The Quest for Skye: Chapter 6

Recap: Doctor Morgan Hamilton met up with a 9-year-old Mary Sue named Skye Leontiou, whose parents, in a brilliant display of good parenting, have decided to hand her off to spend time with Morgan (a stranger to them) all week. Right now, Morgan and Tammy and Skye are on their way to... see a show, I think.

In the brief time they knew her, Morgan and Tammy were amazed at the politeness, to say nothing of the energy, of the young child.

NO NO NO NO.

This child is not polite. She is bold and confident, sure, but she's not polite. She commands people all over the place, from demanding they move out of the way to demanding a couple sit apart from each other so she can sit in between them both. I mean, yes, she's not running up and down the aisles of the ship screaming about going to Jamaica like those obnoxious Disney World brats in the second chapter, but she's hardly a polite child. She's a pretty pushy one. I mean, I'll grant you that plenty of kids are pushy, but it's the non-pushy ones that get called "polite." Because they're the ones that might be.

The politeness they refer to here is 1) opening doors for the elderly, and 2) being friendly to everyone. (Which makes me want to launch into a whole other introversion/extroversion rant about how friendliness does not equal politeness and in some cases actually equals rudeness, but that's a story for another day. Maybe I'll tackle that in Monday's blog post.)

Skye knows pretty much everyone on the boat, which astounds Morgan and Tammy. And me too, a bit. This is only the first day of their cruise, and she's spent like half of it with the Hamiltons. She must have met everyone else while Morgan was meeting Gym Kim.

Skye falls asleep as soon as the show's main act begins, and Morgan and Tammy quasi-creepily watch her in her sleep.

When the show was over, everybody exited the theater— except Morgan, Tammy, and the dozing girl. Neither adult said a word, watching the sleeping angel they’d only known for half a day.

I don't know what kind of seating this theater is, but I'm really amused by the idea of them being in an aisle seat but being unwilling to wake Skye up, so everyone in their aisle has to go out the other side and keeps giving them death glares.

Eventually, they pick her up and carry her back to her room.

When he reached Skye’s suite, he knocked quietly on the door. Her father opened the door, a broad smile covering his face.

Challenge for you all: Open every door this week with a broad smile covering your face. This is even more fun if you are in, say, a cruise ship cabin and have no way of seeing who is outside and knowing whether you want to see them or not but you still want to make sure they know right away that you are friendly (and therefore polite).

“Your daughter is an exceptional young lady.”

The doctor drew a loud breath. “You don’t know just how special she is.”

"Drew a loud breath"? So... he inhaled really loudly? Like a gasp? Why is he gasping at this? Why is he choosing to gasp loudly with his sleeping child in his arms?

I complained about this to Jacob, who suggested he sighed super loudly, but that doesn't make any sense either, and generally drawing a breath implies inhaling, not exhaling. Jacob's final comment was, "Well, I don't think he meant what he said," to which I responded, "I KNOW HE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID, BECAUSE WHAT HE SAID DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Another friend helpfully asked if maybe they were playing abstract Pictionary. That makes... just about as much sense as what I think actually happened.

Doctor Layland Leontiou thanks Morgan for randomly babysitting Skye for the next several days.

“By the way, kissing a dolphin is something Skye has wanted to do for years. I don’t understand why, but she does. I wish I could take her, but Tuesday’s meeting is too important.” He emphasized the words “too important.”

This chapter is just full of characters saying mediocre things in stupid ways. Once again, I challenge you guys to say it like this without it sounding pretty stupid: "Tuesday's meeting is TOO IMPORTANT."

Morgan raves about Skye's "servant's heart" (another phrase I've never heard outside of churchy people that makes me uncertain how much experience Morgan and Tammy actually have with religion), by which he means, once again, that she opens doors and says hello to everyone she meets. These are literally the only two things Skye has done that makes her a "servant." I think it's a little early to be raving about this.

Doctor Layland Leontiou gets all uncomfortable and asks if Skye has witnessed to Morgan yet.

Morgan wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “Um, no. But she does talk about God quite a bit. And she seems to pray a lot.”

Well, she's prayed once, anyway, but that prayer stunned an entire table into silence, so maybe it counts as two prayers.

We finally find out why Skye is so religious while her parents aren't: They "left her at a missionary's house for a short time" three years ago. Given how lax her parents are about supervising who she's being left with, all I can imagine is that they were out somewhere, wanted to go to a club, dropped their six-year-old off at a random person's house, went partying, then came back and picked her up.

Ever since then, Skye's been trying to save everyone. Morgan asks if it's worked.

The doctor took a step closer. “My wife has no religious affiliation. In fact, you may consider her agnostic. You probably noticed that my wife is much younger than me— fifteen years to be exact. I met her at a medical convention in Sweden where I was a guest speaker.”

Uh, that's nice. Are younger people who go to Swedish medical conventions more likely to be agnostic?

Morgan cast a look in the direction of Skye’s room. There were no sounds. He was glad for a few minutes alone with the physician.

...Why?

Why does he want to be alone with Doctor Layland Leontiou?

Is he going to kiss him?

Is he going to ask him to tell him all of Skye's and Malinda's secrets?

Doctor Layland Leontiou explains he technically belongs to the Greek Orthodox Church but doesn't practice because "Business and religion aren't a good mix," which I would have thought just meant he shouldn't... well, mix them, but apparently it means the two can't both be in your life in separate areas.

Morgan remembers being a deacon and a Sunday school teacher (finally answering the question of exactly how religious he used to be) and tells Doctor Layland Leontiou vaguely that, "Loving God is the answer." Doctor L. L. tells him he doesn't really have time to figure out God stuff. Morgan starts arguing that he should get saved, and it's all very generic and not really worth quoting, until Doctor L. L. finally politely shepherds him out of his room and says goodbye.

Leontiou touched Morgan’s shoulder. “One more thing, Sir, please make sure Skye keeps her sunscreen on and drinks plenty of water.”

“I’ll take care of her as if she were mine. Trust me, she’s in good hands.”

“I know she is, otherwise, I wouldn’t let her go.”

And, at the very end of the chapter, Doctor L. L. tries desperately to convince the audience that he is not a terrible father, despite the fact that he makes fake plans to his daughter and eagerly passes her off to anyone who's willing to take care of her instead. For days.

(Chapter 7.)

Top 5, Bottom 5: Musicals

It's hard to believe I haven't already done one of these for my favorite musical movies, but it appears I haven't. So here's the list, out of 214 movie musicals and 1956 total movies I've ranked on Flickchart.

Top 5:
1. Moulin Rouge! (2001, #3). I absolutely love what this movie does visually during the musical numbers. It takes the primary emotion of the music, gives it visual representation, and amps it up to like 10,000. Highlights: "Your Song" and "El Tango de Roxanne."
2. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008, #5). The movie that made me fall in love with both Joss Whedon and Neil Patrick Harris. These songs are not only musically interesting, they're very lyrically complex. The musical commentary is nearly as good as the original feature.
3. Beauty and the Beast (1991, #6). My favorite Disney flick and my favorite fairy tale. Great musical numbers in this one as well, from cheerful flashy numbers like "Be Our Guest" to the super dark ominous sound of "The Mob Song."
4. Singin' in the Rain (1952, #7). This is a near-perfect movie. In fact, aside from the lengthy and mostly-uninteresting "Broadway Melody" number at the end, I'd argue this pretty much is a perfect movie. So much happiness in all the songs and dances!
5. This Is Spinal Tap (1984, #10). The first one that probably most people don't think of as a musical. It's a spectacularly funny movie with lots of subtle humor that keeps creeping up on me. It might be a little high on my list these days, but I still really enjoy it.

Bottom 5:
1. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978, #1951). Oh, man, this is a painful one. Let's not even think about this one again.
2. 101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure (2003, #1919). I don't even remember there being songs in this one, so clearly they weren't terribly interesting or important.
3. Tarzan II (2005, #1915). Or in this one. I don't remember this movie at all, just that I thought it was extremely stupid.
4. Frosty Returns (1992, #1907). Oh, wait, I think this one did have like one song. I really like the original Frosty the Snowman cartoon, but this one is dumb and awful and ridiculous.
5. Oklahoma! (1955, #1890). I figured this one would show up. It's easily my least favorite stage musical of all time. I hate everything about it - the annoying but forever catchy songs, the obnoxious characters, and the dialogue and plot development that makes no sense from beginning to end. Ugh.

Music Videos That Make Me Feel Better

Sometimes I just have a really bad day. Depression starts to rear its ugly head again, or a series of bad circumstances and frustrations leaves me feeling helpless and angry, or I'm worried about something and can't focus on anything else.

Whatever the reason the day is bad, I find music is one of the most helpful tools for me. If I can really engross myself in something musical, I can find release for a little while and come back a little bit more mentally prepared to deal with the emotions.

Depending on how bad a day I'm having, though, sometimes I can't just put on an iTunes playlist and calm myself. I need to, in a way, overwhelm my senses. I need to have something to listen to and look at. I've discovered in the last year that watching video + listening to music can be a lot more powerful than just music when it comes to fighting off horribleness.

With that in mind, I have begun compiling a playlist of "Music to Heal My Soul" on YouTube. I am filling it with music videos and clips and performances that fill me up in one way or another.

Sometimes it fills me up with joy because I can't help but smile as I watch it:

Sometimes it fills me with cathartic sadness by allowing me to cry for somebody else:

Sometimes it's a beautifully performed song that keeps me spellbound from beginning to end:



Sometimes it's a classy, elegant dance number:



And there are a few things in there that I don't exactly know why I love them so much, they just make me feel better:



I only have a couple dozen videos in the list right now, but I'm going through some of my favorite musical performances from musical movies, concerts, actual music videos (though I don't know that many of those will be in there... maybe some OK Go, though)... pretty much anything. The goal is to have a nice big collection of videos I can go to on days when I just need whatever emotions are in me to replaced by... something else. And these clips are guaranteed to do that.

If you want to check out my playlist as I add to it, it is here.

If you were making a playlist like this for yourself, what would you include?

The Quest for Skye: Chapter 5

Recap: Our protagonists, Doctor Morgan Hamilton and Doctor Layland Leontiou, have met. They have met because of Doctor Layland Leontiou's obnoxiously precocious and oh-so-adorable-and-undoubtedly-life-changing daughter Skye. Doctor Morgan Hamilton and Tammy are going to have dinner with Doctor Layland Leontiou, Malinda, and Skye. I just can't wait to have this child around for another chapter.

This chapter opens with:

The lowering sun and the right amount of clouds hinted a spectacular sunset.

But it's just a hint. No actual spectacular sunset for you guys! Just know that the sun is lowering, and there are the right amount of clouds (everybody should comment with what they think that number might be), and those are all the hints you get.

Doctor Morgan Hamilton meets the maitre d', whose name is "Dimitrrri." With three Rs. Because all the boys in his family were named after his father, Dimitri, each kid with an extra R. Doctor Morgan Hamilton talks to Dimitrrri for awhile about absolutely nothing relevant to anything, then Skye shows up, demands the Hamiltons come sit with her family, drags them over to their table and sits in between them while the Leontious smile pleasantly at how cute and bold and confident and witty their daughter is.

This is all reminiscent of those awful children running around the plane screaming in the second chapter. Rothdiener thinks obnoxious children are adorable children. Fun fact: they're not. Also, "Leontious" should probably be pronounced "Leon-shuss."

There's another couple at their table:

Dr. Leontiou continued with the introductions. “You’ve probably heard of Doctor Samuel Roberts, and his wife, Doctor Elizabeth Roberts.”

OH MY GOSH IT'S A LADY DOCTOR

Albeit a lady doctor who is, of course, married to a man doctor. But, hey, we're taking steps. At least he's willing to give a female doctor a title at all.

There's also a Dr. Laurence Whitman here - one of the few times when Rothdiener says "Dr." instead of "Doctor." Most of the time, it is spelled all the way out.

Tammy is flabbergasted by the presence of all these people.

“I heard there was a medical convention here, but I never realized to what magnitude. I mean, the four of you have rewritten the medical journals on many childhood diseases.”

Which re-asks the question HOW DID THEY NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Their job requires a fair amount of research. They're working to cure childhood diseases. They should know what's going on in the field. Including major medical conventions full of people they idolize that happen to be on the same ridiculously long cruise they're on.

They are the worst researchers ever. Though I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, since their only accomplishment that we know of is an article persuading people they should care about rare childhood diseases. That probably didn't require all that much research.

Mrs. Whitman shook Tammy’s hand, and then Morgan’s. “I’m the nobody in the group. I’ve never written a book, and I’ve never discovered a cure for anything. I’m just an ordinary housewife.”

Tammy warmly responded, "It's OK, I've done all that my husband has done and more, but I don't get to be called a doctor."

"Yeah," Malinda said, "we're all pretty much in the same boat. Let's go do some dishes or something and let the men discuss things."

Dr. Whitman reassures Mrs. Whitman that she is TOO important because she is a mother, and this gets into a lecture on how important motherhood is. They ask Doctor Morgan Hamilton whether he thinks motherhood is important. He hems and haws and finally says it is important "if and when you have the opportunity to become a mother." Then this happens.

Then without thinking, Dr. Whitman blurted, “I take it you don’t have any children yet. Being in your thirties, I’m sure you know it gets more dangerous to have children the older you get.”

What the heck??

Is Dr. Whitman reprimanding them for not having kids yet?

That came out of nowhere. Way to be sensitive.

Mrs. Whitman apologizes for her husband, and Doctor Morgan Hamilton says, it's OK, he's been asked that question a lot before. Sigh. Come on, Rothdiener. Think. What question? Whether they have kids? Whether they know that it gets dangerous to have children when you're older? Whether motherhood is important? (That last one was the only question they've actually been asked in the last few minutes.) He shares with the group that they can't have kids.

There's awkward silence and then an abrupt transition into the meal. They begin to eat, and Skye immediately reprimands her father for not praying before they eat. Skye prays for the meal, and she prays for a "special blessing" for Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton, which makes Tammy cry.

The others at the table stared at each other in silence— perhaps because of the content of the prayer, perhaps because they prayed at all.

Tammy and Morgan were amazed at the love this little girl showed others. 

They’d rarely seen such compassion in an adult, even less in a child.

OK, let's run through this, shall we?

The content of the prayer was thanking God for food, praying for the hungry, praying for orphans, and praying for Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton.

Yes, it was a loving prayer that mentioned a lot of people beside just herself. That was nice.

However, it's far from The Most Compassionate Thing of All Time. Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton claim to have once been religious, or Christian, or something. Have they seriously never run across somebody who likes to pray for those less fortunate? Or, heck, give something to those less fortunate?

This prayer is pretty generic as far as compassion goes. I mean, yes, it's appreciated, yes, it's sweet, but it's not some superhuman show of compassion.

I think we can only assume that Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton have been socializing entirely with horrible people. It's not unlikely, given that in the midst of a sensitive situation with their current crowd, one colleague reprimanded them for not having children earlier, while another abruptly changed the subject and decided they should eat. Not exactly a group of compassionate supporters.

Poor Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton. And the rest of the crew. Stunned into silence because a little girl did something nice. That says less about the little girl and more about the sad, sad fact that nobody else in their entire existence has apparently ever bothered to do something nice for them.

“Dr. Hamilton.” Layland looked directly at Morgan’s wife.
“Please, call me Tammy.”

"I don't deserve to be called a doctor. The author doesn't think so, anyway."

Doctor Layland Leontiou invites Tammy to speak at the conference on Tuesday. Because I guess they didn't book enough speakers of their own. Skye is devastated that her father wants to go to the conference on Tuesday, because apparently he promised her they were going to "kiss the dolphins" in Jamaica on Tuesday, and they can't do that any other day. (In other news, apparently the Panama Canal cruise is taking 14 days because they're randomly going to Jamaica as well. That wasn't in the brochure...)

Doctor Layland Leontiou responds to these objections:

“I realize that, but Tuesday is the most important day of the conference. I can’t get away and the schedule can’t be changed. You know that.”

THEN WHY THE HECK DID HE MAKE THAT PROMISE? Why did he actively promise his daughter he would spend the day with her on what he knew was the most important day of the conference? And, for that matter, this whole "the schedule can't be changed" thing is a lie. Obviously the schedule can be changed, because Tammy's randomly speaking at this thing now.

I think Doctor Layland Leontiou just doesn't want to play with dolphins with his daughter, so he deliberately scheduled it for a day he couldn't make it.

Tammy, on the other hand, suddenly volunteers Doctor Morgan Hamilton to take Skye to play with dolphins. Malinda warns him that Skye talks way too much and suggests that he spend all day with Skye tomorrow to decide whether or not he actually wants to spend time with her again the day after that. (Um. Sure. That makes sense.)

At the end of the meal, Doctor Layland Leontiou has a book signing, and so he can't take Skye to the cruise theater, and she doesn't want to join the group of kids who are going. Doctor Morgan and Tammy Hamilton offer to take her instead. Because apparently they won't be spending enough time with her over the next two days.

Next chapter: more Skye! And more! And more! Probably! Fortunately, I got the idea from the synopsis that she gets sick and dies, so maybe that will happen sooner rather than later. Maybe she gets a rare dolphin kissing disease.

(Chapter 6.)

My Top 6 TV Shows of All Time

For not having lived in a house with TV reception since I was nine, I sure have managed to watch a lot of random TV shows. Thanks to Hulu and Netflix and other websites offering TV series viewing, I've found quite a few shows that I've just fallen in love with. This is my list of my favorite 6 TV shows that have ever, ever existed, and why I love them so much.

6. Daria

While Daria isn't always as brilliant a show as the others - sometimes the comedy doesn't work and the animation is awkward - when it works, it works perfectly. Above all, it really fleshed out an amazing female character, with a unique and interesting personality that made me feel, for the first time, that I was being represented on TV.

I've already written at length about why I love Daria the character in my article about TV girls who are most like me, and I mostly love the show because I love the character, so I'm not going to go into further detail about it, but instead move on to #5.

Favorite episode: "Write Where It Hurts."

5. Sherlock

I have yet to show anyone the pilot episode and have them be anything less than psyched to watch the next one. Not all the episodes are great - the second in each season lags a little - but they're essentially full-length movies about, IMHO, the most interesting incarnation of Sherlock Holmes ever. Benedict Cumberbatch brings this modern version of the character to life, and he is fascinating every single second he is on screen. Martin Freeman is fantastic as John Watson - an extremely likable everyman who is quite intelligent in his own right but far overshadowed by Sherlock's genius.

I love watching the way they update the plots for modern audiences, but most of all, I love that this show made such great use of Benedict Cumberbatch, and that it got him noticed. He completely deserves it. He makes this show work.

Favorite episode: "A Study in Pink."

4. The IT Crowd

I do really enjoy my British comedies. I'm actually a little surprised this is the only one on the list. This is one of those shows where every episode gets funnier the more you watch it. The cast is absolutely incredible - I took a poll once asking me who was the funniest character. I couldn't pick between any of them, so I gave up on the poll. While Roy, Moss, and Jen are the backbone of the story as our protagonists, the supporting characters of Richmond, Denholm, and, later, Douglas, round out the truly hilarious cast.

There are only 24 episodes of this show total (4 seasons, 6 episodes each) and nearly every one is really, really, hilariously funny. There are really only one or two that don't make me go, "OH, YAY, THAT ONE" when I realize which episode it is. It's a much, much better nerdy show than Big Bang Theory - smarter, funnier, and kinder to the nerds among us.

Favorite episode: "The Work Outing." Though "Italian for Beginners" is a very, very, very close second.

3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This is the longest-running show on my list. Generally shows that last beyond 3 or 4 seasons start going really downhill in terms of quality, or at the very least, are inconsistent across the board. While Buffy certainly has its ups and its downs as it gets into the later seasons, what makes it triumph over all the others is Joss Whedon's incredible character development.

All throughout the Buffy series, the characters' core stays the same. Yes, they grow. Yes, they change. But each change makes sense with who they are at that moment. When I go back and rewatch earlier seasons, I don't say, "Whoa, Willow was totally different at the beginning." I think, "Whoa, Willow grew a lot in the later seasons." As the characters encounter new situations, they react to it in a way their characters would, and it changes them in a way it would change their character. It's truly brilliant character consistency, difficult enough to get right in a movie, let alone a seven-season television show.

(And what other show could pull off a villain -> comic relief -> love interest -> volatile stalker -> redeemed hero arc so effortlessly? Seriously, that is my favorite character arc of all time. In any fictional universe.)

Favorite episode: "Once More With Feeling."

2. Arrested Development

It's hard to think of a show with higher rewatch value than Arrested Development. There are so many little foreshadowing jokes and throw-away lines that it's simply impossible to catch them all the first time around. The more you watch it, the funnier it gets. I still occasionally get a joke for the first time, and I've seen the series probably four or five times all the way through.

The cast is wonderful. Every single cast member here is at their best. Though they're all funny in other projects, I have never liked any of the cast members as well as I do here. The string of guest stars and cameos is also hilarious, with frequent subtle digs at their real-life personas. (There are several jokes my mom didn't get when we watched it because she kept forgetting Ron Howard was playing the narrator.)

The cynicism and lack of likable characters may not sit well with some people, but I still say it's one of the funniest shows ever. Hoping as I rewatch season four, it fits in as well with the rest of the series in its cleverness.

Favorite episode: "Mr. F."

1. Community

Oh, gosh. What is not to love about Community?

It was my third rewatching of the show that clinched it for me. This is my all-time favorite show. It is the most beautifully nerdy show out there, thanks to the genius of Dan Harmon, who was not afraid to say, "Hey, let's do a show where the entire premise centers around a mashup of Pulp Fiction and My Dinner With Andre."

Community's cast is amazing. Though my favorite characters are Troy and Abed, each character gets their chance to shine and be hilarious. From Shirley's self-righteous indignation to Pierce's continued attempts to be relevant to Britta's defiance of everything she deems oppressive, there are plenty of episodes that bring each character to the foreground. Some of these episodes even end up being oddly moving, despite the snarkiness and cynicism in the show. (Season four episode "Basic Human Anatomy" actually made me tear up a little bit.)

Beyond just a good cast, Community does something that other shows try and fail to do all the time: It makes perfect parodies. It captures the exact right feel of whatever it's tackling - everything from Ken Burns documentaries to Star Wars to Dungeons and Dragons to westerns to musicals to zombie flicks to video games to Law and Order... you get the idea. Generally I find parodies lazy and uninspired, but every time this show does one, it proves they don't have to be. Sometimes they even manage to squeeze several parodies into one - "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps" spoofs several horror genres in a row and does them all exactly as they should be done.

There's so much to love in this show. I'd argue season three is the most perfectly crafted TV season of all time. Out of 22 episodes, I love all but one, and even that one has grown on me significantly as I rewatch it. I have one friend (and you know who you are) who saw a couple episodes, didn't like it, and refuses to watch any further... and while usually I can understand people disliking the things I love, in this case I'm thoroughly baffled, because I honestly can't think of a single reason to dislike this show. (Well, at least not until we get to season four, where Dan Harmon was no longer involved, so it didn't really hit its stride until halfway through.)

If you haven't started watching this yet, DO IT. Catch up so you'll be ready for season five this midseason.

Favorite episode: "Digital Estate Planning." (And I'm pretty sure that's my favorite episode of any TV series, ever. Seriously. Pretty much anything Community has done, I think it's superlative.)

What are your favorite TV shows? Have you seen all of mine? What do you think of them?

Movies I Saw in June/July

I didn't see a lot of movies in either June or July, due to wedding planning, wedding, and wedding recovery. (In the middle I went something like 3 1/2 weeks without seeing one at all.) So I'm combining both months for this blog entry, in order from best to worst. I didn't really see a lot of new ones I liked these last couple months. Hoping to find some better ones in the month ahead.

New Movies (18)

Quartet (2012) - A sweet, charming story of a group of retired musicians. Good directorial debut from Dustin Hoffman.

The Cat Returns (2002) - One of my favorite Studio Ghibli efforts, right below Totoro and Fireflies. Really a delightful movie.

Three Amigos (1986) - Not laugh-out-loud funny most of the time, but it is fun to watch the three main actors during their best years.

Struck By Lightning (2012) - Surprisingly poignant story for being written by someone younger than me. Not perfect, but I enjoyed it.

The Fourth Kind (2009) - I don't think I was supposed to have enjoyed this as much as I did. Ridiculous, but entertaining.

The Call (2013) - A really brilliant, solid thriller for 2/3 of the movie, then it threw all that away for a cliched, ridiculous ending. Frustrating, but I have to give it some props for how awesome it was most of the way through.

Lifeforce (1985) - Cheesy ridiculous sci-fi is awesome, but I certainly wouldn't ever watch this again.

Trading Places (1983) - Some truly funny moments are brought down by a true "WTF?!" ending.

Destry Rides Again (1939) - I felt like this never really went anywhere with the character, and the ending was surprisingly dark for what was apparently a comedy. Weird and disappointing.

Fun Size (2012) - Not nearly as awful as I expected it to be, but not nearly as good as it could have been.

Side Effects (2013) - What started off as a fascinating psychological drama took the path of sensationalism and ended up with a far more complicated and, IMHO, far less interesting plot.

The Good Doctor (2011) - Still not impressed by Orlando Bloom. Or this movie.

Turner & Hooch (1989) - I might have liked this if I liked dogs or movies about them. As it was... meh.

Warm Bodies (2013) - What is with all these 2013 movies that I LOVE at the beginning and hate at the end? This started off brilliantly snarky and self-aware and devolved into complete nonsense. It made so mad I actually started yelling out loud at my laptop.

The Birth of a Nation (1915) - It's so hard for me to care about dramatic movies without dialogue. This didn't cut it.

She's the Man (2006) - While I give it kudos for not making as many gender stereotype jokes as I anticipated, this is still a pretty terrible movie.

March of the Penguins (2005) - Um. I don't remember a thing about this movie. That is how uninterested I was in it. It had penguins in it, I think.

Identity Thief (2013) - This movie was so terrible, I couldn't even find a way to make fun of it. Whoever wrote this sure knows how to make talented and funny people awful.

Rewatches (8)

I may have missed cataloging a few of these, but this is all the ones I remember.

Fight Club (1999) - Still one of my very favorite movies. Probably in my top 20. Everything about it is perfect, from the visuals to the acting to the darkly hilarious writing to the soundtrack. I love watching it unfold.

The Court Jester (1956) - I can't watch this movie without smiling. It's one of my go-to feel-good movies (as I wrote about here). I will purchase it on DVD someday, but in the meantime, there's Amazon Prime Instant.

American Beauty (1999) - There is so much depth in this movie. Every time I watch it, a different character jumps to the foreground and I become engrossed in their story. This time around, it was Chris Cooper's character. This movie hits me on such a deep emotional level - it is incredible and tragic and beautiful.

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) - This movie grows on me more every time I watch it. I find more and more to laugh at. Kevin Kline is my favorite part of the entire movie, playing a horrible human being who is also hilarious to watch.

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - I hadn't seen this since it first came out, and I was pleased to see it held up seven years later. It's still full of extremely beautiful and touching moments, as well as being genuinely funny.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) - Such a really funny movie. Since I'm not a fan of detective movies or mysteries, the plot itself actually gets in the way a bit for me here, but it manages to keep the same entertaining tone most of the way throughout, so it works.

1776 (1972) - I am not a fan of historical fiction movies, but something about this one captures and holds my interest all the way through. The songs are great fun, the dialogue is clever, and watching the battle for American independence is fascinating.

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001) - I admit it, this is in no way a good movie. But it makes me smile anyway. Woody Allen's dialogue just always works for me, especially when he's writing banter... and this movie is pretty much just a silly excuse for him to write banter.

What have you guys seen recently? How do you feel about the movies I've seen? What are some good ones I should be watching this next month, to counteract all the terrible ones I saw?

The Quest For Skye: Chapter 4

Recap: Doctors Morgan and Tammy Hamilton are on a 14-day Panama Canal cruise (with a super important childhood disease medical convention on board) to recover from the news they can't have children. In the last chapter, Morgan toured the ship, mocked people who ate meals, and met a gym worker named Kim who reminded him not to give up on God. As we left Morgan, he was on his way to the "children's area," where I guess they lock the kids in?

Morgan heads upstairs, freaking out again about the fact that he ate a snack once.

Morgan took the stairs one flight up to the children’s area. Any steps I take will be to my advantage, he thought, with chocolate crème cake on his mind.

In the children's area, all the kids are jumping in a bouncy house room, and then this happens.

His mind drifted to what it would be like to have a child of his own, but his thoughts were disrupted by a voice behind him. “Hey dude, you’re blocking progress. Either go in or step aside, please.” She drew out the word “please” for emphasis.

Morgan looked down at a charming girl. Her blue eyes sparkled and blonde hair bounced as she talked.

*facepalm*

Yup, I hate her already.

I was going to comment anyway on the bizarre usage of "progress" meaning "people going in and out of the room," but seeing it being used by a child is really awful. I have a feeling she's going to talk nothing at all like a human being, much less a child. I'd chalk it up to Rothdiener thinking it was cute, which is already a bad writing mistake, but, frankly, the man doesn't exactly have a knack for finding appropriate voices for his characters. (His previous book featured a girl who had spent her childhood in a Middle Eastern orphanage, like a year of her life in a religious U.S. home, and then the rest of her teenagerhood living on the streets selling out her body, lamenting to a friend, "I was still sexually pure in those days.") So he may not have even thought about the fact that children speak differently than adults. And that adults speak differently than whatever he writes.

He was stunned by the girl’s boldness.

This guy's a pediatrician. He works with kids. A lot. And he has never run into a kid so bold to ask an adult to move out of the way? I mean, I understand kids who are sick may be shyer because they're scared, but, still, seriously. A lot of kids are pretty straightforward. If you're in their way, they'll tell you. It's not a "stunning" personality trait.

The girl tells him her friends call her Skye with an E because when she was born her dad said her eyes looked like the sky. (Sigh.)

When he asks what he should call her, she asks if he's her friend.

Her confidence took him by surprise.

STOP MARY SUEING SO HARD

She's not being particularly confident in asking him if she's his friend. Frankly, I'm a little surprised she didn't just declare he is or isn't her friend. That seems much more likely. Only somebody who had never ever interacted with a child would say this.

Hey, it's occurred to me that we've found Skye. The quest for Skye is over. That means the book can be over too, right?

...But, sadly, there is more.

Morgan tells Skye that, yes, they're friends because they know each other's names. Skye says she's nine years old (I was wondering when we'd finally get an age mentioned). The book tries once again to make sure we know that THIS IS THE MOST SPESHUL OF ALL THE SPESHUL CHILD FLOWERS IN THE WORLD:

Morgan was astonished by the young girl’s large vocabulary and wittiness.

(That's in response to this apparently super-witty and super-vocabularied sentence: "Isn’t [this bracelet] nice? My father gave it to me. He said it gives me personality.")

Oh, and now we meet Skye's father. Turns out her father is...

Doctor Layland Leontiou!

..."Skye Leontiou"? Poor kid.

Morgan and Doctor L. L. talk for awhile.

“Did you teach her to be so outgoing?”

“Me? Oh, no. She came about it naturally. Everything she does is instinctive, and she’ll even tell you that. Wait till she tells you a story. She leaves nothing out.” 

I... I don't even know what to do with this.

It seems outgoing = instinctive = detail-oriented when telling stories?

Doctor L. L. says he has a superpower where he can "pick out a man's occupation and character after [he] first say[s] hello." So, um, that's fun. He senses Morgan is a caring person, so clearly his superpower is broken. Morgan didn't care about Skye. He was just amazed that a nine-year-old existed who told adults to get the heck out of her way and made witty remarks by repeating her father.

Oh, shoot. It turns out Doctor L. L. was just joking about the superpower and he really just figured out Morgan was the guy who talked to Malinda, since he had all of his books. I was really kind of hoping there'd be a sudden sci-fi twist here.

Skye makes them jump in the bouncy room with her and Doctor L. L. invites Morgan to dinner, although he tells them Tammy probably won't want to come.

Morgan heads back to the room, where Tammy is putting makeup on. Apparently Skye raced over to the Hamiltons' room, invited Tammy, and ran away before Morgan made it back. Tammy has been brainwashed by the Mary Sue, thinks she's the most beautifultalentedspecial child of all time, and has agreed to go to dinner.

The chapter ends with Tammy enthusing about the dinner:

“I can’t wait to meet Skye’s father and mother. Malinda is a medical genius.”

Then WHY DOESN'T SHE GET TO BE A DOCTOR?

Poor women. They never get to be doctors in this book. Just wives of other doctors.

(Chapter 5.)