Friday, August 16, 2013

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 6

Recap: Doctor Morgan Hamilton met up with a 9-year-old Mary Sue named Skye Leontiou, whose parents, in a brilliant display of good parenting, have decided to hand her off to spend time with Morgan (a stranger to them) all week. Right now, Morgan and Tammy and Skye are on their way to... see a show, I think.
In the brief time they knew her, Morgan and Tammy were amazed at the politeness, to say nothing of the energy, of the young child.

This child is not polite. She is bold and confident, sure, but she's not polite. She commands people all over the place, from demanding they move out of the way to demanding a couple sit apart from each other so she can sit in between them both. I mean, yes, she's not running up and down the aisles of the ship screaming about going to Jamaica like those obnoxious Disney World brats in the second chapter, but she's hardly a polite child. She's a pretty pushy one. I mean, I'll grant you that plenty of kids are pushy, but it's the non-pushy ones that get called "polite." Because they're the ones that might be.

The politeness they refer to here is 1) opening doors for the elderly, and 2) being friendly to everyone. (Which makes me want to launch into a whole other introversion/extroversion rant about how friendliness does not equal politeness and in some cases actually equals rudeness, but that's a story for another day. Maybe I'll tackle that in Monday's blog post.)

Skye knows pretty much everyone on the boat, which astounds Morgan and Tammy. And me too, a bit. This is only the first day of their cruise, and she's spent like half of it with the Hamiltons. She must have met everyone else while Morgan was meeting Gym Kim.

Skye falls asleep as soon as the show's main act begins, and Morgan and Tammy quasi-creepily watch her in her sleep.
When the show was over, everybody exited the theater— except Morgan, Tammy, and the dozing girl. Neither adult said a word, watching the sleeping angel they’d only known for half a day.
I don't know what kind of seating this theater is, but I'm really amused by the idea of them being in an aisle seat but being unwilling to wake Skye up, so everyone in their aisle has to go out the other side and keeps giving them death glares.

Eventually, they pick her up and carry her back to her room.
When he reached Skye’s suite, he knocked quietly on the door. Her father opened the door, a broad smile covering his face.
Challenge for you all: Open every door this week with a broad smile covering your face. This is even more fun if you are in, say, a cruise ship cabin and have no way of seeing who is outside and knowing whether you want to see them or not but you still want to make sure they know right away that you are friendly (and therefore polite).
“Your daughter is an exceptional young lady.”
The doctor drew a loud breath. “You don’t know just how special she is.”
"Drew a loud breath"? So... he inhaled really loudly? Like a gasp? Why is he gasping at this? Why is he choosing to gasp loudly with his sleeping child in his arms?

I complained about this to Jacob, who suggested he sighed super loudly, but that doesn't make any sense either, and generally drawing a breath implies inhaling, not exhaling. Jacob's final comment was, "Well, I don't think he meant what he said," to which I responded, "I KNOW HE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID, BECAUSE WHAT HE SAID DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Another friend helpfully asked if maybe they were playing abstract Pictionary. That makes... just about as much sense as what I think actually happened.

Doctor Layland Leontiou thanks Morgan for randomly babysitting Skye for the next several days.
“By the way, kissing a dolphin is something Skye has wanted to do for years. I don’t understand why, but she does. I wish I could take her, but Tuesday’s meeting is too important.” He emphasized the words “too important.”
This chapter is just full of characters saying mediocre things in stupid ways. Once again, I challenge you guys to say it like this without it sounding pretty stupid: "Tuesday's meeting is TOO IMPORTANT."

Morgan raves about Skye's "servant's heart" (another phrase I've never heard outside of churchy people that makes me uncertain how much experience Morgan and Tammy actually have with religion), by which he means, once again, that she opens doors and says hello to everyone she meets. These are literally the only two things Skye has done that makes her a "servant." I think it's a little early to be raving about this.

Doctor Layland Leontiou gets all uncomfortable and asks if Skye has witnessed to Morgan yet.
Morgan wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “Um, no. But she does talk about God quite a bit. And she seems to pray a lot.”
Well, she's prayed once, anyway, but that prayer stunned an entire table into silence, so maybe it counts as two prayers.

We finally find out why Skye is so religious while her parents aren't: They "left her at a missionary's house for a short time" three years ago. Given how lax her parents are about supervising who she's being left with, all I can imagine is that they were out somewhere, wanted to go to a club, dropped their six-year-old off at a random person's house, went partying, then came back and picked her up.

Ever since then, Skye's been trying to save everyone. Morgan asks if it's worked.
The doctor took a step closer. “My wife has no religious affiliation. In fact, you may consider her agnostic. You probably noticed that my wife is much younger than me— fifteen years to be exact. I met her at a medical convention in Sweden where I was a guest speaker.”
Uh, that's nice. Are younger people who go to Swedish medical conventions more likely to be agnostic?
Morgan cast a look in the direction of Skye’s room. There were no sounds. He was glad for a few minutes alone with the physician.

Why does he want to be alone with Doctor Layland Leontiou?

Is he going to kiss him?

Is he going to ask him to tell him all of Skye's and Malinda's secrets?

Doctor Layland Leontiou explains he technically belongs to the Greek Orthodox Church but doesn't practice because "Business and religion aren't a good mix," which I would have thought just meant he shouldn't... well, mix them, but apparently it means the two can't both be in your life in separate areas.

Morgan remembers being a deacon and a Sunday school teacher (finally answering the question of exactly how religious he used to be) and tells Doctor Layland Leontiou vaguely that, "Loving God is the answer." Doctor L. L. tells him he doesn't really have time to figure out God stuff. Morgan starts arguing that he should get saved, and it's all very generic and not really worth quoting, until Doctor L. L. finally politely shepherds him out of his room and says goodbye.
Leontiou touched Morgan’s shoulder. “One more thing, Sir, please make sure Skye keeps her sunscreen on and drinks plenty of water.”
“I’ll take care of her as if she were mine. Trust me, she’s in good hands.”
“I know she is, otherwise, I wouldn’t let her go.”
And, at the very end of the chapter, Doctor L. L. tries desperately to convince the audience that he is not a terrible father, despite the fact that he makes fake plans to his daughter and eagerly passes her off to anyone who's willing to take care of her instead. For days.

(Chapter 7.)


  1. This thing is becoming as creepy as it is poorly written. I'm starting to anticipate an episode of To Catch a Predator busting Rothdiener. (Is that show still on? I don't watch TV.) The publisher should fire the editor and hire you. And probably report Rothdiener to a watchdog group or something.

    1. Just wait until chapter 7, where Skye proclaims a character "a hunk," which prompts Morgan to start jokingly informing her how physically attractive he himself is. It is one of the creepiest conversations EVER for a male near-stranger to have with a nine-year-old girl. SO NOT OKAY.