence because a little girl did something nice. That says less about the little girl and more about the sad, sad fact that nobody else in their entire existence has apparently ever bothered to do something nice for them.

“Dr. Hamilton.” Layland looked directly at Morgan’s wife.
“Please, call me Tammy.”

"I don't deserve to be called a doctor. The author doesn't think so, anyway."

Doctor Layland Leontiou invites Tammy to speak at the conference on Tuesday. Because I guess they didn't book enough speakers of their own. Skye is devastated that her father wants to go to the conference on Tuesday, because apparently he promised her they were going to "kiss the dolphins" in Jamaica on Tuesday, and they can't do that any other day. (In other news, apparently the Panama Canal cruise is taking 14 days because they're randomly going to Jamaica as well. That wasn't in the brochure...)

Doctor Layland Leontiou responds to these objections:

“I realize that, but Tuesday is the most important day of the conference. I can’t get away and the schedule can’t be changed. You know that.”

THEN WHY THE HECK DID HE MAKE THAT PROMISE? Why did he actively promise his daughter he would spend the day with her on what he knew was the most important day of the conference? And, for that matter, this whole "the schedule can't be changed" thing is a lie. Obviously the schedule can be changed, because Tammy's randomly speaking at this thing now.

I think Doctor Layland Leontiou just doesn't want to play with dolphins with his daughter, so he deliberately scheduled it for a day he couldn't make it.

Tammy, on the other hand, suddenly volunteers Doctor Morgan Hamilton to take Skye to play with dolphins. Malinda warns him that Skye talks way too much and suggests that he spend all day with Skye tomorrow to decide whether or not he actually wants to spend time with her again the day after that. (Um. Sure. That makes sense.)

At the end of the meal, Doctor Layland Leontiou has a book signing, and so he can't take Skye to the cruise theater, and she doesn't want to join the group of kids who are going. Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton offer to take her instead. Because apparently they won't be spending enough time with her over the next two days.

Next chapter: more Skye! And more! And more! Probably! Fortunately, I got the idea from the synopsis that she gets sick and dies, so maybe that will happen sooner rather than later. Maybe she gets a rare dolphin kissing disease.

(Chapter 6.)